Monday, July 31, 2006

Princess basket for my little Princess

*Aimee wants to know where I got the basket. I made it. I'm actually making up a bunch of baskets, with the intention to sell them. I have a few Princess ones made up now, if anyone is interested. I'll post the rest when they are done. A basket that size costs $20.00, but I can make them in any size, larger of smaller. More to come!

Princess basket filled

Here is the basket I made filled with loot. Uh, yes, as a matter a fact I did get a little carried away. I couldn't help myself, O.K.? That's what Aunts are for right? And lest you think I am showing favoritism, I have a Superheroes basket right here for my little Superhero too. It just isn't quite finished yet. Yes, I know his birthday is this weekend and Gracie's isn't for another month! What can I say? Girls are more fun to shop for! Not to worry, I am finishing it as we speak and will get it in the mail tomorrow. I will be missing Cameron's birthday this year(sob!). I was there the day he was born, and every birthday but one after(I had surgery that year). I'm bummed to be missing it this year, when he turns into a big five year old. We'll just have to celebrate again when I visit in two weeks!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Got Crafts?

O.K., so not feeling that much better today than yesterday. Bummer. We did manage to leave the house last night. I seem to feel better in the evenings, so at seven o'clock we headed over to Downtown Disney to visit the mother of all Disney Stores. I have been wanting to get over there for awhile, to pick up some princess stuff for a certain princess who is turning three next month(Three. I can't even type that without my heart skipping a beat. Wasn't it just yesterday we were looking at our very first picture of her? Sob.) Anyway, Joe graciously agreed to take me there, since it isn't his one of his favorite places, and I had originally planned to go during the week without him. I had a good time. We window shopped a little bit, had a pretzle, and came home. I was a little bit dissapointed in their selection of Princess merchandise. I didn't see anything there that I hadn't already seen at Target for a lot cheaper. Right now it's all about Pirates of the Carribean. Too bad Cameron had a Pirate party last year, because they had some pretty cool pirate stuff.
Anyway, I managed to get up at a decent time today, and decided if I wasn't going to feel good and was going to have to lay around again I might as well finish up some of the crafts I have started in the last month. Therein lies the problem. I have a lot of unfinished crafts sitting around! I am working on a bunch of baskets right now, as well as bracelets using Chines coins, not to mention the scrapbook I started two months ago that I can't show because it is a surprise for someone who reads this blog. So I'm bouncing around from one unfinished project to the next, not really finishing any of them. And then I decide to take a break and check my blogs. Can you say ADD? And here it is, 2:00 already and I have accomplished nothing. Bah. At least it has cooled down enough that we were able to turn our air off for the first time in two weeks. It's still humid, but not scorching hot at the moment.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Sleep. It's all the rage

I told myself that I wasn't going to post any more entries about being sick. I really need to learn to keep my promises. Yeah, I'm sick again. I won't go into the symptoms. If you really want to know, all you have to do is scroll down to a few prior posts and you can read them all in detail. All I know is that I'm getting tired of it. I missed lunch with my Dad today, and that makes me cranky. I'm not used to being sick so much. I'm used to being in pain, but that's different. When I'm in pain, I can still function. I take some pain pills, I pop my heating pad on, and I'm good to go. But I'm really sick. I can't get out of bed. All I can do is lay around on the couch or sleep. I went to bed at 11:00 last night. I got up at 11:00 this morning. I was up for an hour and a half, then I went back to bed for three and a half hours. Only now do I feel rested. According to the kidney disease support website I frequent, people with my type of disease need at least twelve hours of sleep a night. This is physically impossible for me to do during the week. I have to be up at 5:30 a.m., and obviously I can't go to bed at 6:00 in the evening. So what I'm wondering is, maybe my body is trying to "catch up" on my sleep on the weekends? Although I did read a study that claimed it is impossible to catch up or save sleep. So I just don't know. All I know is, almost every Saturday I have been feeling pretty rotten. I felt very good yesterday and last night. I literally woke up this way. If the pattern holds, I'll feel pretty good tomorrow too. I know this is probably pretty boring for you all to be reading, and I'm sorry for that. I am the kind of person who needs a reason for everything. I want to know why I am feeling like this so frequently, and what I can do about it. Two things I am nowhere near having answers to. I see the nephrologist again next week. I have a list of questions to ask him. Hopefully he will have some answers for me. Until then, I sleep. And lay around on the couch. Oh, and it never crosses my mind that this could be a real problem when we have a one year old. One year olds sleep a lot, right?

