I woke up in a funk. Feeling kind of down. As I got ready this morning, I pondered why I was feeling this way. It's the weekend. Joe is coming home early. I'm not sick anymore. I have no reason to feel down. Yet there was a vague feeling that soemthing was not quite right. In the middle of blow drying my hair, it hit me. Wait a minute, I thought. What day is it? No, not Sunday. The date. What's the date? I dig through my jewelery box looking for my watch that shows the date. Can't find it. I get up and go into the family room and boot up the computer. It takes forever. Finally it turns on and I look up the date. October 15th. Oh. It's that day. October fifteenth is a horrible, rotten, no good day. I hate this day. I can't believe I didn't remember it earlier. Ten years ago today my Mom died. Ten years. Is that even possible? How have I spent the last ten years without my Mom? How could ten years have gone by so quickly, and yet so slow? It is unbelievable to me. I'm glad it is a gray, cloudy day because that's how I feel. I miss my Mom. I don't talk about her as much as I should, but I think about her all the time. Almost every day. Soemtimes I still get angry that she's gone. Especially when I think about Cameron and Gracie, and Sophie, who never got to know ther Grandma. It is so unfair. But then those moments pass and I think about what a wonderful Mom she was. What a wonderful person she was. And how lucky I was to have her for twenty five years. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go into the bedroom and pull the covers over my head and wait for this day to pass. I'll be O.K. tomorrow.
I miss you Mom.