Today Started Out Pretty Good.........

And then things started going downhill fast.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning so I had to get up early.

I got up, showered, dressed and got ready to go. I came out of the bedroom and Joe said "Your doctor's office just called. Dr. so-and-so had to go deliver a baby so they need to reschedule your appointment".

Well darn. I already had to reschedule it twice because of my own issues so this is the third time it has been put off. I'll never get my annual exam done at this rate.

Since we were up early we decided to head on over to Disneyland to check out all of the Fall decorations. We haven't been since June and we love their Fall setup. Plus my annual pass is going to expire in a few weeks and it is unlikely that we will be able to renew it. Sadness.

I wasn't feeling that great. I actually haven't been feeling well for almost a week now. I didn't mention to anyone because Dude, there is always something wrong with me and I don't want to be a complainer. Even though I totally am most of the time. This? I didn't want to complain about. I don't know why :)

Well, come to think of it, I told my Dad when I saw him on Saturday that I hadn't been eating because I had been feeling nauseous and my co-worker DeAnn knows I have been having some stomach issues because we work side by side and it's kind of hard to hide something like that :) So it's not like I didn't tell anyone. This will be a plot point later.

But I will admit that I didn't tell Joe at all. He knows I have had some issues with nausea over the last few days and I haven't been eating much but that's about it.

Because I am trying not to be so much of a complainer.

So off we went to Disneyland. It was a little hotter than I thought it was going to be and I started feeling kind of yucky. We thought it was because I was too hot(with the kidney disease I have found I don't tolerate heat well at all).

I drank some Gatorade and we took lots of breaks and I was feeling O.K. Not great. But O.K.

We went on a couple of rides and saw quite a few characters. Took lots of pictures.

Suddenly I started feeling extremely nauseous. Out of nowhere. It was bad. I went into the bathroom for a long time.

I was sitting on the bathroom floor in the stall vomiting and I couldn't stop. Have you ever sat on the bathroom floor at D-Land? I don't recommend it. It's gross.

Joe got worried and sent someone in there to check on me( a complete stranger no less). I could not stop throwing up. I don't even know why, because I haven't even been eating anything due to the nausea. A lot of dry heaving. But I couldn't stop.

Finally I was able to leave the bathroom and of course we left right then. I couldn't even get all the way to the car. Joe had to leave me on a bench and go get the car and come pick me up.

It just got worse from there. Severe stomach cramps, dry heaving and nausea.

Joe called my kidney doctor from the car. He told us to go to either the E.R. or the urgent care immediately.

I hate the E.R. with a passion, and the urgent care was on our way home so we stopped there. I was a mess by then. I was in so much pain(abdominal) and feeling so nauseous.

It turns out I have an intestinal infection and am extremely dehydrated. So much so that the doctor said if I had waited even one more day I would have had to have I.V. fluids.

He sent me away with 6 prescriptions meds(1 pain med, 2 antibiotics, an anti nausea, and 1 anti-diarrheal) and a firm promise that I would drink lots and lots of fluids.

Lots. Of. Fluids. Like I may float away after I drink all of the fluids he made me promise to drink.

So now I am in bed and feeling yucky. And tired.

Also? Apparently when you have a compromised immune system telling your husband or a doctor, or even the internets that you have been feeling crummy for almost a week is not complaining.

It's called taking care of yourself.

Who knew?


I took a TON of pictures today but I'll post them tomorrow because I am so tired right now.

3 Word Sunday

For an explanation of 3 Word Sunday and to watch the video, go here.

35 Months

This sums up how I've been feeling about this journey lately. A little beaten and scarred.


Oh well. 35 done.

Next month I am going to have a huge celebration for our 3 year mark. Put it on your calendars!!!

Can you sense the sarcasm here?

But seriously, I am planning on giving something away next month. Because anyone who has followed along on this journey for 36 months deserves a prize :)

Thankful Thursday

I'm having a hard time with this one today.

It has been a tough week.

Here goes anyway:

I am thankful for my sister. She sent me the most beautiful necklace in the mail and it came yesterday at a time when I was at the lowest point I have been in a very long time.

I am thankful for our couple's counselor. We(I) had a rough start with her but over time we have found our groove and I honestly don't know where we would be without her.

I am thankful for friends that I can send e-mails to pouring out all of my fears and frustrations and they respond in a kind, caring manner with no judgements. You know who you are. Thank you.

