Saturday, May 26, 2012

I Wish

I wish I didn't still feel so blue.

I wish I blogged anonymously, so I could write about some stuff that is going on and actually post it here instead of writing it and having it sit in my drafts box.

I wish they would hurry up and have the new girl start at work so I didn't have to work ten hour days anymore.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

I wish when I looked in the mirror I liked what I saw,  instead of disliking my body.

I wish I could celebrate the 27 pounds I have lost instead of focusing on the number still to go.

I wish I didn't always feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

I wish something that is bringing some friends profound happiness didn't make me feel sad.  I wish I could be there more to celebrate in their happiness instead of isolating myself so they can't tell I'm sad.

I wish my aunt wasn't sick.  (She is very sick).

I wish I had air conditioning in my car.  It is miserable to drive in if the temp climbs above 80 degrees. Heck, while I am wishing, I wish I could afford a new(used) car.  The one I have is falling apart at the seams.

I wish I didn't have depressive episodes that made me feel like this.  This has been a long one.

I wish I had a three day weekend.  Oh wait-I do!

A three day weekend.  Beautiful weather.  Long bike rides.  Corn on the cob from the Farmer's Market.

All things to be thankful for.  I will try to focus on those things.

I am taking a  little break from FB.  Not a lot of people noticed(LOL). I will be back soon.  I just found it sucking up a lot of my time and decided to step away from it for a bit.  It probably seems kind of dramatic to deactivate my account, but it's the only way I can stay away.  What is it about FB that makes you feel like you *need* to spend time there, even if you are trying not to?

If you could say a prayer for my aunt I would really appreciate it.  She really needs them.


Joannah Labrador said...

I noticed right away. :(

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. I hope that this weekend has been just what you need to feel better.

Number 6 and no more counting! said...

I GET everything you are saying here. I felt all of that. I wish we could chat.

I have told you this before and I will tell you this again. I am in awe of you being able to put this down. SERIOUSLY!


KHM said...

I noticed. I am sorry things are tough right now. Praying for better times for you.

Tracy said...

Hope you feel better soon:)

Zenza said...

Don't give up (except for the FB thing, I agree with you!)! You have done so much, in so many ways!
Isa from France, LID 16 oct 2006.