Blah

-I spent all morning today dealing with the car troubles that have been plaguing my husband's car since Friday and we still don't know what's wrong with it. Ugh. We're hoping to know more tomorrow. I really, really (really) hope it is something that can be fixed because we obviously cannot afford another car right now and although we can share a car for the time being, my husband will find a job eventually(right?) and will need a car to get there.

-I am beyond frustrated with the unemployment office right now. It has been 3 and a half weeks since we filed and we have heard nothing. Joe has called there twice and both times it took him all day to get through and then when he got through it said "We're too busy to take your call right now, leave a message and we will call you back". Except they never called back. I understand that they are extremely busy right now, but we have GOT to have some kind of money coming in from somewhere. Like, right now.

-I can't believe how sick I am, so soon after my last sickness. I'm tired of it. I haven't had this much sickness since I worked with kids. It must be stress, because I had a flu shot and I take vitamin C every day. I'm so done with sickness.

-I think I found an apartment for us to live in, at least short term. It costs $550.00 less per month than our current apartment. Of course we're losing a bathroom and a bedroom. Which means that I have to go into the nursery and start packing up all of that stuff to put into storage. Just typing that sentence brings tears to my eyes. I simply haven't been able to bring myself to do it. Packing up all the baby stuff seems so..........final. Like it's not really ever going to happen. I never thought we would decorate a nursery only to have to pack it all up again(Heck, I never thought we would ever decorate a nursery). Some people would say "That's what you get for setting it up so early". That might be so. It doesn't make it any easier to pack it all up. But can I really have a nursery set up for the next 3 years?

--Speaking of having a nursery set up for three years, when talking about the adoption lately I find that I am having to do a lot of explaining as to why we are sticking with China. I have gotten a couple of "Why don't you just switch to another program" and "I don't understand how you can continue to wait like this. Have you looked into other options"? Each time I try to answer those questions I find myself a bit on the defensive side. First of all, it's not as easy as just "switching to another program". Why, you might ask? Well how about "Because our daughter is in China". We both believe this. Strongly. We were led to this path. We love this child, who probably isn't even born yet, all the way on the other side of the world. We have talked about her, planned for her, dreamed of her, loved her. You can't just turn that off like a switch. And we can't just "Switch to the special needs program" either. There are a dozen or so reasons why, some of which are private and I don't want to talk about. But don't think we haven't discussed it. Because we have. And we can't do a concurrent adoption(domestic or otherwise), for various reasons either(the very least of which being that my husband doesn't have a job). So for now we wait. We will continue to wait. As long as it takes. Sometimes I wish we hadn't told anyone in real life(outside of family) about the adoption. Then I wouldn't have to answer those kinds of questions and I wouldn't feel defensive about it.

--Changing subjects. I have been taking Robi.tussen for my cough and it makes me feel a little loopy. Actually, a lot loopy. But I have to take it because if I don't the coughing spasms are so bad that at least three or four times a day I cough until I throw up. Too much information? Perhaps. But I have to be on the phone a lot at work and I can't be coughing up a lung while I am doing it. So Robit.ussin it is. Unless someone else has any other suggestions?
P.S. I am only taking 1 teaspoon every 8 or so hours so I am not overdosing, and cough drops aren't even touching this cough. At all.

--I have been in bed since I got home and I'm wishing we had a t.v. in here because I don't have the energy to go out into the living room. Joe even brought me soup in here for dinner. He takes such good care of me when I am sick and he never complains, even though I have been sick nonstop for the last three weeks. I am very lucky to have him.

--Man, that was all over the place. Told you I was loopy!