That's all I got right now.

Here is a quote I found that helped me out of a dark place yesterday:

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

~Harriet Beecher Stowe

Wordless Wednesday

Three Word Sunday

For an explanation of 3 word Sunday or to watch the weekly video, go here.

I have two pictures this week. The first one was pretty easy. Of course the highlight of my week was seeing James Taylor in concert. What a great time we had.


Here are my other three words for the week:



I have been feeling utterly exhausted all week long. Emotionally and physically drained. It doesn't help that I haven't been sleeping. Even with the A m b i e n. I am only getting about 4-5 hours a night.

Thankful Thursday

--I am thankful we got to spend the weekend with my niece and nephew.

--I am thankful that my sister's puppy is O.K.. He became very sick on Monday and they suspected he might have Parvo. That can be deadly for puppies. Turned out to be something he ate(which is not surprising, since he eats everything, whether it is food or not)

--I am thankful no on was hurt in the accident I got into with Lisa's car.

--I am thankful we got to go see James Taylor in concert Tuesday and it was fabulous. It was one of the best concerts he has done(and we have seen 12!) Love him.

--I am thankful that today is Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday. I have been extra tired this week.

What are you thankful for?

Three Word Sunday

This has been a jam packed weekend so I have three pictures this week. The good, the bad and the ugly. Let's start with the good, shall we?

The Good:

Saturday I got to go out to dinner with M3 and Kayce. Good food, good conversation and great fun. 4 hours flew by in the blink of an eye. I am so lucky to know these wonderful women. Thanks for much for a great evening! Kayce is very very close to her referral and I am so excited for her!


More Good:

Of course if I had dinner with those two it means we spent the weekend in Northern CA. Joe and I watched the kids while Lisa and Scott got away for the weekend. Joe watched them on Saturday night so I could go out with my friends. The man is a saint.

Here's The Bad and the Ugly:





Unfortunately I was in a minor car accident with my sister's minivan. I'm too tired to go into in now but nobody was hurt and Lisa's car got the brunt of the damage. I feel so dumb and embarrassed about it. I haven't been in any kind of car accident(or even a fender bender) in over 15 years. Joe said I was about due. :(


Edited: Of course I realized after I posted the last 3 word pic about the car said "wrecked my sister's minivan", and of course I can count and realized it was actually four words and not three. That's just the kind of day I have had. All fixed now (Duh)*********

9/11

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We are getting on a airplane today. We have never flown on 9/11 before. Somehow it seems disrespectful almost, like no planes should be flying on this horrible day.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit nervous.

But I'm sure it will be fine.

Hug your loved ones today. There are many many people who can't because of this day 8 years ago.

Thankful Thursday

--I am thankful that the new shows are starting up again for Fall.
I love "S o Y o u T h i n k Y o u C a n D a n c e" and "G l e e", and they were both on last night. Woo!

--I am thankful we get to get away this weekend, and I even get to meet up with some bloggy friend for dinner. Although at this point I call them just "friends" :)

--I am thankful that I got almost 2 hours alone in our place yesterday while my husband went to an appointment and ran some errands. Sometimes you just need some time to yourself. He gets that while I am at work. I don't. I miss it.

--I'm thankful that it is Thursday already. Short weeks rock.

What are you thankful for?

New Doctor

Today Joe and I interviewed a new primary care physician for myself.

I say "interviewed" because I plan on visiting several and then choosing the best one.

No more going to the first doctor on the Blu@ Cr@ss website and then enduring their crappy care because I am afraid to switch to someone else.

Nope. Not anymore. Once I found my wonderful, amazing, caring nephrologist(kidney dr), I realized that good doctors DO exist and doggon it, I deserve them!

I pay $1300.00 a year out of pocket to have this insurance and I'm sick of the subpar treatment I have gotten from doctors in the past.

I have not had a primary care physician for at least 2 years now. I stopped seeing my last one because he was an A**. (With a "hole" on the end)

When I got sick I was going to the urgent care, where they mostly just threw antibiotics at me, whether I needed them or not.

Then a year ago I started seeing my new nephrologist and my life was never the same. Oh how I love you, Dr. Ho. (Dreamy sigh).

