I don't have much to report today. I made the appointment for our physicals. One more step forward in the adoption process. I'm still waiting on the letter from my work regarding health insurance for the baby. I will be calling them tomorrow to see where we stand. That is the last thing I need before sending my documents to INS. So far things are moving along pretty smoothly. We are shooting for late Feb/early March for the home-study. Joe's driver's license and birth certificates are in the mail, so we can get started on his passport soon. We'll be making an appointment for our taxes sometime this week. Our agency only calls for one year of tax records and we figured we should use our most current tax returns since we made more money in '05 than in '04. It will be nice to get it out of the way early too, instead of waiting until the last minute like we usually do. All in all I feel pretty good about how things are going. I think it helps that I had an amazing weekend. I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of my husband so I can serve him dinner. His new schedule sucks. At least it's only for the next 16 weeks. I'm sure it will fly by. It always does.

P.S. In case you were wondering, I have been almost pain free since my last period. I did have one nasty "episode" this weekend, but other than that I have been feeling very good. Maybe the surgery helped? Only time will tell.

Home from a great weekend

Sorry for the lack of posts. I've been away for the weekend. Some girlfriends and I spent the weekend at
the Pechanga Casino and Resort.
We had a blast! We played in the hotel/casino, and spent one whole day wine tasting. Temecula is beautiful! We slept in the R.V. park in my friend's motor-home, but someone else in our group had an awesome suite at the hotel, so most of our time was spent there. We spent our nights dancing and hanging out in the room. I had so much fun. It has been way too long since I spent a weekend with friends. To be honest, I can't even remember the last time I did, unless it was at my friend's bachelorette party, and that was seven years ago! I am so unaccustomed to partying like this that I had to come home and take a two hour nap! Now I am all rested and refreshed to start my work week tomorrow. It sure is good to get away now and then.

Paperchase blues

I'm starting to get why people refer to the paper-chase as nerve-racking. It's not all the forms you have to fill out. It's not the questions you have to answer, or the copying and faxing, or the phone calls(to the doctor, the adoption agency every 10 minutes, etc.) No, it's not any of those things, because I am totally cool with all of the above. What's driving me crazy is the WAITING and DEPENDING on other people to do things for you so you can move forward. I am a pretty independent person. I like to do things myself. I can be very organized(when I choose to be), and I get things done. I don't like to ask other people for help. So it is totally bugging me that I HAVE to ask other people to do things for me in this process, and I can't do anything about how or when they complete them. For instance, I called our doctor's office to make an appointment for our physicals. I told her I also would be needing the doc to fill out a couple of forms. So the receptionist tells me she would like me to fax over the forms so my doctor can have a look at them, and then they will call me to set up an appt. Fine. I faxed the forms that day. Well that was almost six days ago, and still no phone call to set up an appt. So now I have to call them again tomorrow and insist that they give me an appointment. Like I don't have enough to do. I also have to have the accounting office at my job type a letter stating when an adopted child would be covered under my health insurance(there is no paragraph in my handbook that states this). That is the only document I need before I send my packet to the INS to get our fingerprint appt. In her defense, I only asked for it yesterday, but I want. it. right. now. My goal was to get this paperwork out at the latest Friday. It is going to make me crazy if this one piece of paper makes me wait until next week. Crazy I tell you! And don't even get me started on the reference letters. I am going to try very hard not to harass the people I asked to write them. Try. Very. Hard. But I can't guarantee anything! So let me apologize in advance if I seem a little cranky or short with you. It isn't intentional. I'm in the process of learning a lesson in patience, and I am not enjoying it one bit.

I swore I wasn't going to do this

When we started this process, I told myself I wouldn't get caught up in the whole ladybug craze. It seemed so kitchy, and I hate to do things that "everyone else is doing". I was doing pretty well, too. I had seen a few cute ladybug items, but I hadn't purchased any. Well, recently I started looking around and I noticed that some ladybug stuff has started to sneak into my house! I think it all started with this:







I bought it at the Harvest Festival, because I thought it was cute, and my kitchen is done in a garden theme anyway, so it fit right in. Besides, our old paper-towel holder had broken, and we needed a new one. Well my Dad bought me this to go with it. It's only a teeny little magnet. What's the harm in that? A few weeks later, I allowed myself to venture into Pottery Barn Kids(which I had never allowed myself to do before), and I found these. They are appliqué's that you stick on the bottom of your tub so you(or your child) won't slip. Again, they're functional, so that's how I justified them. I wandered around in that store forever, looking at all the bedroom "themes" and cute stuff, when I stumbled upon this. The baby's going to need a night-light, right? And I just thought it was so cute! And we had already decided that the baby's room would have somewhat of a garden theme, and ladybugs live in gardens, right? They also had bath rugs and towels to match, but I am proud to say I did not buy those!(Yet:)! And finally, I was getting all of the baby stuff together and I found these. They're booties that will probably be too small, and my boss bought them for me, and I certainly don't have control over what other people buy me! I promise those will be the last ladybug items I will buy.(Until I see something else that is just so cute that I MUST have it!)

