Thank You

I will be de-activating my FB account later today.    I just need some space and time to re-evaluate some things going on in my life right now.  I can still be reached here on my blog(scrappermg.blogspot.com), or you can e-mail me at chinaadopter(at)gmail(.com).

I wanted to thank everyone who has been my friend there, especially those of you who have reached out to me in what has been a very difficult time in my life.

Thank you for that.

Michelle

This month has been so incredibly difficult for me.  For us.  I don't think I have ever experienced this much stress before.  I am having a hard time dealing with it.  I am still walking, which helps slightly.  Work has been a welcome diversion.  I dread the weekends and the time I am at home because that is when the worry gets the best of me.

Joe has been making an effort to reduce my stress as much as he can.  He drives me to work and picks me up.  He takes me to my appointments.  He does all of the cooking, and cleaning and laundry.  He even brings me breakfast or lunch in bed when the thought of getting up is too much for me.

He has even taken me to Disneyland a couple of times, hoping to cheer me up.  Yesterday we only stayed for 2 hours.  We rode the monorail, and the train and went on Buzz Lightyear.  We sat on a bench in the sun and people watched and then we came home.

The first time we went was a couple of weeks ago, before I was hospitalized.  We spent the majority of our time at CA Adventure.  We went on Tower of Terror and rode CA Screamin' three times.  It's one of our favorite rides there.

It was much less crowded a couple weeks ago than it was yesterday.  With school getting out, it will continue to become more crowded and we will probably not go back until the Fall.  Our passes are blocked out for  most of the summer anyway.

These are totally out of order because Blogger was not cooperating and I have zero patience to fix them right now.

Empty Main Street a couple of weeks ago

Listening to the party  line in one of the shops

Love this Rasta Mickey hat

We rode the train around the park. It was nice to just sit and enjoy the views of the park.

First attempt at a self protrait

Joe trying to ruin my self portrait.  Mission accomplished :)

Ahhhhhh.....that's better

Matterhorn as viewed from the Monorail, which we rode into the park from

Dowtown Disney(we park there for the free parking.  Shhhhhh..........don't tell!)

I love the goats at the petting zoo.  I went around to each one and found out their names(they are stamped onto their leather collars) and spent a few minutes with each one.  They are so sweet.

Give me an "A"

Getting ready to be blast out of the starting gate on CA screamin'

Going upside down

It's Indiana Joe

We did some window shopping. I loved these mugs

Ummmmm...................okayyyyyyyy

Again, with the pictures out of order.  From a couple of weeks ago.  Mickey was right out in front of Main street so no need to go wait in line at his house in Toontown. And there was no line either.  Love that.

It was good to get out of the house a couple of days and forget about some of the stress for a short while. 

Weary

I have never been so tired in my entire life.


I feel heavy. It’s hard to move.

Stress has weighed me down.

It’s like a heavy coat on my shoulders that I can’t shrug off.

I feel like I could sleep for weeks, but when it comes time for that my body will have none of it.

I know, I know. It’s always darkest before the dawn. This too, shall pass. Blah, blah, blah.

Right now I’m just so weary.



I am too weary to listen, too angry to hear.

                                          -Daniel Bell

Hope is the Thing With Feathers

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

 I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.


                                     -Emily Dickinson

Sweeeet!

My good friend Kayce over at "Our Boy and his Cricket" nominated me for the "Sweet Friend" award a few days ago. I'm only just getting around to posting about it.  This is special to me, coming from her because she is one of the sweetest friends that I have.  What started out as an online friendship has blossomed into an "in real life" friendship and I am so blessed to have her in my life.  You rock Kayce!  I'm still working on getting up  your way to meet little cricket.

As part of the award I'm supposed to name 10 things that make me happy.  Well that shouldn't be too hard!

Of course first and foremost is my husband. He makes me smile every single day.  He is one of the kindest people I know. I am so very lucky to have him.

 Rain.

I guess it's easy to say I like rain because we don't have it very often, but I simply love when it rains.  Most people like to stay inside and stay warm and cozy while it's raining.  I like to do that too, but I really love to go out walking in it.  Walking in the rain is one of our favorite things to do in the winter.  We had a wetter than usual winter this year where I live so we had the opportunity to enjoy it a lot.

Crafting.  I love to make things with my hands.  Whether it be cards, or wall hangings, banners, or jewelry, being creative makes me feel calm.  I haven't been doing much of it lately with all of the stress we've been dealing with.  I need to start up again.  It is good for my soul.

Big Sur.

Anything that has to do with nature makes me happy, whether it be camping out under the stars or a quick hike through a local canyon, but this place in particular makes me feel more at peace than any other place  on earth. For the first time in ten years we won't be making  our annual pilgrimage there.  I am beyond sad about it.

Walking.  Since I started walking 2 months ago to get into shape, I have felt a peacefulness come over me.  Aside from the physical benefits I am reaping, it gives me time out of my day to de-stress and unwind.  Many a problem has been worked out on one of my 4 mile walks.  I have leveled out to walking 3-4 times per week, 4 miles a day.  I'm about to take it to a whole new level, so stayed tuned for that.

These 2 monkeys.  Whenever we are together they are always doing something that makes us laugh.  I haven't seen them since Christmas.  I miss them.

Blogging.  I have been blogging for 5 years this July.  I am amazed at the support and friendships I have  gained through this blog over the years.  

This Steam Cleaner makes me happy.  We have a dog who never quite mastered the art of potty training, and this thing has come in handy countless times. It grosses me out how dirty the water is that I empty out of it after cleaning our carpets.  Ewww.  But I love how clean the carpets look and  feel after. 


Lotion.
I can't live without it.   I know that seems like a strange thing to make someone happy, but it does.  I have always had extremely dry skin.  Well something happened after my hysterectomy that turned my skin into lizard skin. Seriously.  Lizard.  Skin.   It is so gross.  And itchy.  I have stockpiled lotion in every part of our apartment, as well as my purse, car and desk at work.  I simply cannot be without it.  I have even been know to stop and buy some when we are out and I realize I have forgotten mine at home.  I was able to pick these up in a 2 minute walk from our living room to our bathroom.  Perhaps the lotion is more of an obsession than something that makes me happy?  :)

Lastly, these rice crackers.  I am addicted to them.  In fact, Joe is out right now getting some for me.  Mmmmmmmm.................!

Now I must nominate some of my sweet friends.  I had  a hard time choosing only a few, because there are so many of you in blog land that I consider my friends, but here goes:

K, at Spectacular S-  K is another blogger that I have "known" online for years, but haven't had the pleasure of meeting in person.  Something is in the works to remedy that right now. :)  I have learned so much from K about attachment and parenting and I love visiting her blog to get my fix of her sweet daughter "S".

Rhonda at Our Journey to Little Maple-  Rhonda has been such a pillar of support for me over the last year.  She has talked me down off the ledge more than once in the last few months.  Thanks Rhonda!  We are both waiting impatiently for our little ones from China.  One day we will introduce our daughters to one another.  I don't know when.  But one day.

JourneyWoman- another blogger in the line to adopt, I have had the pleasure of meeting her in real life. Oh how I wish we lived closer to each other.  Her writing often moves me to tears and at times I feel like she has taken  the words directly from my head and put them on paper.

Shanny, over at Bless Your Heart- Shannon is one of the funniest, sweetest people I "know".  Her blog posts always keep me in stitches. 

DeAnn, at Displaced Southerner.  My partner in crime at my job. The stories we could tell.  But we won't.  Because if we did we'd have to kill you.  :)