Tired

(How cute are these pandas?)

That about sums up my life right now.   Tired.

The new job is partly to blame but the fact that I don't get enough quality sleep is mostly to blame.  I don't sleep well most nights.  Either I toss and turn all night or I go to sleep fine but wake up at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. and can't get back to sleep.  On those days I'm so exhausted I can't see straight.

I do take medication to help me sleep, as well as Melatonin(which honestly does nothing for me) and I am very strict about "sleep hygiene" but many nights per week it just doesn't work.   It has been decided that sleep will probably be a lifelong problem for me.

My sleep apnea has been worse lately too. Joe says he can hear me snoring from the other room on some nights and I wake myself up quite often due to snoring as well.  I don't have my machine anymore, as I need to re-do my sleep study and I just haven't had the time to do it.  Yes, I know it's important.  It's just a pain to schedule an overnight appointment and now with my insurance changing I have to wait until that is all sorted out.  Not to mention I really want to schedule it on a day I can either have off the next day or go in late because I swear I may have slept a total of one or two hours the last time I did one.  I'm not even sure how they got the info they needed for the study.  They should have called it an awake study because that's what I was for most of the night.

One more thing put on the back burner for now.

My body has also been slow in adjusting to working five days a week.  Working four days per week really suited me and helped with the chronic fatigue I suffer from due to the kidney disease.  Not much to be done about that though.  I just really try to get plenty of rest on the weekends.  I also started working 8:30-5:30 instead of 8:00-5:00 and I am finding that little extra time to sleep in in the mornings is nice.

Aside from working five days I am really loving my new job.  It is stressful at times and crazy busy but the day just flies by.  I swear I look at the clock one minute and it's 8:00 a.m. and I blink my eyes and it's time for lunch.

I love that.

The other thing I love is how thankful they are to have me.

Almost every day someone thanks me for being there and tells me I am doing a good job.

That is so weird for me.  I have never experienced that before.  And I don't just mean from my old job (where they pretty much told me the opposite.  Nothing like having your boss tell you you suck at your job).

I mean even from my job before that, where I worked for 15 years.  I always got excellent yearly reviews when I worked there but no one ever just walked up to me and said "Hey, you are doing a great job".

But they do at this job.  It kind of makes me uncomfortable actually.  I'm just not used to it.

I'm so grateful to have this job too, which really changes your outlook.  I'm just very grateful.  I'm sure a little of that will wear off as time goes by but for now it's a pretty good place to be.

Appreciated and thankful.  Two things I haven't felt in a very long time.



Anyway, I swore that I wouldn't let my blog go by the wayside if I started working full time, so this is my boring attempt at at least posting something semi-regularly.

Sorry it wasn't more interesting.  Did I mention I have been tired?  :)