Adoption paperwork

I have just finished filling out stacks of paperwork from the adoption agency. My eyes are watery and red and my hand is cramped, but the good news is, I can mail out a lot of it tomorrow. Joe's birth certificate should be here in a week, so we can get his passport soon after that. I have most of the paperwork completed in order to get our home-study started. Joe and I are going to work on the personal history questions tomorrow. It helps to have a writer in the family! I will be making an appointment for our physicals on Wednesday, and we'll be going in to get live scanned sometime next week, after Joe's driver's license comes in the mail(he lost his a month ago). It is so dumb that we have to have the live-scan prints done again, as both Joe and I had them done in August for our jobs. What a waste of time and money. Oh well, I'm sure it is just one of many inconvenient tasks we will be required to do during this wonderful process called adoption. Things seem to be moving along smoothly. I want to get our dossier in order as soon as possible so the chances of going to China with Lisa and Scott are better. They only have to have an updated home-study, unlike us. If things don't work out right and we aren't able to go together, that's fine. I just really think it would be neat to become a mom and an aunt again at the same time.

I found this scripture on another site and it spoke to me: Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. Isaiah 45:5.

I found out today that I am going to be an aunt again! Yay! And they're going to China again. Double Yay! I just hope we can get it together enough so we can both travel together. That would be so cool! We're calling the agency tomorrow to set up our home study, so we'll be pretty busy for the next month or so. I've been doing a lot of cleaning up around here. It's starting to look like I may not even need to hire someone to clean. I'm getting it all done myself. We still have a bunch of junk to get rid of out of the extra room, and I still have some clutter to get rid of, but other than that I'd say we were ready. It is so exciting! Joe just brought me a Chinese New Year bouquet of flowers. He is so sweet. It's funny, because I got him a card and a little present, but I wasn't going to give it to him until Friday(that's when Chinese New Year actually is, right? The 31st?). Anyway, things are really starting to roll right along. I couldn't be happier. And I love reading the blogs of other people who are getting ready to get their referrals. It gives me such hope that this process will go quickly and in the end we will have a beautiful daughter. Life is good.

Another reason my husband is the best

Sorry these are all behind by a couple of weeks. I've been too busy. Anyway, this is what I came home to a couple of weeks a go when I was in so much pain and having a rotten day.....
Am I lucky, or what?

Belated Birthday Present pictures

I had forgotten that I promised to post pictures of the wonderful birthday present my husband had waiting fo rme when I came home from dinner with my IF group. So here they are....
I think he must have bought Bath and Body Works out! There were so many goodies in that box!

My niece is adorable

I just realized I hadn't posted a companion post for "My nephew is adorable". I don't want you to think I am showing favoritism. Of course my niece is adorable too! Here's proof:

Date Night

Tonight Joe and I had a much needed date night. I know what you are thinking. People who don't have kids don't need a date night. They can go out whenever they want. While this may be true, the reality is that we don't go out. We rarely go out to dinner, and we almost never go to the movies at night. We always end up at the matinee, during the week or on Sunday, because it's cheaper and not so crowded. In fact, we very rarely leave the house after dark! We're pretty boring. So anyway, I thought it was about time we change our hermit status and see how the other half lives. Tonight's date night even had a theme! First we went to dinner at a Sushi place Joe has been wanting to try, then we went to see Memoirs of a Giesha. The sushi was excellent, and the movie was too. We had a great time and have vowed to do it at least once a month. I figure we should try and get out as much as possible in the next year or so, because according to my sister, once we have kids we won't get out very much, just the two of us!

Tagged

O.K., I've been tagged by my sister. The first thing I thought was "Oh great, I never know how to answer these things." But then I decided that anything that took this blog away from the depressing talk of yesterday was a good thing! So here goes....
I've been tagged!


What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was enjoying married life for the third year. I was working two jobs and going to school(I still have one of those jobs!) If I remember correctly, my Mom's health was deteriorating at that time, so I was trying to spend a lot of time with her.
What were you doing one year ago?
Still trying to have a baby, but other than that, same old same old. Same job, same address. I was very excited about the arrival of my new niece though.

Five Snacks I enjoy:
Anything chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Sour cream and onion potato chips
Did I mention chocolate?