Friday, July 28, 2006

All's well that ends well

It was a long day. I am tired of the heat. I am used to it being hot at my house. We have air conditioning, but this is the most we have had to use it ever. I wasn't kidding when I said I was seriously afraid of getting the electric bill. What I'm not used to is the heat at work. I work two blocks from the beach. The weather there in the summer is usually beautiful. Very little humidity, 75-80 degress, with a lovely ocean breeze. For the last two weeks straight, it has been in the high eighties, with seventy percent humidity. In the course of my day, I am outside with the kids for three hours out of my eight hour day. Now I swore when I returned from China two years ago, I would never complain about humidity again. You don't know what humidity is unless you have been to China! There is nothing like it. For me, it was almost unbearable. But you know what? I'm complaining about the humidity. It is awful! I have sweat dripping down me at all times. I know that my medication(s) have something to do with this, but it makes me very unhappy. And cranky. There has to be a break in it soon, right? I know if you live in any other state than (southern)CA, you probably have it much worse off than I do(in terms of heat and humidity), but I am simply not used to this and I'm getting tired of it! After sweating to death at work, I headed to two back to back therapy appointments. One individual and one couple's. So much fun should be illegal. Today we met the therapist we will be seeing for our couple's counseling. Previously we had been seeing my individual therapist, on an "emergency" basis. I have to say, the jury is still out on wether or not I like this new one. She says MmmmHmmmm..... a lot. I hate when therapists say that. Mine never says it. I got bored halfway through the session, and started counting how many times she responded that way. It was like twenty-two times! At some point you could just nod your head to let us know you were listening, and forego the MmmmHmmmm's, don't 'cha think? She also stops after 50 minutes. That bugs me. For what we(and by "we" I mean our insurance co.) are paying her, you would think she could let us go for an hour. My therapist always lets me ramble on for an hour. Sometimes more! I don't know why it bugs me. But it does. I also find myself very annoyed that I have to be there at all. I know this makes very little sense, since I'm the one that insisted we go. But my husband and I already did extensive marriage counseling early on in our marriage(ten years ago). We went for five years! It saved our marriage. We learned how to communicate better. We worked through a lot of issues(ALOT, including the death of my mother). I believe it is what has allowed us to stay married for the last thirteen years. So the fact that we can't seem to work through the particular issues we are having right now on our own bugs me. I guess because I feel like most of our issues right now have to do with my husband alone, and not our relationship per say. It seems unfair that I have to go to another counseler so he can figure out what his problems are with self esteem and motivation. These all sound like very credible issues we can discuss in upcoming couple's counseling! Don't get me wrong, he is doing things on his own to work through his own issues. There's a lot of therapy going on around our house. I know in the end it can only help. But its draining. So anyway, that's how I spent my day. Sweating at work, then spilling my guts. But afterwards Joe and I went out and had a wonderful Sushi dinner, and now we're headed off to our favorite place, Golden Spoon for some delicious frozen yogurt. And it's Friday for goodness sake's It's all good.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

One Year Blogiversary

Yep, it's been one whole year since I started this blog. I never thought I would stick with it this long. I usually get bored pretty easily. But I really enjoy blogging. Not the writing, exactly, because I am not the greatest at that. There are some pretty awesome writers out there in blogland, but I am not one of them. No, I think it is just a way for me to get out some of the stuff that is in my head, and share it with other people. I like the relationships I have formed with other people, through e-mail, comments, and even in person. I am grateful for the kind words of support that I have received from other bloggers. This blog has covered some pretty heavy issues in the last year. Infertility, depression, endometriosis, chronic pain, kidney disease, and international adoption, to name just a few. I hope I continue to enjoy this phenomenon known as blogging for many years to come.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Proof that my face is blowing up like a puffer fish

O.K., so I am whining all the time(to my husband, family members, co-workers) that my face is slowly getting fatter due to the Prednisone. To which every single one of those people reply "Don't be silly. It's all in your head. Your face looks fine to me. You look beautiful"(alright, that last one came only from my husband, God bless him). But I know better. And I hate being told that it is all in my head. I can see people! I own a mirror. Why can't you at least admit that it might be a little bit true? So here is proof. These are three pictures taken of me with the camera on this computer over a period of six months. You can obviously see the swelling in the last pic, which was taken just moments ago. Yeah, I know I look like crap. I'm tired, O.K.?

