Time flies

How does so much time get away from me between posts?  How is it almost Fourth of July?(seriously..how?)



I have no idea what is up with the text here and later on but I spent 20 minutes trying to fix it and I can't.


I am happy that time is flying by right now because it means we are slowly getting closer to our trip here:

It's been three years since we were last there and I.  can.  not.  wait.  to go back.  

7 weeks!!

Last weekend we met up with P, K & S to have dinner at their house. K was going to make us homemade carnitas(Joe's favorite).  Just as we pulled up I got a text from K(sorry I didn't get it earlier while I was driving) that S had fallen on their tile floor and busted her chin open.

So we arrived at their house,  and they had to leave  to go to the ER.  Joe and I enjoyed the carnitas(and a margarita.  O.K., a couple of margaritas, but who's counting?) alone. The carnitas were dee-licious!

I  kept updated on S's condition via text while Joe and I enjoyed their flat screen t.v. and trashy cable t.v. shows, neither of which we have at our house. 

Sadly, by the time they came home I was ready to go, as I wasn't feeling well and hadn't slept well in a few days.

Here is S after she got her stitches.  Poor little sweetie!  She was so brave.

We are making plans to do it again, this time where we actually get to eat together.  :)  I can't wait!

Let's see, how else am I occupying my time?  Oh yes, Pinterest.  If you aren't on Pinterest, man you are missing out!  You can follow me here.  If you don't know what it is and you want to check it out, I can send you an invitation.  I heart Pinterest

One of the jokes about it is that people pin all of these amazing things like recipes, or DIY projects or crafts, but they never make any of them.

 Well not me, because I actually have made quite a few things that I pinned.  Most of them recipes or craft projects, but I have used some of their natural home cleaning tips as well.

Anyway, if you have spent any time on Pinterest at all, I'm sure you have seen those salads in a mason jar.  I loved this idea when I saw it, as I bring salads to work two-three times per week. I bought some divided tupperware containers to put all of my ingredients in, but it was very bulky to bring to work, and store in our very small fridge.  I decided to give the jar idea a try.

I didn't have any mason jars at home. I didn't want to buy a whole package of 12 and I had a spaghetti jar on hand so I used that and it worked just fine.

First I gathered all of my veggies and got to chopping.

I love this low fat honey mustard dressing I found that is made with yogurt.  I despise fat free dressing(yuck) so I usually go with a low fat version. It's worth the extra points for me. This dressing is only 2 points per serving. It comes in a parmesan caesar that is delicious too.

All of the ingredients chopped and ready to go into the jar

                                                       Next I chopped the lettuce

Now to layer it in the jar. The dressing goes first. The key is to not let the dressing touch the lettuce, or the lettuce will get slimy.

Start layering the ingredients. They said to start with the "hearty" vegetables first.  I put the tomatoes, onion, and corn in first, topped by the chicken.  

Next you stuff the lettuce on top tightly. I really mashed it in there.  Put the lid on and that's it!  A healthy lunch to take to work. When you pour the salad into a bowl, it comes out perfectly with all of your veggies on and dressing on top. I read somewhere that you could shake up the bottle and it would coat the lettuce but mine didn't budge because I stuffed so much lettuce in there.

 The best thing about them is that they last four days!  On Sunday night I make a couple of these for my  lunches and I am good to go.  So convenient and healthy!

I had also seen on someone's blog that you could make fruit salad and store it the same way, so I tried that too.  The fruit salad kept for about three days, but it was very convenient to just pour it into the bowl when we wanted to eat it.  If I prep fruits and veggies when I first bring them home so I am much more likely to eat them.

I put the blackberries on top so they didn't get squished.

Anyone else out there a Pinterest addict that I can follow there?  I am always looking for people to follow because the more people you follow the more great pins you see.

On a totally unrelated (yet awesome) note, head over to my friend Rhonda's blog and check out the referral of their beautiful baby BOY!  He is precious!

Some pictures

The last two weeks have been busy. And draining.  I find myself so tired at the end of each day.

I always have a million blog posts in my head but never actually have time to write them. Here are just some pictures of the last month.  

We went on a picnic at our favorite walking trail on Memorial Day.  We had a wonderful time.  I love riding my bike!