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire:
Buy a house
Adopt a bunch of children, from all over the world
Donate to my church
Open a quality preschool/childcare center
Travel more

Five bad habits:
I wrap my towel around my head after I shower, then I leave the towel wherever I may be: on the couch, on the floor, hanging on the computer chair, etc.
I forget to return phone calls and e-mails. I think about calling/sending them so much that sometimes I start to believe I already did it!
I nag my husband
I put others before myself-sometimes a good things, other times not so much
I can be very hard on myself

Five things I enjoy doing:
Scrapbooking
Making jewelry
Spending time with my hubby just hangin' out
Reading
Watching T.V.-only when I'm with my husband. Sometimes we tape a week's worth of shows on our D.V.R. and then spend all Friday night just catching up on our shows

Five things I would never wear, buy, or get new again:
Thong underwear
An expensive, designer purse. I seem to be the only person at work who is NOT obsessed with collecting overpriced designer handbags.
A huge SUV
Expensive sunglasses. I have lost and/or broken every pair I own so now I only buy cheap ones at Target.
I can't think of anything else right now.


Five favorite toys/games
My new cell phone with Itunes
Handheld Yahtzee game
My new portable DVD player
Digital camera
I can't really tag anyone else, as the only other blogs I read are people who don't know me. I "lurk" a lot.

Bad news from the doctor

Today I had a follow up visit with the doctor that performed my surgery in December. If you remember, I had that surgery to help relieve me of the extreme pain I deal with every month due to the endometriosis. They were supposed to cut the nerves inside my pelvis, as well as clean out any endo they found. On our last visit the doc informed me things didn't go exactly as planned. I was a mess inside, and they weren't able to get as many nerves as we had hoped. He did say that he thought he got a few, and hopefully I would be feeling some relief. Despite those encouraging words, this month's cycle wound up being one of my worst ever. I had terrible pain and spent three whole days in bed completely doped up on Percocet. I'm finally feeling better now that I've finally started my period. So today is the first time I've been able to talk to the doctor since two days after the surgery. This is how the visit went:

The doctor walks into the room and tells me he heard that I had a very bad cycle this month(I had called his office and talked to the nurse after the third day of extreme pain). He tells me he's sorry I've had such a hard time.

What the Doctor actually said: "We got the results back from the lab, and all of the tissue we cut out tested negative for nerve tissue." In other words, they didn't get any nerves at all. None. Zero. Nada. Zilch.

What I heard: That surgery was a complete waste of our time. We didn't accomplish anything.

What he said: "We could try and go back in and see if we can get a better look."

What I heard: This pain will never go away. To control it, you must have risky, painful surgeries at least once a year.

What he said: "We have to decide what you want to do from here. You could go on birth control to try and control the pain."

What I heard:: There is no way that you will ever be able to become pregnant(ever), so you may as well just give up now.

What he said: "Let's give it a couple more cycles to see if you get any relief. Maybe that last cycle wasn't representative of future cycles."

What I heard: Why don't you just spend another couple of months in complete and total agony and see how you feel after that?

What he said(after that last comment didn't sit well with me) "Try these two pain killers together and see if they bring you any relief."

What I heard: Here are two prescriptions for drugs your insurance company won't cover, so you can pay a ton of money you don't have and spend two weeks out of every month in a drug induced haze.

What he said:"If worst comes to worst we may have to go back in and take everything out."

What I heard:There is really nothing more we can do for you. In addition to all of the pain and torture you have been through, you will probably have to have all of your womanly parts removed from your body at the age of thirty five and spend the rest of your life on Hormone Replacement Therapy, which puts you at risk for a myriad of other bad things which we won't get into now.

So I left the office in tears, and I feel them welling up as I type this. I'm at the end of my rope. There's nowhere to go but up from here. Right?

Beautiful San Francisco

I took these while we were up in S.F. over Christmas. I finally got around to uploading my pictures. All 176 of them! I'll post more later. I'm not even sure where these were taken. We took a drive one evening while babysitting just to get out of the house and ended up here. It was so beautiful.

My nephew is adorable

This is one of the few pictures I got of Cameron when he wasn't making a silly face or his "Batman" face(which looks like a frown, but is supposed to look serious). He sure is cute, if I do say so myself.

Boring day

Kind of a non-eventful day today. We have actually been doing a lot of serious house cleaning, so at least it's been productive. I filled out a bunch of adoption paperwork, and I will be sending it on Tuesday. I will be calling to make our appointment for our physicals then too. We're finally going to get things rolling. I'm having a real problem with finding three references though. They can't be relatives or my employer. I don't have that many friends(that sounds sad, but its true). I guess I could choose someone that I work with and write the letter myself. I don't trust anybody there to write a coherent letter for me. Our next big task is going to be to clean out the extra bedroom. Boy is there a lot of junk in there! I better get back to work.