Taken at Easter 2006

June 2006

Today. Yuck.
I'm finally feeling better. Sheesh, that was a long one. I have been feeling crummy since last Thursday or so. I made it through today without a nap, so at least that's something. I actually cooked something for dinner too. I thought my husband was going to pass out. He's been doing most of the cooking around here lately. I didn't make it to the pool. Even though I am feeling better, I have no energy after I get off of work. I know I should be exercising. I just can't seem to get motivated to do it, especially when I don't feel good. My nutrition has improved greatly in the last week. I am back on my diet. For the most part. I have to make sure I eat something every two-three hours or I get so shaky I can hardly stand up. My hands shake so badly I can';t hold scissors or write. I hate, hate, hate the Prednisone. Hate it. I see the doctor next week. I may have to tell him I simply cannot tolerate it at the dosage I am on. My face has filled out and I look like a pumpkin. A fat pumpkin. I can't stand to look at pictures of me. I look awful. My ankles are so swollen they look like tree trunks. I have this new fat roll around my middle that shows under my shirt. I have never had that before. One of the side effects of the Prednisone is "weight redistribution" Huh? How is that even possible? And yet, I am living proof that it does indeed happen. That's why you haven't seen anymore camping pics. I hate the way I look. It makes me cry at night. It makes me sad. I hope this is working. Tomorrow I go to the lab to get the tests done to let us know if it is working. Please let it be working.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Blah, Blah, Blah

I figured that was a good title for three posts in a row about how I am still feeling blah. Still feeling crummy. Sore throat, muscle aches, blah blah blah. Did manage to make it through a whole day of work today. Still work with a bunch of monkeys. I'm so done with this heat. One of the side effects of my many medications is excessive sweating. Ya think? I am dripping sweat all the time. Yuck. I am afraid to see our electric bill this month. Very afraid. I've been sleeping a lot. Napping two and three hours in the afternoons. It seems to be the only thing that makes me feel better. My muscle aches and headaches are better afterwards. Tomorrow I'm going to try to get into the pool, both to cool down and get some exercise. Things are improving between Joe and me. He has really been trying to keep some of his promises and get a bunch of stuff done that is long overdue. I am grateful for that. I think the couples counseling is helping. I'm grateful for that too. So it's not all bad. I just wish I felt better.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Still Blah

I am not feeling great again today. Yesterday I was a little better. I was able to make it to my aunt and uncle's house to see the family, and it was so much fun. I wish we all lived closer. Our visits are too few and far between. I got home late, and went directly to bed. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and stuffy nose, feeling simply exhausted. Dragged myself to work(literally) at 6:45 a.m. I managed to make it to a quarter of twelve before bursting into tears and declaring I had to go home, I was just feeling too rotten to stay. I feel bad leaving my co-workers like that. I know they need me, with my boss off this month, and they are the only two people working there that actually show up on a regular basis and are conscientious. It is unlike me to just leave in the middle of the day, but I was of no help to them anyway, in that condition. So I came home and slept. I slept for two hours before the electricity went out. Yes, our electricty went out at two o' clock in the afternoon, right when it starts to really get hot at our house. It was 96 degrees at 2:00(which I know is still cool compared to other cities). We kept the house closed up, and it stayed bearable until the electricity came on at 5:00. I don't know what I would have done otherwise. If I was feeling alright, I would have just gone to the mall or something, but I'm pretty sick and laying on the couch is about the extent of my abilities right now. Aside from the air conditioning, I was concerned with how I was going to entertain myself with no electricity, and what I was going to do when it got dark. Thankfully I don't have to worry about those things now. I am seriously considering calling in sick tomorrow. I have enough sick time, and I feel rotten right now. I'll just see how I feel in the next few hours. I'm going to have to come up with a plan to lower my stress levels and get more sleep or I have a feeling I am going to be getting sick a lot. Sigh.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Feeling Blah

