Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Things We Leave Behind

Sometimes I have a tendency to get all dark and twisty and  think about my mortality.

This month I have been contemplating it more because we recently went to a funeral.  Funerals tend to do that to me.

As I looked around at the hundreds of people who came to say their goodbyes to a wonderful man, I thought about what I might want my own funeral to be like.  Of course I do realize that I won't know one way or another.  But I think about it sometimes.  Where I would want it to be, what kind of music I would want played, who I  hope would would attend.

And then I think to myself "Man, this is kind of dark" and I think about something else.  :)

Today is my Mom's birthday.  She has been gone 13 years.  She would have been 76.

When I reminisce about my Mom, I remember some of the the things she left behind.

She left people behind.  Me.  My sister.   My brother.   My Dad.  Sister and Brother in laws and nieces.

She left behind photographs. Although not that many.  I'm not sure I even have a photograph of my Mom before the age of 16 or 17.  I think that's why I scrapbook.  I wanted to leave behind something for my kids.

She left behind things that she made.  Crafty things. Crocheted blankets.  Needlepoint.

Most importantly I think about  what she she left behind in me.

She left me her creativity and the joy of making things with my hands.  She left behind her love of all things Christmas, and the desire to celebrate it to its fullest.   She left behind the desire to do things for others, to bring happiness to other people in some small(or sometimes large) ways.  She left behind her love of children. She wanted nothing more than to have grandchildren.  I wish I could have given that to her.

I have to admit that I no longer think about my Mom or miss her every single day.  Time does that to you.

The sadness and grief eventually fade, until all you are left with are fond memories.

Special days will bring my Mom to the forefront of my mind for a period of time.

Mother's Day.


The day she died.

Today.  Her birthday.

The other day I was walking at the local park and I came across this bench.

As I got closer, I saw this plaque on it

This is the view from that bench.
I would like something like this after I die.  A place for people(any people-not just loved ones), to come and sit and be at peace.

The one thing that I would hope for after I'm gone is to be remembered. To know that I had an impact on at least one person's life and that they think of me fondly from time to time.

We remember you Mom.

Happy Birthday.

Today is also my sweet friend Kayce's birthday, along with her beautiful daughter.  Happy Birthday Kayce and Cricket!  I wish I could have been there to celebrate with you!


Stacey T. said...

Michelle, your mom sounded wonderful!! I can't imagine being without my mom. Big hugs to you today!!!

Kelli said...

Sounds like you had a great mom.

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Hugs to ya Michelle

Anonymous said...

Such a great post... I love how you remember certain things about your Mom.. It makes me think of the special things that my Dad left behind too... Thanks for sharing your emotions with us.

Jenna said...

I thought about your post a lot yesterday. I of course also lost my mom so when you talk about it, it brings my mom to mind.
I miss her most at Christmas too, her birthday is November 7th, she died November 29, and Christmas is just around the block from those dates. I love Christmas and I couldn't even celebrate it the year she died.
Anyways, thinking about the things you leave behind, my son is so much like my mom, he has her hands... they are exactly the same, he also has her smile, sweet spirit, and her cheeks. Most days I can't look at my son and not think of her.