Monday, September 08, 2008

Uncertainties

I have been up all night for the last two nights. Plagued by worry and anxiety. This adoption ride has been such a roller coaster. The ups and downs that at times have me feeling like I am going crazy.


 

Every time I think we have something worked out and we have nothing to worry about, something else pops up and the fear and anxiety start anew.


 

I have been e-mailing my home study agency over the last four days, trying to figure out what we need to get this paperwork renewal nightmare on the road.


 

Last night I received an e-mail from them that made my blood run cold. I had asked them a specific question relating to the new paperwork we have to fill out and the new requirements that this paperwork includes.


 

Up until this point we were told that we would be "grandfathered" in under the old requirements that China had set forth for adoptive parents prior to May, 2007.


 

The e-mail I received yesterday basically stated that because we let our paperwork expire(the I600A) and now have to fill out the new form(I800A), there is no guarantee that we will still be grandfathered in under the old rules.


 

This poses a problem for us because we do not meet the new requirements that China set forth in May of 2007.


 

In the e-mail our agency stated that it was "unclear" as to whether or not be could continue with this adoption. They don't know when they will know for sure, as this issue is still being discussed at the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services offices.


 

I have been scouring the internet all weekend, trying to find out more information but have not been able to find out anything conclusive.


 

Our China-only placing agency seems to think that there will be no problem.


 

But they are not the ones we are submitting our updated paperwork to. It is our home study agency. And they are the ones saying things are unclear.


 

Right now we are being advised to go ahead with the update, turn in our updated paperwork and file the new I800A and wait and see what happens. We will not receive any of the money that we spent back if it turns out we cannot go forward.


 

I feel strangely calm about the whole situation. Don't get me wrong. Yesterday I had a complete and total meltdown over it.


 

But today I feel strangely calm.


 

Last night I did a lot of praying. I think I need to stick with my original plan of giving it over to God. Worrying is not going to change the outcome. And it isn't good for my health.


 

We will do everything we have to do to see this adoption through to the end. We have been through too much and come too far to walk away. I'm not even certain how you go about doing that anyway. How do you give up hope that the dream you have been chasing for the last 7 years may not come true?


 

How do you let go of a child that you have named, loved, and prepared for over the course of three years?

I just don't know.

And to be honest, I'm not ready to even think about it yet.


 

We will stay the course. We will update our paperwork and wait and see what happens. And I will pray. Every single day that everything turns out alright and that one day we will hold Sophie in our arms.


 

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. ~John 14:27~


 

"Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks." Philippians 4:6

12 comments:

OH MY #6 said...

Hi Michelle,

are thing different in the US than here? We do not meet the requirement after May 07 either but we are renewing no problem.

Lea
xo

3D said...

Reading that made my tummy jump. Fingers crossed and hugs.

Keep smilin!

DAD said...

Michelle

How can I help???
The prayer circle is going strong so give it to GOD and let go. He will work out everything but we need to do all we can and have the future hope with the faith that we also have.
Call me.
DAD

Tracy said...

First I am SO SORRY you are even having to worry about this. I am very far removed from the new rules/regs, but I thought that was a China rule and why would your new paperwork have anything to do with it? When we did our adoption for Amelia we needed an updated homestudy (because we moved), but it never even went to China-we hand carried it with us. So if that is still true then it won't even go with your dossier-they will just have it as proof that it's done if you need it.

If our gov. denies because they get to interpret the rules/regs then that will be just one more injustice that has been going on. It's not (IMO) up to OUR gov. if you can or can not adopt (other than you are not a criminal and your background check comes back normal). It should be upto CHINA to decide who meets their criteria and if you still qualify!!

I will be thinking of you and I hope your agency is the one that is correct. Your homestudy office is probably just guessing at things. Have you posted your question to Rumor Queen? I bet someone on there knows the answer

Good Luck!!

Special K said...

Don't give up yet. From everything I've read we're fine. And I've read a lot because my OTHER agency isn't Hague accredited which caused me worry. We're grandfathered as far as China is concerned. Our own government can't interpret this the way they want to.

You might have to fight with USCIS but don't give up. It'll all work out. This is just another bump in the road. But it's NOT over.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Michelle - With everything I've read, USCIS rules apply only with USCIS. If you meet THEIR requirements, then you are fine, no matter how you fall under China's new rules. Praying for peace for y'all regardless.

OH MY #6 said...

Michelle,

the way we understand it is. Your file is still in China. That doesn't change. The renewing of the paperwork is solely for your government regulations. You need permission to bring this child in to your country. The renewing has nothing to do with China. And, it should not mater if you have expired as you don't have a referral. As long as you have it done when you bring her in to the country.

Lisa said...

Michelle,

My hs agency is saying there should be no worry in filing the new paperwork. Hang in there and know that I am here for you to vent!

Pam and Jeff said...

Hey!! We are right there with you. Your scenario is the same as outs. There is a Joint Council meeting next week in Washington that is suppose to come up with some sort of resolution. All we can do is hold on to faith.

Kylie's momma said...

Hi Michelle, I would have to agree that your agency should know what will and will not work in China NOT the HS agency. Can't your adoption agency contact the HS agency and let them talk it out? Sending you all the good vibes I can muster your way! I'm glad you're at peace and it is what it will be....hugs!!!!!!

Michele said...

I have no words, only prayers and positive thoughts that there won't be any problems.

Michele

Courtney said...

We are in the exact same boat as you guys. We let our paperwork expire and now have to fill out the I-800A and no longer meet China's new requirements. GWCA says we will be OK and just to fill out the paperwork, include a copy of our prior approval and in the Homestudy state that we passed China's review process and are currently pending referal. I am sure it will all work out. ALOT of people are in the same situation, especially since we were told to let our paperwork expire since renewing it would still cost money, and we would end up having to file the I-800A once our second I-171 expired. It will work out. It has to be worked out!!!
Courtney
LID 11-13-06
www.blaineandchloe.blogspot.com