Sorry for the lack of posts. I wish I could say it is because I have been fabulously busy, but that isn't the case. I haven't been feeling great. I feel particularly lousy today. I am starting to see how the stress level in my life directly relates to how I am feeling physically. Last week was horribly stressful. Coming home so late from camping on Sunday, and dealing with the aftermath of that, then some serious drama at work that is Sucking. The. Life. out of me. I am seriously unhappy at my job right now. A change might be in order in the near future. And that in itself is stressful. I've been there almost fourteen years! Add to that couple's therapy, a visit with the psychiatrist(who is changing my meds), and you have one heck of a week. My sister had a bad week too. Maybe it has something to do with going on vacation, and trying to get back into the swing of things? At least I'm just hanging around the house today. I have to rest up for tomorrow because I am going to be spending the day at my Aunt and Uncles house with my cousins whom I haven't seen in over a year. I am so looking forward to it, and I am NOT missing it, no matter how crummy I feel.

P.S. Sorry so many of these posts lately have been about how I don't feel good. The truth is though, I don't feel good a lot of the time. I don't want to complain all of the time, but it's a drag. I wonder sometimes how I'll be able to handle a toddler on top of all of this.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

A Change of Perspective

I had a big long post worked out about how I work with a bunch of monkeys(Have you seen that commercial? Hilarious!), and how stressful my day was, and how much I dislike my job at the moment, when I came across this on another blog. And now I am crying, and thinking how lucky I am, and how it really doesn't matter that I work with a bunch of idiots. There are more important things in life than that.

You can learn more about this father/son team here. And that song always makes me cry.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I am a danger to myself(and possibly others)

Lately I have been noticing that I have gotten a lot more clumsy. If you know me, you would think that was not possible. I am normally pretty clumsy anyway. However, in the last month or so, I noticed I have been much more so. At times it is almost as though I don't have control over my own body! I run into things. I drop things. I go to take a drink of something and miss my mouth completely. I fall down stairs. Heck, I fall on flat surfaces. It has gotten really bad. I was discussing it with my doctor, and he says some of it is due to side effects from the many medications I am taking. I am taking a lot of medications at the moment. On three of them, one side effect is dizziness. I have to be careful when going from a sitting position to standing. One side effect of Prednisone is trembling. My hands shake almost constantly, especially when I get hungry. It makes it hard to hold things. It also makes me jittery. Nervous. It's hard to sit still. Anyway, it is very frustrating to feel so out of control of my own body at times. This is all leading up to my camping stories. We arrived in Big Sur at 1:30 p.m. on Thursday, and proceeded to our campsite. Joe and I began unpacking the car, and then set up the tent. We couldn't find the square of astroturf that we usually put down in front of the tent, so Joe placed some straw beach mats that we had brought. I went to the car to retrieve something and was headed back towards the tent. The tent was on a slight downward slope and I was walking at a pretty fast pace. My right foot came down on the first beach mat. The mat slipped out from under me so far that it went underneath the tent. My body was perpendicular to the ground, about three feet up. I fell so hard and with such force that Joe heard all of the air rush out of my body, and he was standing a good ten feet away! My head thwacked the ground with a dull thud. Pain radiated throughout my whole body. That's right, we had been there only twenty minutes and I had already had my first fall. Not a good way to start our trip. But wait! There's more! So later on that night I decide to head up to the bathhouse to take a shower. My husband lovingly hands me a flashlight and tells me to be careful. To which I reply sarcastically "Uhhh..I'm taking a shower. I think I'll be O.K." Ha! After a long, hot shower, I'm feeling clean and good and I start down the hill to our campsite. On the way back, I accidentally passed the dirt road I was supposed to go down. There was a small stream separating our site from the road I was on. Instead of backtracking to the easily accessible dirt road, I started looking for a way to get across the stream. My first mistake. I found a small log that was laying across the stream and thought "Oh good. I can get across there." As I approached the log I had a fleeting thought of "Hmmm...maybe this isn't a good idea." I quickly dismissed it and started across the log. I took about two steps when it all started to go bad. I'm not even sure exactly what happened, except I lost my footing and fell(bounced actually) off of the log and into the stream, landing on my back, with my head facing downhill and my just shampooed hair in some brown algea that was growing in the stream. I cannot get up. I am laying in a freezing cold stream in my clean sweats, my just shampooed hair in the mud, and I cannot get up. I begin yelling for someone to help me. My sister's tent was right next to the stream, so she comes running out to see what has happened. At that point I am just laying there crying, unable to get up. She summons my husband to come and help me. He comes and helps me out of the stream, and brings me some clean clothes so I can go back up to the shower and clean up. Sigh. Something like that could only happen to me, right? I have pictures of the crime scene that I'll post later. So I had two pretty bad falls in a few hour's time. And that was just the first day! Sheesh! Maybe I should just stay within the confines of my apartment to avoid hurting myself!

