I tend to get mired down in the negative stuff. I hate to say it, but often I am a “glass half empty” kind of girl.
I think I come across as a negative Nellie moreso here because this is my place to vent and process my thoughts. I’m a lot less negative in real life.
No really. I am. I’m actually a lovely person once you get to know me. (No comments from the peanut gallery on this one please :)
I have been kind of stuck in a negative pattern the last couple of weeks. The longer my husband goes without a job, the more stressed out, sad, and just plain angry I become.
I have been experimenting with different ways to deal with these feelings. I found that lying in bed crying wasn’t making me feel better. In fact, if anything it perpetuated the negative feelings and created a vicious cycle from which I couldn’t break free. I was doing a lot of lying in bed crying. More than I care to admit.
So I started looking for other ways to work through those feelings.
You already know about the baking. While that helped a little, the aftermath of having 10 dozen cookies (and brownies-last week it was brownies) around the house is not good for my husband. He was being very supportive in getting rid of them for me, but it wasn’t the healthiest alternative. I like the idea of giving them to a senior center, but honestly right now I don’t have the time (and often don’t have a car) to deliver them. I am going to keep that idea on the back burner though.
Another thing I have been doing to help me look at things more positively is that I have started walking. Every single day. I’m not talking about going for a leisurely walk around the block for a half- hour. No, I’m talking about hard core, walking as fast as you can, for an hour to an hour and a half a day. I’m not going to lie, at first it was hard. Really really hard. The first half an hour of every walk was pain. Pure pain. I almost gave up. But I didn’t. I powered through the pain and you know what I found out? The last half hour to 45 minutes of my walk, I started to feel great. My mind cleared. I felt the stress melt away. In a way I started to feel free. Now I get what people say about the “runner’s high." (Although I am nowhere near running). But the rush of endorphins? Totally get that. Now I find that my body needs it. Wants it. Looks forward to it. I even got up at 7:00 a.m. on a Sunday to go for my walk. If you know me, this is highly unusual because I like sleep. A lot. :)
So far, I have walked every day but one for the last 10 days, and I have logged 27 miles. 27 miles!!!! Dude. That’s a long way! I’m kind of proud of myself, and I intend on continuing with it. I’m not focusing on weight loss right now. I’m focusing on the stress relief it provides and how much stronger my body feels after engaging in it.
One other strategy I have been using to battle the negative feelings is to be more thankful for the things I do have. I know I have tried to do this in the past. I would do it for a few days or a few weeks and then I would forget. It’s not good to forget to be thankful. It makes you focus on only the bad and forget about the good.
It's all about perspective. I was focusing on all the stuff in my life that was going wrong and completely skipping over the stuff that was going right. Not a good attitude to have when you are working on changing your negative thinking.
The other day we were window shopping at B*orders(well o.k. not exactly window shopping, as we actually went inside the store, but we had no plans to buy anything-just look). While browsing I came across this book.