Pacifica

Yesterday we took the dogs down to a beach in Pacifica to watch the sun set.  It was so beautiful.  I took about a hundred pictures.  I tried to narrow them down but I didn't really.  Sorry. 

Great ending to a wonderful day.  

Christmas vacation

Having a blast in San Fran, as usual.  Thought I would put a few pictures up because I know I'll forget later.  

I was fortunate enough to get seven days off of work, and we headed up on the 23rd at four a.m.(yawn). 

Hung around the house and somehow found ourselves out and about looking for some last minute gifts(not me, Lisa.  I had been done for quite some time). 

Obligatory tree photo

Lisa got us all fancy matching slippers. They are sparkly!  Lol.  

Lisa got me some new paddock boots.  One of my goals is to do a lot more riding.  The car accident derailed that for far too long.  

Joe got me this awesome mug.  He got me a few more elephant themed items.  I love elephants!

Cute little owl tea infuser and kitchen timer

I also got a printer that will print right from my iPad and phone, which I had been wanting.  

Grace got a trip to China over spring break and Taylor Swift tickets!  An awesome Christmas for her for sure.  Cameron got an Xbox 1.  He aw also quite happy.  

Played a game of apples to apples on Christmas Day.  Always a fun time. 

Dinner was delicious, as usual.  

In the Christmas spirit

The neighbors were certainly feeling it too. 

That's a lotta lights

Yesterday we went to a beach in Pacifica to watch the sunset(stunning), and today we drove into Sausolito and china town.  Pictures to come.  

Tomorrow we head home.  Boo.  

Christmas Spirit

It's no secret that I love Christmas.  

I really do.  I get that from my mom.  My mom loved Christmas. She always made it so special for us, both as kids and adults, up to the age of 25 when I lost her. 

This year I was especially excited about Christmas, because after two years I had my own place again, after feeling like I never would.  

I started shopping in September.  

I put my tree up before thanskgiving(gasp!). 

 We put a bazillion lights on our tiny house. 

I hand made all of my Christmas cards this year. 

Then it seems like I hit a wall.  I had a fire lit under me to get everything done ahead of schedule, and this week the fire fizzled out.  

Addressing cards is not my favorite part of sending Christmas cards, and I only got half of them done. 

There is a half made wreath sitting on the floor near my tree that I just never found the energy to finish. 

Suddenly I am realizing that I have a few more gifts to buy, with time(and pay checks) running out to buy them, especially because I need to buy online.  

My job gets a little more stressful each day, as we get closer to the New Year and people want to come in before their deductibles re-set(not gonna happen).  People take their frustrations out on me.   

Watching the kid's Christmas shows(like I do every year) brings on a feeling of melancholy when I realize we will never get to watch them with our own children.  I cried watching Charlie Brown Christmas.  Linus' speech always gets me at the end.  

Even the Christmas songs that I love(that we have playing at work full time now) are making me feel a little sad this week.  It's only Tuesday!

I'm still not sleeping and am so tired.  I have some kind of bacterial infection in my eyes and they are red and they hurt.  I'm having to leave work early two days in a row to see two different doctors about it, using PTO that I've been saving for the week I'm taking off at Christmas.  I never have been able to catch up from all of the PTO I used for the accident, then a couple of sick days after that.  The eye drops that were prescribed to help cost $127 because our insurance started over and I have a deductible.  I'm praying the eye doctor tomorrow has some samples I can use.  Otherwise I'm not sure how I'm going to swing that.  

I need some dental work done and it simply isn't in the budget right now.  Like, not at all.  I'm hoping I get some money back on my taxes this year. It's no fun having pain in your mouth when you eat.  Why does dental work cost the price of a down payment on a car? It's ridiculous.  I don't have dental insurance.  I also don't have $2,000.   It's insane.   

My accident case is coming to the point that we are going to submit a demand package from the insurance company any day now.  I'm nervous about that.  I'm worried that they won't offer to pay us enough money to cover all of my expenses, plus enough to pay the lawyer and physical therapy bills and all of this will have been for nothing.   I'm nervous we will have to go to trial(not likely, but I worry about it anyway).  I'm a worrier.  

I guess what I'm saying is that at this point in the holiday season I'm feeling a little down and stressed out.  I think that's pretty normal.  But it's still no fun to experience those feelings. 

Maybe what I need is a hot bath and a glass of wine. Maybe I need to chill out and not be so hard on myself whenever I feel blue.  