This is the stream that I tried to cross

But fell off of the log and landed here

And caused me to do this to my arm and one leg

Monday, July 17, 2006

It is possible to have TOO much fun

Well, we're back from camping. What a wonderful trip! The weather was beautiful, it was great to see the kids, and a good, no a great time was had by all. The only problem is, we were having so much fun that Joe and I didn't want to leave, so we stayed in Big Sur until 4:00 p.m. yesterday evening, wandering around the town, stopping at every beach we encountered, even hiking down into some very private coves on the way home. Needless to say, we didn't get home until after midnight. I didn't get to bed until 1:30 a.m., and had to get up at 5:30 this morning to be at work. I was not a happy camper(ha!) at work today. Add to that the fact that I am bruised, badly scraped up(stories later), and can barely move from all of the hiking, and I came straight home and went to bed and haven't moved from the couch since. I think I may need a vacation from my vacation! This weekend was just what we needed though. Rest, relaxation, and time away from the stresses of our every day life. Tomorrow we go for our first couple's counseling session. That should be fun. Actually, we know the drill already, so I know it will be fine. We are going to do whatever it takes to get our marriage back on the right track. I forgot to put the memory card into my camera(duh!), so I have to wait for Lisa to send me pics. She has a few on her site here. I'll add more later this week, and tell you all about some of my camping mishaps(C'mon, it's me we're talking about. You knew there had to be some!) I hope you all had a wonderful weekend too!

P.S. I have already picked three ticks off of my dogs. Eeeeewwww! The hazards of camping!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I have just...

Cleaned the entire house, bathed two dogs, cleaned out my car, made a last minute trip to Target for needed items, grocery shopped, gassed up the car and packed it with our camping stuff, and packed all of my clothes. And I am finally ready to leave for camping in the morning. But boy am I tired! That will all be forgotten tomorrow when we pull in here, pitch our tent, and get ready to do nothing but rest and relax all weekend. We're leaving at four, so we'll be sure to get there nice and early. No computer, no cell phones. Ahhhh...the great outdoors!

*Update I just checked my sister's blog, and she wrote exactly the last line I just posted. Ha Ha! It's like we're twins of something! My husband has suggested that between the two of us we actually share just one brain. Nice.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Bunco Baby, Bunco

I'm feeling much better today. Fine, actually, except for a sore throat. It must have been a flare up, because there is no way a virus comes and goes that quickly. I guess I'm just having a hard time accepting that I'm sick. I have a disease. Periodically I'm going to feel lousy. So far I have only had these episodes on the weekends, which is good since I am desperately needed at work. It is just such a drag when I'm feeling fine and then BAM! Out of nowhere I am sick. It's a bummer. But I feel better today. And I'm about to go play Bunco. I'm excited. I haven't played in a couple of months because last month I wasn't feeling well. Gotta go prepare the food I;m bringing.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Getting nothing done

Today had been a wasted day. I have done nothing but lay around on the couch. Well, I moved from the couch to the bed and back once. I did help Joe do six loads of laundry, but the exertion of that left me drenched in sweat. Maybe this is a virus and not a "flare up" of the kidney disease. It' s so hard to tell. The symptoms are pretty much the same, except this is lasting longer than a flare up usually does. I'm ready to feel better now. I have so much to do. Sigh. I hope I am feeling better tomorrow. I cannot call in sick right now. My boss has the whole month of July off and I'm in charge. There's no one to cover for me, and besides I already took Thursday and Friday off to go camping. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. I should stop complaining. I'm sure my sister, who has been home alone all weekend just her and Gracie would love to have a whole day doing nothing but laying on the couch. Any mother would, I'm sure. O.K. complaining is over now.