We even took Gizmo, which we don't normally do because she is a menace.  No really. She is.  Do not let her cute face fool you!  Just ask our downstairs neighbor, who she barked at and chased into her house the other day.  No joke.  I think she was scarred for life!

This is how we got her there.  It was Joe's idea and I laughed in his face and told him she would *never* stay in that basket for two miles there(and back).  But you know what?  He was right! She totally stayed in the basket and actually seemed to enjoy it!  Write down the date of this because it isn't often that I use the phrase "Joe was right".  LOL.

Happy to be at the park.

I made a couple of banners for a friend's little girl's birthday.  I think they came out cute!

We laid my aunt to rest. It was very sad.

I fit into a size dress that I haven't fit into in a long time.  I have a long way to go but I am very happy with how far I have come. 

My sister showed up with a dress similar to the one I just bought.  Twins much?  

We went to the Spectrum and tried out these little cars.  Cute!

We rode the Ferris Wheel.  I am not normally a fan of the Ferris Wheel but the weather was so clear and beautiful you could see for miles and it distracted me from the height at which we were dangling precariously   :)

                                    

Dragon Boat practice started a few weeks ago.  My heart is happy. I feel a peace out on the water that I don't feel anywhere else.

Like I said, been busy!  Summer is here.  I have a whole list of things I want to do this summer.  Maybe I will post it and we'll see how many I actually get done!

We Are Family

Go ahead and sing the next line.  You know you want to.    :)

I have a small family.  When I was a child we could all sit around one table for holiday dinners.  Slowly we grew, as my cousins had children, but we are still a small,  close-knit family. 

 Twice in the last month I have had the pleasure of visiting with family.  We don't all live locally, so this is a treat when everyone is in one place. 

On Mother's Day we met at my cousin's house for a lovely brunch.  Then again last Sunday we met at my aunt's small apartment.  It isn't that often that I get to see all of my cousins so frequently.  We always have a good time together.

When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.  ~Joyce Brothers

You don't choose your family.  They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.  ~Desmond Tutu

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.  ~Barbara Bush

What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.                                                 ~George Eliot

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.             

                                                                               ~Anthony Brandt

My aunt lost her battle with Cancer this week.  She was brave, courageous, strong and faithful.  She was my only Aunt and I will miss her dearly.

Please keep my cousins in your prayers, as they are now without either of their parents.

 Please keep my Dad in your prayers, as he has lost his big sister and his only sibling(I cannot imagine).

On Friday we will gather again to celebrate her life. 

I will be forever grateful that we were able to gather together one last time  to make these wonderful memories.

Goodbye Tante.  You will be missed.

Having a place to go - is a home.  Having someone to love - is a family.  Having both - is a blessing.  ~Donna Hedges

I Wish

I wish I didn't still feel so blue.

I wish I blogged anonymously, so I could write about some stuff that is going on and actually post it here instead of writing it and having it sit in my drafts box.

I wish they would hurry up and have the new girl start at work so I didn't have to work ten hour days anymore.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

I wish when I looked in the mirror I liked what I saw,  instead of disliking my body.

I wish I could celebrate the 27 pounds I have lost instead of focusing on the number still to go.

I wish I didn't always feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

I wish something that is bringing some friends profound happiness didn't make me feel sad.  I wish I could be there more to celebrate in their happiness instead of isolating myself so they can't tell I'm sad.

I wish my aunt wasn't sick.  (She is very sick).

I wish I had air conditioning in my car.  It is miserable to drive in if the temp climbs above 80 degrees. Heck, while I am wishing, I wish I could afford a new(used) car.  The one I have is falling apart at the seams.


I wish I didn't have depressive episodes that made me feel like this.  This has been a long one.

I wish I had a three day weekend.  Oh wait-I do!


A three day weekend.  Beautiful weather.  Long bike rides.  Corn on the cob from the Farmer's Market.

All things to be thankful for.  I will try to focus on those things.



I am taking a  little break from FB.  Not a lot of people noticed(LOL). I will be back soon.  I just found it sucking up a lot of my time and decided to step away from it for a bit.  It probably seems kind of dramatic to deactivate my account, but it's the only way I can stay away.  What is it about FB that makes you feel like you *need* to spend time there, even if you are trying not to?

