Sunday, March 08, 2009

I can't even think of titles anymore

I noticed that I stopped putting titles on these here posts. Every time I come here to write something I try to think of a good title, but my mind goes blank and then I don't have the energy and low and behold, the post goes title-less(I don't even know if that is a word).

This morning I woke up full of ambition and determined to actually get something done, instead of the laying around, feeling blah, do nothingness that has been going on here for over 3 weeks now.

I got out of bed and hopped in the shower. Not 3 minutes into the shower I noticed the bathroom lights started blinking. Hmmmmm..........that's strange. Why are the lights blinking? Thirty seconds later I realize it isn't the bathroom lights, it's an aura.

What?! NO! It can't be another migraine. It can't be! I didn't even know it was possible to have them one right on top of the other like that. Even when I used to have them years ago I never, ever had them with this frequency. (Now I know for sure the nausea yesterday was due to a migraine, even if I didn't have an aura then)

Being determined(and stupid), I decided there was no way I was going to let this migraine interfere with my plans for the day, so I dried off, got dressed, and plodded into the kitchen to make pancakes and hash browns as planned.

Ummmmm.............chopping up potatoes while you are having an aura? Not a good idea. Not a good idea at all. I am now sporting two band aids on my fingers and I'm very lucky that I didn't lose one(or more) fingers completely.

Desperately wanting to stop the headache before the pain began(I never have any pain with these until the aura has passed-about 20 minutes), I grabbed the first thing I could find out of the medicine cabinet and that was my husband's prescription strength Nap.roxen and 2 regular Tylenol.

And you know what? It totally worked! The aura went away and instead of the usual blinding pain on one side or the back of my head, there was only a dull pounding. I'll take it!

Here's the only catch: I promised my kidney doctor I would never, ever take Nap.roxen(or any other NSAIDS) again. They are extremely hard on your kidneys. Back when I used to have severe pain every month from Stage IV Endometriosis, I took them like candy(although this is NOT what caused my kidney disease-it is an autoimmune disease).

Since I was diagnosed with the kidney disease(2 and a half years ago), I haven't touched even one drop of Nap.roxen or any other NSAIDS. My kidney doctor scared me sufficiently enough that I didn't dare touch them. Seriously. I thought he was going to make me pinky swear never to take them again the day I sat in his office and he was explaining the dangers of them(to people with kidney disease)

I'm not even sure what made me break that promise this morning, aside from pure desperation. I simply can't live with these migraines. Even the endo didn't cause debilitating pain like these suckers do. At least back then I could always get into a warm tub to relieve the cramping.

I haven't found anything that helps these headaches. Nothing. Except for the Nap.roxen. Oh, the irony.

So tomorrow, first thing in the morning I will be on the phone to my nephrologist to get the first appointment he has available. Because I simply can't live with these migraines. I am beginning to think there is something wrong, with the suddenness of which they came on and the frequency with which I am having them.

I got nothing else done today, aside from making breakfast. I still have that dull aching pain on one side of my head and a slight feeling of nausea.

P.S. I'm sorry if these posts are all starting to sound whiny and much the same. Perhaps I should change the name of the blog to "The Migraine Chronicles". I never have been good at keeping a written journal and these posts serve as a good reminder of when I actually had one of them and the severity of each so that I am able to answer questions about them at the doctor's when they ask.

P.P.S. I just looked at the clock and I can't believe how late it is already. How come it seems like the day went by so fast if we really only lost one hour?


Marla said...

I'm so sorry for all that you're going through, Michelle! You will be in my prayers. {hugs}

Jonni said...


I am sorry to hear about the terrible migraines. I have a girlfriend who gets them as well and they are just terrible. Hope you feel better and back to your old self soon.


Rosie said...

Don't worry ,I like to hear how you feel,I feel like crap emotionally at the moment,perfectly normal in what we are all going through!

OH MY #6 said...

Migraines are horrible. I hope you get an appointment soon.

Take care my friend.


Anonymous said...

You are in a tough spot. I get it. You need to function and yet the meds may make that hard to do for other reasons. Talk with the doc. I am sure he/she has dealt with this before. Hang in there.

Kayce said...

I've only had a few migraines before and they are awful! I'm sorry Michelle you are having to deal with this!! You're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I found your site from Cyndi's. (Waiting for Alicyn Shea) Any way I'm a chronic sufferer of the horrid migraine diagnosed at age 5. I've been through every med on the planet but Imitrex makes a great medication. No I'm not getting a stipend from them. They have an oral, nasal and injectable. Plus they have a generic version made by the same company. This injectable medication seems to be the only one to work outside going to the ER when I'm in a full blown migraine meltdown. If anyone could write a "migraine blog" I would try :) Good luck on your adoption journey and in migraine Hell!!
Oh and it is possible to have migraine on top of migraine, I had them last for 6 weeks. Weekly at the ER, go figure...stress sucks.