Well, I've managed to come down sick. Does it seem like a coincidence that I always get sick after some kind of emotional stress in my life? I think not! I have it bad this time though. I've been in bed since yesterday at 3:00. Chills, fever, bodyaches, headache, sore throat. Yuck. I hope I'm over it by tomorrow. I have so much to do. I don't have time to be sick. I have to do like ten loads of laundry. I have to get out all of the camping stuff. I need to clean out my car. I have to go grocery shopping for the week. Um, yeah. I need to lie on the couch. It's a good thing my husband is feeling especially magnanimous towards me this weekend. He should be. After all, I decided not to leave him on Friday. He has been at my beck and call since I arrived home yesterday. He really is a good guy. He's making me breakfast as I type this. Maybe I'll feel better after I eat.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Back to our regularly scheduled programming

O.K. I have removed that last post. It revealed a little more than I had intended it to, and needless to say my husband was NOT happy. But the way things have been going lately, I can't say that had a lot to do with why I removed it. Sometimes I just reveal a little too much of our personal lives and hit post before thinking. Those kinds of posts are best left as drafts I think. The bottom line is, my husband and I are going through a hard time right now, and we're doing everything we can to fix it. We're not separating(for now) and we are not getting a divorce. We're slowly trying inch our way out of the mess that has become our marriage. Anyway, I'm ready for the weekend. Today I'll be taking my car in to get new tires and an oil change to ready it for our trip to Big Sur next week. Gosh I can't wait for that. We haven't been camping in two years, and I love, love, love to camp. I love everything about it. The dirt, the campfires, the sitting for hours gazing into the fire or up at the stars. And I get to see my neice and nephew too, whom I haven't seen since Easter. Yippee!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Feeling Calmer

Sorry about the freakout yesterday. But c'mon, you've got to be getting used to them by now! :)
Today I was able to decrease the dosage of Prednisone by 20 mg., and I have to say I am feeling a little bit better. I think I will be able to handle it as long as I get to keep decreasing each month. I'm not even going to worry about whether or not I have to take it again at a later date. There's nothing I can do about it now. I'll just have to wait until my bloodwork comes back in two weeks to see if the protein has decreased. Well, that and pray very hard that the disease goes into remission. I'm doing everything I can right now. As for the weight loss, I have decided to keep up with the diet, but not worry about weighing myself every single week. I am still exercising almost daily, and I am pretty sure at the very least I can maintain the weight I am at for another four months. That's going to be my goal for now. To not gain anymore back. I'm think I can at least do that. Baby steps. Overall just feeling better about the whole situation. The doctor kind of freaked me out yesterday with some of that new info. I'm seriously considering getting a second opinion. My insurance will pay for it, an dit might help me to hear what another nephrologist has to say about it. Thank you for all your kind words yesterday. It really does help to know that others are thinking about me, as I think about all of you people that I don't even know! Blogging is such a strange thing. Strange but wonderful.

P.S. Oops! Did I forget to mention that we now have ALL of the documents for our dossier complete and ready to send to our agency, and we will be getting fingerprinted on Tuesday? How could I forget to mention that? That means most likely we will be DTC August 5th, since our agency processes paperwork on that date each month. We are so excited!! Finally! Of course we'll feel better when we have our group number, but hey, we're almost there!
(Group numbers are what our agency gives out instead of LID's)

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Follow Up With the Nephrologist

Today I had my first follow up visit with the nephrologist since being diagnosed with the kidney disease. It did not leave me with a happy peaceful feeling. He told us some things today that he did not mention the last time we saw him. Joe says it is because he knew we would be overwhelmed with the diagnosis and probably wouldn't be able to process much else. I don't care! He should have been up front with us about these things from the beginning! The first little surprise was that I will have to take the Predinsone for close to six months, not three like originally we were told. My reaction to this? NNNNNOOOOooooooooooooo...........!!!!!!! Prednisone is EVIL. Evil, I tell you! I thought it would be fine, if I only had to take it for three months, but I seriously don't think I can handle it for six. It makes me jumpy. Jittery. Irritable. My hands shake so badly at times I find it hard to type or hold a pair of scissors. It makes me starving. All the time. Even an hour after I eat. It is causing me to gain back the weight I lost, slowly but surely, despite exercising five days a week. The doctor was thrilled because even with what I gained back I still lost two pounds from my last visit. The way I have been eating there is no way that will continue into next month. I am in a constant battle with myself over what to eat, how much to eat, to make better choices. I really am trying. But it is hard. Probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. It makes me tired. Emotionally and physically. Here are some other lovely side effects of Prednisone:
  • upset stomach
  • stomach irritation
  • vomiting
  • headache
  • dizziness
  • insomnia
  • restlessness
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • acne
  • increased hair growth
  • easy bruising
  • irregular or absent menstrual periods