If you could say a prayer for my aunt I would really appreciate it.  She really needs them.

Discombobulated

Discombobulated:

Out of order, not working properly, contorting, blabbering nonsense, confused, dysfunctional, out of shape and out of mind. (This definition from the Urban Dictionary, which sums it up perfectly for me)

That's the word of the day.  Or, week rather.

Some might say it's the word that best describes my life.   :)

Lately I am in a constant state of discombobulation.  Say that three times fast.


Another way to describe it:  running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, which if you think about it is quite gross.  Why would a chicken be running around with no head?

Anyway, I digress.

I have been feeling very discombobulated.  Why, you might ask?

Things have been very stressful at work.


We are two girls down and I have been working a lot of overtime.  It's just me and my office manager up front right now, and that simply isn't enough to accommodate the schedules of three doctors and the influx of patients that we deal with on a daily basis.

Add to that the fact that I have not been sleeping, and you get someone who is exhausted.  And discombobulated.  I told you it was the word of the day.   :)

Here are some examples of stupid things I have done out of exhaustion/discombobulation:
I'm going to see how many times I can use that word in this blog post.

Today I got up early to go to a WW meeting only to discover that it hadn't been seven days since my last weigh in(you can only weigh in once per week), so they couldn't "officially" weigh me in, which sucks because I reached a milestone today(two actually) and was supposed to get my keychain and another charm.  Now I have to go to another meeting this week so I can get them.  I did"unofficially"  lose three pounds though, so I am thrilled about that because I have been stuck at the same weight for three weeks now.

Another example of my discombobulation: Twice this week I went  to purchase something, only to realize I had left my wallet at home.  TWICE.

And another:

I almost ran out of gas because for some reason I neglected to see that my gas light was on, and had obviously been for quite some time.

Bah.  I would like a do-over on this whole week please!



Speaking of being understaffed, you know that phrase good help is hard to find? Wow, is it ever true.  We have interviewed 12 people in the last two weeks, and while they did find two people to work in the back, we have yet to find the right person to work up front with us.  I can't believe the amount of people who come in for an interview with NO computer experience(like can't even turn one ON), or are dressed inappropriately(flip flops?? Skin tight skirts and hooker heels?   Really??).  It's partly because we are being very picky about it too.  If you have to sit three feet from someone for 45+ hours per week, you want to make sure you can get along.

Also, just an FYI for anyone looking to land a job working up front, if you come in for an interview and you are totally rude to the girl working up front, who you will be sitting right next to, you probably won't get the job.  Just sayin'.

Sheesh.

Things haven't been all bad though.  Last week my boss pulled me into his office, to which my first response was "Oh Crap!' given the fact that three girls have fired in the last 4 months.  He assured me he wasn't asking to see me because of anything bad(thank goodness!) and that instead they thought I was doing a fabulous job and they wanted to give me a raise.  A substantial raise.  I started crying right there in his office. I have been working my ass off, coming in early and staying late and it is so awesome that they saw that and rewarded me for it.  I can't tell you enough how much I love my job!

Other than that, I have been kind of down in the dumps this weekend, with Mother's Day and all.  I know, I know, it's just a day.  It isn't different than any other day.  I get it.  But it makes me sad.  And I am entitled to my feelings, even if you don't agree with them(or think they are stupid).

On Monday I will get up and not think about Mother's Day for another whole year.

But this weekend I feel sad.


I am hoping for a week this week in which I am feeling  less discombobulated(that was five times.  I think I could have done better if I wasn't rushing out the door right now to make it to an appointment).

If you are celebrating Mother's Day, I truly hope you have a wonderful day.

If you aren't celebrating, I totally understand and I wish you lived closer so we could all go out and have a margarita together. Sending virtual hugs to you guys.





P.S. If you are reading this K, please answer my texts.  I am worried about you.

Chin Up Buttercup

This time of year always brings me down.  Mother's Day is a tough one for me.

My mom is gone.

I don't have a child to call me mother.  I probably never will.

It is heartbreaking when you realize that something you wanted your whole life, and have tried to attain for 10 years isn't going to be.

