I should be:
Excited about Dragon Boat practice starting this morning and Joe attending with me for the first time.
Enjoying the beautiful weather we are having. (High in the mid-eighties with a slight breeze).
Loving driving down the freeway with all of the windows down and the radio blaring .
Thinking about all of the things in the post below that I am thankful for.
Instead I am:
Waiting on something that is so long overdue that are lives are unravelling right before our eyes the longer we wait for it.
Wondering if my husband will ever find a job and our lives will have a sense of normalcy again.
Isolating myself from friends and family.
Dreaming of a child I don't believe is ever coming.
Dreading the time I took off from work in a couple of weeks for the camping trip we won't be able to go on.
Crying myself to sleep over an e-mail I wish I had never sent and the repercussions from it.
All I feel is sadness.
I am going to church with a friend later and dinner afterward. Maybe that will make me feel better.
Because this sadness?
It sucks more that I can convey.
And It's getting old.