Anyway, last month at my check up he asked me if I had a primary care physician. I told him "No". He said that I was more than welcome to come and see him if I had a problem and he did love seeing me(did I mention I love him? No? Well I love him) but he recommended that I also have a primary care doctor "just in case". Then he recommended one to me.

So today I went to check him out. And of course I made Joe go with me.

I had the first appointment of the day so I only had to wait like 5 minutes in the waiting room before they took me back. Score!

After the usual taking of blood pressure and weighing in(yay!), the nurse left and said the Dr. would be right in.

And come right in he did.

He introduced himself and we started going over the health history form I had filled out. My but I do have a lot of health problems.

Anyway, things were going along swimmingly until we got to the "female" part of the form.

My very favorite part of my medical history(insert eye roll here).

Up to this point he was being attentive, and asking lots of questions and really listening to what I had to say. I was very impressed so far.

Then we started going over my gynecological history. (I couldn't spell that for the life of me. Totally had to look it up).

So we are going over all of my surgeries, and ER visits(for the endometriosis and burst cysts on my ovaries).

Then he asks the million dollar question:

"Do you have kids?"

I was in no mood to go into all of that so I simply state:

"Nope" (moving on)

He looks at my chart, at the fourth surgery that states :"Hysterectomy" and this was his reply:

"Well you can forget that now. With the hysterectomy you will never have any children of your own."

Insert needle screeching across record player here.

I was stunned into silence. (This is no easy feat for me. Trust me).

I looked over at Joe with a look of disbelief as if to say "Did he just SAY that"?

Oh no he didn't.

But Joe had a similar look on his face and he dropped his head to his chest and rolled his eyes and let out a huge sigh and then I knew that he did in fact actually say that.

Dude. Seriously???

Way to be sensitive about a delicate issue like infertility.

And also?

DUH.

I am well aware that I can't have any biological children. It's sort of one of the side effects of having a hysterectomy. I don't need you to tell me that. Were you under the impression that I didn't know??

Sheesh.

I just had to get that off of my chest. In the end he was very thorough and spent almost a hour with me and I think I might keep him.

I'm willing to overlook one stupid comment if he is a good doctor and he actually listens to me.
I mean nobody's perfect. Right?

I might still go see the other one on my list just to check them out.


Oh and the Staph infection on my ear is back. Lucky, lucky me! And man is it painful. He has no idea why I keep getting these and neither do I. Sucks. More antibiotics for me.


One last thing.


Dear Dr. Siu,

Here's something I didn't get a chance to tell you:

My husband and I are adopting a baby from China and she will be just as much our own child as one that we conceived in my (useless) womb.

Thanks and have a nice day.

3 Word Sunday

We have done nothing this weekend. That's a good thing. I rented a bunch of movies from
R E D B O X(love that they are $1.00!) and we have just been hanging around the house.

Next weekend is going to be a whirlwind so it's probably good that we are hanging low this weekend.

Yesterday my Dad and I went to T o y s R U s to pick up a birthday present for Gracie. I was a little bit disappointed in their selection of girl stuff actually. If your child isn't into B r a t z(Lisa would kill me), or baby dolls, or makeup(tons of makeup kits), there isn't a lot to choose from.

I felt that even their B a r b i e selection was lacking. They only had a choice of either the white
B a r b i e or the black B a r b i e. I didn't t even care if the skin was white but I was looking for one with straight black hair. No dice.

We also saw this doll while we were there:


I'm sorry, but does this seem wrong to you?

This doll's thighs would have given me anxiety as a child(or at the very least pre-teen), and I was a stick.

When are toy makers going to start making diverse toys that represent our population that have realistic bodies?




Soon, I hope or my child is going to be playing with only toys that are carved from wood. :)

Thankful Thursday

I am tired so this is going to be quick.

I am thankful for air conditioning. It has been hot.

I am thankful it's supposed to cool down a little next week.

I am thankful for chicken wings. Yum. Totally not on my diet. But yum.

I am thankful my toe is finally feeling better enough that I can resume my exercise program. But not tonight. Did I mention that I am tired? :)

I am thankful tomorrow is Friday. AND I get a three day weekend. We don't take most of the normal holidays off so that we can accommodate the kids when they are out of school but Labor Day is one of the ones we do take. And since I don't work Wednesdays it means we go back on Tuesday and then get another day off. Yippee!

What are you thankful for?

Wordless Wednesday