I am really coming to terms with this recently, as many of my friends become closer to referral. I am happy for them(I really am).  But I am sad for myself.

Perhaps it's just a pity party.  Perhaps I should snap out of it.

Or perhaps I should just let the feelings come and allow myself to feel them until they pass(but not while I am at work.  Because crying at work is lame.  Not that I have done that.  I'm just saying that it would be lame to do that).

When I get like this I feel myself retreating and isolating, two things you shouldn't do when you are depressed.  But I do them anyway.  I can't seem to help myself.  *But I am trying not to do them.

So I get up every morning and drag myself out of bed.  Force myself to go to work, and then force a smile while I am there.  Throw myself into work so I forget about feeling sad for awhile, but feel the sadness creep back in on the drive home.

Pretty soon you start to realize that you are feeling sad more than you are not feeling sad.  Such is the nature of depression. Sometimes it sneaks up on you and you don't realize it until BAM-there it is.

One thing I love to do is browse pinterest and find inspirational words.  It is probably annoying for anyone that follows me there because I am a fan of the inspirational words and will pin as many as I can find in one night, flooding their boards with inspirational words.  It's comforting somehow. I suppose there are worse things to be flooding your pinterest boards with than inspirational words, but I get that it can be annoying.

Here's a good one I found to help me through the week:

Here is something I do quite often. Especially when I am in a funk like I am now:

This is a good one too:

But here is one that I have next to my bed:

I will be grateful for this day.  

No matter how sad I am.  No matter how stressful work is.  No matter how crappy I feel.

I will be grateful for this day.

The rest will fall into place and eventually I will stop feeling so sad.  

It is a pattern that I am accustomed to.

Here is a piece of writing that a popular blogger wrote about depression that very much hits home for me.  I cried when I read it. If you have a few minutes, it's worth a read.

**I am forcing myself to work out, and I know that will help.  I am trying to get out of the house and not isolate. Some days are better than others. I will probably step away from the internet for awhile.  At least until Mother's Day is over.

I will be o.k.  This too shall pass.

P.S.  My phone says I am always online on FB, even when I'm not, so if you instant message me there it's not that I am ignoring you.  I just don't see those messages unless I have my phone in my hand.  I wish I could turn off that feature but I can't figure out how.

The Flower Fields

Last weekend Joe and I went for a drive down south of us to visit The Flower Fields in Carlsbad.

It has been a few years since we last went. They are a beautiful as ever.

If you've never heard of them, they are fields of ranunculus flowers in Carlsbad, CA

Every spring they produce thousands of beautiful flowers that bloom every spring.  The fields are so large they can be seen from the freeway driving by.

Ranunculus is one of my favorite flowers.  It is second only to Tulips.  Roses would be a close third.  I miss growing some of the flowers we were able to grow when we lived in a downstairs apartment.


The flowers are grown in rows of color.  Joe's favorite is the multi colored row, which is is standing in front of.

I decided to forego the collages and just post all of them. You all don't mind scrolling down a bit, do you?  :)

Every single row we walked by I would say "Oh, orange is my favorite", only to walk by the red ones and say "Actually the red are my favorite", and so on until we had gone through all of the colors.  It was cracking Joe up.  They are all just so beautiful!  So vibrant.

The fields are in such a beautiful area, with a view of the ocean atop the hill

Gorgeous.

Flowers are Love's truest language 

                                           ~unknown

Flowers match my shirt!

Be like the flower, turn your faces to the sun

                                                    ~Kahlil Gibran

They had a greenhouse with orchids too.  We killed the orchid my Dad got us. I don't know how.  Usually Joe is very good at keeping things alive.

The Earth laughs in flowers

                             ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

They had a maze made out of sweet peas.  Sweet peas have the most beautiful scent.  You might even say it is aMAZEing.  LOL.

After much deliberation it was decided that the coral colored were, in fact, my favorite.

Where flowers, bloom, so does hope 

                               ~Lady Bird Johnson

They had beautiful roses too.  Love the color and the fluted edges on this one

Beautiful!

I WILL be making on of these.  I just need to find an old chair.  It's so cute!

More stunning roses

Happiness is to hold flowers in both hands

                   ~Japanese Proverb

It was a fun day!