Hey, are you feeling good about yourself? Self confidant, self assured, overall just content with your body and self image?

Well have I got a cure for you!

Simply take a (almost) five year old dress shopping with you. That should take care of any positive self image feelings you may be having.

The scenario:

We are at the Bagel shop getting breakfast. Lisa decides she needs to head down the street to Mervyn's to pick up a camisole for this evening.

On the way we pass a Dress Barn and I decide to pop on in to see if they have any dresses, as I need one for an upcoming wedding. (Don't even get me started on the name of the store. Dress Barn? Seriously? Who came up with this? As if I need any more reasons to feel like a barnyard animal. Specifically one that Moos.)

But I digress.

So we're in Dress Barn, looking at the dresses. They have a pretty good selection, and i have pulled a few off of the rack to try on.

While I am looking Gracie points to a dress with where the bustline is completely rouched, like elastic.

Then she turns to me and says to me "Aunt Michelle, how about this dress? It has room to fit your breastes!" Um, okaaaaaaaayyyyyy.

I take the two dresses I have chosen into the dressing room and Grace decides she wants to come with me. I say okay, and in we go.

That was my first mistake.

I try on one of the dresses, and it is very cute, it is in my size, and it is on clearance for 60% off. Score! But I can't zip it up in the back. It is too small. (Sadness)

I start taking the dress off and Gracie asks me if it fits. I tell her no, it doesn't fit and I take the other dress I chose off of the hanger and hold it in front of me.

Grace looks at the dress in my hand and says "There is no way you are going to be able to fit your whole body into that dress."

Ummmm.....she was right. It didn't fit either.

Lovely.

We left Dress Barn after that, probably never to return again.

Later we go to Target. We are in the Lingerie section. There ares some bras on the bottom shelf that look like they would fit a 7 year old. They were tiny.

Grace points to them and says "Those bras would not fit your breastes, Aunt Michelle".

I shake my head slowly and say "No. Those bras would not fit me. You're right."

We walk by the women's section, where the bras are considerably larger.

"These bras would fit your breastes Aunt Michelle!".

Yes. Yes, they would.

And that concludes my shopping adventures with Grace.

Lisa and Scott have gone for the evening.

I am taking the kids to the small, family owned circus that is set up down the street.

I'm not usually a circus kind of gal, so I'm not sure how this is going to go.

Hopefully there will not be any more conversations about my breasts.

Wish me luck.


***Lisa informed me that Grace is obsessed with "breastes"(as she calls them) overall, and it is not just delegated to mine. And I am seriously bummed that none of the dresses fit me. I am hoping that the sizes just ran small beacause I really haven't gained any weight and I am NOT prepared to go up a dres size.