I spent a quiet day off, which is fine with me. I like quiet. Joe has the flu. Yuck. I cannot get sick. Seriously. Can. Not. I'm doing my best to stay away from him. It helps that I have been staying in the baby's room for the last week. I moved there on Monday. It had nothing to do with him being sick. It had to do with a whole bunch of other reasons that I'm struggling not to post about here.
I cleaned like a crazy person today. I tend to do that when I'm feeling unsettled and unsure and there has been a lot of that going around here too.
I keep telling myself there really is no place to go from here but up. I just wish things would start moving in that direction already. I could use a break here because I'm tired. So tired.
I wish Blogger would fix their spell check button.
***Edited: I was spot on with my guesses of the guys. I agreed with Garret, but I'm not sure about Colton. I think it should have been Chikezie.***
3 comments:
Im tired too! Tired of all the crap we have to deal with on a daily basis.. I need some inner voice to tell me what to do sometimes but apparently she aint talkin!
Unsettled is OK, really. I believe it helps us move forward.
can't get in to AI this year.
Lea
Hey Michelle
I have been keeping an eye on your blog since we met last spring. Right now obviously things are beyond tough.
I don't know you or all your circumstances really well so I am not going to offer much advise, (OK, just little at the end), but I would like to rewind the last few years for you.
This is just the parts I am aware of - in the last couple years you and Joe
Have suffered through fertility issues (painful and very stressful)
Have applied to adopt (stressful and how do you say - um slightly invasive)
Discovered you have a chronic condition that must be carefully managed (stressful and exhausting)
Had necessary surgery(sort of a mixed blessing).
Because of above had to take a break from the job and industry you are working in.
Suffered financial difficulties from dropping down to one salary.
Started a new job in a new profession you must learn from scratch.
This much change and stress is going to be difficult and wearing for anyone. Joe must have felt so helpless at times, and you have suffered a lot physically.
Please be kind to yourselves. You have just been through a LOT. This much stress changes the way you think and react (sadly I know this from personal experience - I can't BELIEVE some of the things I did/did not do when under a lot of stress)
So no wonder you are tired. You have a right.
Recognize you have been through a lot, and in many ways that much stress is a wounding experience. It takes time to recover, but I promise recovery is possible.
If this is to personal please just delete. I only mean to encourage, not add to your burden.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
khm
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