Insomnia? Yeah. Like nothing I have ever experienced. I mean, not only am I NOT tired, I am WIRED at 11:00 at night. Knees jiggling, can't sit still, wired. Luckily the meds the psychiatrist gave me do make me drowsy, but only if I take them by 8:30, which I don't always remember to do. They take a good hour to an hour and a half to kick in. At least then I am able to drift off to sleep. Only to be awakened two-three times a night to pee. Yup, because of the Prednisone. Often I don't make it back to sleep, so I'm up from 4:00 a.m. Yippee.
Anyhoo, back to what the doctor said. He told me because of the very large amount of protein in my urine, my kidneys will deteriorate at a very fast rate if we can't get the amount lowered. With the Prednisone. And if the Prednisone isn't effective the first time around, I will take a short break and then try it again. What? I thought this was a one time deal! I will never lose all of the weight I have to lose if I have to perpetually take Prednisone! That is so unfair. Also, I cannot have a hysterectomy for at least a year. A year!? We hope to have a kid in a little over a year! I need to have it before then. Who's going to take care of my one year old while I recover from a six week surgery? (I have to have "the full cut" because I have never given birth. Yet another way the infertility is managing to mess up my life. I swear, it's neverending)
He said some other things too, but my brain is getting fuzzy and my hands are shaking so badly it's hard to type. My mantra for this week will be "One day at a time, one day at a time." I'm sure this will all look better in the morning. Hey, at least tomorrow is Thursday already!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Fireworks outside my house

I took these! And I am very proud. I have been trying to get my camera to take some decent firework pictures for four years and have not been successful. Finally I was able to get a few good shots(out of 75!). I used my tripod, and the nighttime setting on the camera. I'm happy with how they came out.

Fourth of July Digital Scrappin'

Happy Fourth of July!

Hope everyone has a safe, relaxing Fourth. We're just hanging around the house, then we're off to a BBQ later on today. Don't forget to send some prayers and/or good wishes to our troops today!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Busy Busy Busy

We've been going pretty much non-stop since yesterday morning. We spent the majority of the day at the beach. It was a beautiful day and much relaxing took place. Then it was home to meet with my Aunt and Uncle, who gave us some very interesting information on a new dietary supplement I am eager to try. It was good to see them. It has been awhile and we had a very nice visit. After that, Joe and I did something we never do. We went to the movies. At 9:00 at night! Yeah, we left the house after dark. Shocking, I know! You would think that having no children we do this all the time, but we just don't. I am home in my P.J.'s at that time in the evening. We didn't get home until 11:30! We saw The Devil Wears Prada. It was cute. Mindless, but cute. Today we headed over to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach. We never made it to the Queen Mary, as Joe has to teach tonight and had to get home. We'll do it another weekend. The tickets are good for the rest of the year. Now I am thouroughly exhausted and am sitting on the couch checking blogs. So far a great weekend.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Feeling Better and a Busy Weekend

Well, I've been feeling much better. The good thing is that those "episodes" only last a day or so. Well, day two of my long weekend. Having fun! Yesterday I had lunch with Dad, then Joe and I played some tennis, picked up some Sushi for dinner and watched a movie on pay per view. Today we're headed to the beach, then home to meet with my aunt and uncle. Tomorrow we are planning on spending the entire day in Long Beach, visiting the Aquarium and the Queen Mary. They're having an exhibit on the Titanic that looks interesting, and one of my parents gave us free tickets for all of the attractions. Which is good for us, because to see all of those things it would have cost us like $70.00 per person. Obviously we wouldn't be going otherwise. Then a Fourth of July BBQ on Tuesday, followed by fireworks at our house. We live right next to a high school where they put on a show, so we literally just have to step outside our apartment to watch them. Then back to work on Wednesday. I'm not thinking about that yet! Then it will be only one more week until we go camping in Big Sur. Ohhhh, I can't wait for that. Much to look forward to!