O.K. It's gone. All of it. Thanks for the support and advice. And don't worry. I am not ignoring the problem. Far from it.  There are measures in place to get us back on track.  Something like this doesn't go away on it's own, and you don't stay married to someone for fifteen years by ignoring problems.  Also, to anonymous who had concerns about my ability to parent a child. You think I don't have worries and concerns about parenting a child?  Of course I do.  I also think I have more "issues" to overcome than a lot of people. But you know what?  I worked in childcare for fifteen years and I had serious reservations about many, many of the parents I came in contact with.  My husband and I will make  wonderful parents one day. Regardless of how much money we make, or if I have  health conditions, or even if one or the other of us go through some tough emotional times. I have no worries there.  Way to be supportive. Sheesh. And you know what?  That comment wouldn't have bothered me in the least if you had put your name on it. I never leave comments anonymously. Ever. If I have something to say, I have the guts to stand behind it.   I'm erasing the last week from my thoughts. All I can do is look forward, and start doing the things necessary to get my life back in order again.

I took the advice of someone I trust and deleted parts of the two posts I did. I put too much out there, and she is right, we need to protect ourselves because of the adoption. And I just plain felt bad having it out there. My husband is not a bad person. He has some problems and he has some work to do and he made some bad choices. I don't think it's fair for me to tell the whole world about some those choices. Even though I did. I also took out some of the stuff I wrote about work, because Hello, every one I know knows about this blog, including some of the people I work with, and I am not trying to make anyone feel bad or hurt their feelings. I'm just trying to get across that I am having a very hard time right now and I am doing the best I can. I just hope my best is good enough. I am beyond glad that it is Friday. I want to go home and get into my pajamas and forget this week ever happened.