Hopefully I can get back into the Christmas spirit soon.  

I have 16 days to get my mojo back.  Only 13 days to get through until I'll have a whole week off. 

Tis' The Season

Oh blog, how I have neglected you.  I have the best intentions of writing every two weeks but it doesn't happen.  The time will come when I roll up the carpet and retire the blog. It might be soon, I have a feeling.  

But alas, not yet, because here I am.  

Christmas is upon us.  

Christmas, people! How the heck did that happen?

Halloween and thanksgiving gone, just like that. Poof.  

That's how I've been feeling lately.  Like I close my eyes and another month has gone by. Sometimes I feel like I'm sleeping my way through life.  

Work and sleep.   That's how it seems.  Truly.  

I've been exhausted.  My thyroid has been low for months.  I'm only just feeling the effects of the medication adjustment.  Why is the thyroid so hard to regulate?

So yeah, cue me sleeping on my lunch break in my car every day, and barely managing to get out of bed on the weekends again.  

That and I can't get used to sleeping alone with joe working the graveyard shift.  All of my single friends tell me I'll get used to it(and even like it!), but so far that isn't the case.  I still toss and turn on the nights I'm alone. Yawn.   

Our kitty Leeloo is getting bigger and she's a crack up.  She makes us laugh every day.  I've never considered myself a cat person but I sure do love my Leeloo kitty.  

At first she didn't look twice at the Christmas tree, but yesterday I caught her trying to untie the tree from the valance.  I tied it up thinking for sure she was going to climb it.  Thankfully she hasn't tried that yet.  

Knock on wood.  

Isn't she sweet and innocent looking?  Yeah right. She's destroying our house.  

For the first time in 15 years we stayed home for thanksgiving.   Joe's job had already agreed to give him Christmas off, so we knew he would be working for thanksgiving, and that was ok.  A week off at Christmas at a business that is open 24 hours a day is a gift.  We are so grateful.  

So we stayed home for thanksgiving.  Joe was gone at night and slept most of the days, so it was a quiet thanksgiving, which was exactly what I needed. I cooked a lovely meal.  Roasted chicken(I'm not really a turkey person), homemade mashed potatoes, Carmelized brussel sprouts with bacon and bleu cheese(to die for).  Plus roasted sweet potatoes and rolls.  So.   Good.  

I can cook when I want to.  It's not something I enjoy doing, but I am a pretty good cook if I put my mind to it.  

I spent the next three days doing absolutely nothing, and it was heavenly.  I cleaned. I slept.  I read a whole book.  I slept.  I put up our Christmas lights. I slept.  

Seeing any pattern there? So tired.  

I'm nearing the end of my physical therapy treatment from the accident.   While I feel 95% better, I do still occasionally have some neck pain.  I am choosing to continue care once a week for the next three months(out of pocket), but according to the attorney they can only treat me a certain amount of time based on the amount of damage done to the car.  I think it's ridiculous but it is what it is.  

Next week we will meet with the attorney and come up with a monetary figure that we feel covers the expenses the accident caused, along with pain and suffering.  If the insurance company doesn't counter with an amount we feel is fair, we will move forward with litigation.  

I'm out thousands of dollars from this accident.  Lost wages, multiple rental cars, the tow yard fee.  Not to mention the emotional toll this has taken on me.  I'm still very gun shy in the car as a driver and have even become a nervous passenger.  It makes Joe nuts. Sometimes I just close my eyes so certain things won't freak me out.  I obviously only do that when joe is driving. Most of the time.   Lol.  

I'm so ready for this to come to an end though.   It has consumed almost five months of my life and I'm ready to be done with it. 

Sometimes I will drive joe to and from work on the weekends when he works days so I can have the car.  We always stop and admire the view on our way home.  Lake Elsinore is very pretty at night.  

I'm excited to enjoy the rest of the holiday season.   I'm actually very prepared this year.  I'm almost done shopping.  I'm going to wrap this weekend.  The tree has been up since before thanksgiving(don't judge me!).  The lights went up on the outside last weekend, with more going up this weekend.   I've got a bit of a Christmas light obsession.   This is only half of them. 

The halls are decked and I'm loving it.  

I handmade all of my Christmas cards this year and those will be going out next week.  

I just love Christmas and having my own place again makes it a million times better.  This is the happiest I have been in a very long time.  

I'm very grateful.