Saturday, May 30, 2009

Longing

I am bored. Joe is sleeping because he worked last night and he has to work tonight.

I have been feeling down. Shocking.

Anonymous wanted to know how it was going with the new thief-proof flower basket. So far so good! Here's a picture of me with it this morning.

Today we went to my friend Lynn's daughter's birthday party. Here she is:
Is she not the cutest? Her name is Angie and I love her. During the party her Dad(Mike) had us all come into the family room to watch a video he had made of Angie's first 2 years of life. It was so beautiful.

I made it through about 4 minutes of it before I burst into tears and had to leave the room. Luckily we were standing in the very back and no one saw. I had to go stand on the side of the house and pull myself together before I could re-join the party.

I am so lame(sorry Lynn).

But then we had cake(and ice cream) and I felt a little better.

Some days I think we would be fine with never having kids. But then I go to a kid's birthday party and realize(again) how much I long for them. I wonder if that longing ever goes away? I wonder if I will ever be able to go to a 2 year old's birthday party and not wish it was me singing to my baby?

Last weekend marked 7 years that we have been trying to have a baby, with no end in sight.

Did I mention I have been feeling down?

I wish I had some more cake.

12 comments:

Julie said...

Hugs

Julie said...

and cake.

2china4S said...

Sorry that you are down. It is perfectly normal to feel the way you felt upon watching the video. We too felt many times that SS would never come home. Many "friends" told me that it was for the best, because "why would you want to parent at your age?" Because I WANT to parent, simple.

I think when Joe wakes up, you two should do a decadent cake run.:)

Michelle said...

K-I would totally go get more cake but I have been dieting and I've been doing so well and the cake this afternoon already put me over for the day. And also I have been trying really hard not to try and alleviate my depression with food :( But I know that you understand where I'm coming from and thanks for always being so supportive.

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rhonda said...

Cake fixes *almost* anything.

*hugs*

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Cake and Ice-cream... comfort food for tears and it is allowed... hugs to you... our turns are coming...

Carrie said...

BIG HUGS! Glad to see your plant still hanging around!

Jenna said...

I saw your twitters all day and you were in my thoughts. I know how hard those days are. I was there for so long and those were the hardest times.
I am glad that you made it through... I know on days like birthday parties for little ones I didn't count points either. It was just too hard and cake does help those bad days.
Also I am so glad to see that your thief proof basket of flowers is working. It is awesome you can't even tell.

Snowflowers Mum said...

hugs.

these are tough times, give yourself a break.

For five years I couldn't attend a baby shower and I ate my way up 6 dress sizes.

this is a strange journey...be easy on yourself.

Kayce said...

HUGE hugs! I know that party must have been so hard for you. Wish I lived closer so I could go for a walk with ya and we could eat cake after our walk! LOL! Hugs again.

Sherri & Todd said...

here is a hug for you ( ). I know just how you feel, but our turn will soon come.

Sherri