Monday, March 26, 2012

Rise Above It

I have a hard time letting things go.  I try, and sometimes I think I have, and then something happens and all of the old feelings come up and I realize I have not, in fact, let it go.  It's still there, festering, under the surface and I didn't even realize it was there until something triggers it.

I let my emotions rule me a lot of the time.  It's one of the things I dislike about myself. Joe says  that's the part of me that makes me a kind, compassionate person.  

I don't care.  I wish I didn't feel things so much.  I wish I didn't take things so personally.


I especially find it hard to let things go if I have been hurt(emotionally) in any way.  I have a hard time trusting people, so when that trust is broken I find it hard to let go of the pain of it having been broken.

I cried on my way home about something that happened quite some time ago.  Like 5 years ago.  I thought I had gotten over it.  I was sure I had gotten over it, as it isn't something I think about anymore, or have in a long while.  

But then something happened, out of the blue, and there I am, crying in my car on my way home about it. 

I'm just looking for some closure, but I don't know how to come about it.

I saw this drawing on Pinterest and I love it.  It speaks to me somehow. 

I want to be the girl in that drawing.  I want to rise above the things that cause me hurt.  I want to be able to let them go, and not feel the hurt over and over again by a simple act on someone else's part.



I just wish I could figure out how.  

Sigh.

Joe says I shouldn't let these things bother me.  If someone doesn't want to be in my life it's their loss because I am an awesome person and anyone would be lucky to have me as a friend.  He always knows exactly the right thing to say to make me feel better.  Now if he could only get me to believe it  :)

Do any of you have this problem too?  How do you let things go?

6 comments:

My Little Monkey said...

I have this problem EXACTLY but I don't have any words of wisdom. I too wish I could learn to let go.

Nicole said...

One word- Therapy.

Lots of it. Heal thyself.

2china4S said...

I too have the same problem Michelle. Except that I tend to beat myself, and actually make an argument as to why I deserve whatever slight has been hurled my way. After all, if my own mother abandoned me, what does that say about my lack of worth? Wish I could help make it better for you.

Karen said...

I have had the exact same problem within the last 2 years. I was friends with this woman for over 15 years. I listened when she went through MANY and MULTIPLE life events, including deaths. When she calls, I made sure to call her back when I knew I had an hour to talk. So, when I have a crisis that sends me right over the edge, I called to confirm with her that we were still keeping our regular coffee meeting in a couple of days. When she asked if everything was okay and I started crying, she told me to call her when I had time to pull myself together and felt better. That was the end for me. Many times, I've wanted to write her a letter and tell her what I think but I realize there is nothing to be gained by it. She lost a good friend in me. Hang in there, and try to let it go. As long as you are upset, that person still has a hold on you and just isn't worth it. You know the kind of person you are.

Number 6 and no more counting! said...

oh Michelle, I have the same problem. I wish we could have coffee! I want so much to rise above things and I try and try. Even when I take a stand about an issue I am constantly questioning myself. I am my own worst enemy.

you know how much I love the fact that you put yourself out here. You are very courageous!

lea
xo

Gail said...

Michelle,

Your words could have been my words. We're cut from the same cloth, the deep thinkers and feelers. We are sensitive and creative souls and hurt goes with our personality types. I have the same problem letting things go.

Time and therapy has helped me. I have a wonderful husband that supports me too. I can tell you do too.

Wish I had the right answers, I admire and respect you for being so honest!

hugs,
Gail