It's possible our neighbor is NOT a serial killer

O.K., so this morning I nonchalantly took a little walk past the neighbor's house to see if I could determine why he was using a rotary saw at 10:00 p.m. last night. It appears that he actually WAS building shelves. For his daughter's room. I'm willing to admit that it's possible he isn't a serial killer. But I'm still going to keep a close eye on him, because in this crazy world, ANYTHING can happen, and hey, I truly haven't seen his wife in a while! In other news, my sister and I signed up for the
Scrapbook Expo next month at the Orange County Fairgrounds. I'm sooo excited! I haven't done much scrap-booking lately, as I have been totally obsessed with beading as of late. She's coming without the kids too, so we can party, party, party! (HA! We'll still be in bed by 10:00 I'm sure). I can't wait.

I was about to go to bed a few minutes ago when I heard the strangest noise. It was a loud, high pitched buzzing sound. After listening closer, it was determined(by Joe) that it was a rotary saw. The noise sounded very close by, like it was right out in front of our apartment. Keep in mind that it is almost ten o clock at night right now. So we talk about how strange it is to hear that sound so late at night, then dismiss it and I go into the other room to change into my P.J.'s. While I'm changing, something that I either heard on the news or read in the paper comes to mind. So I come flying out of the bedroom to share it with Joe. It was reported that apparently Jeffrey Dahmer's neighbors heard the same noise coming from his apartment at odd hours of the night. They later said they just thought he was building/installing shelves. At one and two in the morning? After further investigation I discovered the noise was indeed a rotary saw and it was coming from the neighbors right next door to us. So now I'm convinced our next door neighbor is a serial killer. Joe thinks I am crazy. These particular neighbors hate us, so now I will be on my best behavior when I see him. Come to think of it, I haven't seen his wife in quite some time. Man, do I have an overactive imagination or what? I better get to bed before I decide to call the police!

I just happened to glance over at my profile and noticed two things. First, could the picture of us BE any bigger? Other people's profile pics aren't that big. I'm going to have to change that. And second, the first line says I am 34 years old. Since I turned 35 seven days ago today, I really should change that too. But I don't want to. So I'm not gonna. At least not for now.
I need to stay in denial, at least for a little while longer. I'm still not ready to be 35, especially in writing. In fact, maybe I'll take the age out completely, then nobody will know how old I am at all! Yeah, that's a great idea! As soon as I finish the two thousand other things I have to do, I'l get around to that. Maybe :) We're getting ready to go full steam ahead on the adoption paperwork. The goal is to have our home-study done in the next month or so. Probably more realistically two months. My job is to be as organized about this process as possible, and Joe's job is going to be to keep my head from exploding due to stress. Don't worry. He is very good at this and has been doing it for years. We're supposed to go to a seminar at my school tonight, but I'm thinking we probably won't make it. I have a headache and am having a lot of cramping and don't feel up to it. It would be different if it was down the street, but it's a half an hour away, right during rush hour traffic. I wish I lived closer to where I worked. It would make things much simpler.

I'm feeling much better today. I usually feel pretty good right before I start. It's strange because I could have sworn I started last week, but it turned out to be only spotting, which I almost never have. I know, too much information. I see the gastroenterologist tomorrow. He's going to change the medication that I am taking to treat the IBS. I'm not sure the one I'm using is working effectively. I'm going to pretend the pain I was having this weekend was due to the surgery and try to look ahead toward the future. This surgery worked for me. I know it did. If anything, it will give me some relief, as most of the pain I was having this weekend was not as intense as before. I have to think positively. I may have had a touch of the flu too, as I was extremely achy and feverish and don't feel that way now. I came home from work today and cleaned the house. Really cleaned it. I even cleaned out the entire fridge. It was gross. I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday(I was home sick O.K.?) and one of his guests had a serious organization/clutter problem. I totally related. That's one of our biggest problems.(Clutter). That's going to be my New Year's resolution this year. To get more organized. Notice I said "more" organized. It would be too overwhelming for me to say "Completely organized" Oh, and to finish the adoption paperwork and become DTC . That's going to be a big one. Joe is calling the adoption agency tomorrow. I need for this process to be a shared experience and I think it would be good for him to talk to someone so he feels as stressed out as I do is as knowledgeable as I am about the process. Well, gotta go. We have a bunch of shows on the DVR to catch up on. I don't know how we ever lived without this thing! (Yeah, we can be T.V. junkies sometimes. We're just waiting for a child to take up all of our attention so we're too tired to ever watch anything again. I can hardly wait!)