Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Crazy

It has been a hectic two days. So hectic, in fact that I had a meltdown in my car today, crying on the phone to my husband. Don't worry. He's used to these, and he knows exactly how to handle them. I am much better now. I am sitting at home on my couch in my sweatpants with my new computer on my lap. Ahhh..much better! (Did I forget to mention that I also have a pint of Hagen Dazs Triple Chocolate Ice Cream with me?) Anyway, the reason for the meltdown. I started my period today(thus the crying and the chocolate ice cream). Finally. I have been having a lot of pain this month and this means I'll finally be feeling better. Did anyone happen to notice how I didn't post even one entry about how much pain I have been in? Yup, I'm trying to keep the blog lighthearted and cheerful these days. Anyway, those weren't the only reasons for the meltdown. Yesterday I saw a Urologist. My primary doctor made me go see one because my urine test keeps coming back abnormal and he won't sign off on my med form for the adoption until he finds out why. So I went yesterday. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't even know what one was. I was kind of hoping to go there and tell him I was fine, and I just needed a note from him so I could get my medical form signed off. That's it. I wasn't expecting an exam, and I certainly wasn't expecting what he told me. So he comes into the room and starts going over my chart and he asks me why I am there. I tell him the only reason I am there is to get my medical form signed saying I am fine so that we can adopt a child. I tell him I am having no symptoms, and I don't even know what's wrong with my urine test results. He looks at the results and says "Well, you have blood in your urine." Then he pauses and looks at me kind of funny and continues "A lot of blood. Are you sure you aren't experiencing any other symptoms?" I tell him "No, I didn't even know about the blood, and I wouldn't have known if I hadn't had a physical". Then he asks me whether or not I have been having any pain. This is where it gets dicey. I told him "Yes, I have a lot of pain, every month, but that's because of Stage V endometroisis, not because of my bladder". And he says "Hmmm...I'm not so sure that's the case. I think it is possible that the pelvic pain from the endometroisis is masking the pain in your bladder. No one has that much blood in their urine unless there is a reason." By this time I am confused, and a little bit scared. I wasn't expecting this at all. So I ask him "What kinds of things would cause blood in your urine like that?" And he answers(slowly). "There are three probable causes. Cancer, a large kidney stone, or cysts in your bladder." Those were his exact words. He follows that statement by saying "Of course we would be least worried about the Cancer, given your age and family history." But I don't hear that part clearly because I'm thinking "What????? Did he say Cancer? What's he talking about? And what family history is he referring to? I clearly wrote "unknown" on that part of the form, and wrote "adopted" next to it. I don't know my family history you idiot! For all I know, my mother is dead of Cancer as we speak! And if you are least worried about that, why did you mention it first?" Luckily, that part of the conversation only occurred in my head! Instead I calmly answered "O.K. What do I do?" He said first I had to have an exam. I was a kind of nervous. I usually like to be a little more prepared when I have to take my pants off at the doctors. Now if you have never been examined my a urologist before, it is very similiar to a visit to the gynecologist. Except that it's a little different. It's a little, how should I say this, more intimate. Let's just say my husband hasn't been that intimate with me in a very long time! Your urethra lies on the upper lining of your woman parts, and is kind of hidden in the.........folds. Here is a very good site that explains it quite well. Caution. It is very graphic. Anyway, the exam was quite strange and I felt pretty uncomfortable. The doctor himself was very professional and he did nothing himself to make me uncomfortable, and there was nurse present too, of course. It's just that I am uncomfortable being touched in the places he had to touch me to do the exam. Anyway long(long) story short, I have to go back for a bunch more tests to detemine why there is blood(a lot of blood) in my urine. I get to have a camera put into my urethra, and I get to have a series of X-rays that takes 45 minutes to complete, while my bladder is full. Whooee, there is a lot of fun to be had by me in the next couple of weeks! Add to that my second mammogram on Thursday, and I think I may have had all the fun I can handle! Now I must go and throw something together for dinner quickly before Joe gets home because holy cow, it's 7:15 already and I haven't made dinner yet! This time change is really messing me up.

8 comments:

Tracy said...

Delurking to say good luck on your tests! I know how scary it can be to have to wait for those tests (I had ovarian cancer 8 years ago). I am thinking only good thought for you and come on kidney stone!

Tracy
momma to Amelia Rae
Guangxi Province

Gracencameronsmomy said...

Oh my gosh, that is scary! Let me know how it goes...
Lisa

Stacey Teague said...

Michelle, what a scary day for you!!! You are completely in my thoughts, and I'm sure everything will turn out ok it's just going to take some time to get there!!

Kristin said...

Michelle, are you going to Saddleback? My girlfriend (Queen Victoria link of my blog)is was just there for a bladder test and she said while it was uncomfortable (full bladder) they were very nice and helpful...

I'm sorry he was so insensitive to your family history... it just reminds us how we have to be our own best advocates because doctor's don't always read or process the information right in front of them! I was at the OB/GYN last week and the nurse asked me when my last period was...imagine her surprise when I answered, "Sept. 2001". Hello! I had a hysterectomy... through this office! In the paperwork!

Fingers crossed for a cyst!!

Tazzy said...

oh my goodness. what an awful exam to have to go through. I'm sorry you're still in pain and I'm sorry you're so worried about the diagnosis. I hope it's something easily fixable. hugs to you!

Shelli said...

I know you are scared, but don't freak out. This exact thing happened to me last year. Went in for my annual - I have blood in my urine. They treat it as a UTI w/ antibiotics for 3 months. Then I go to the urologist. They did some tests on my urine and I had the camera up the ole' tee tee hole. Not pleasant! It looked good. Had a sonogram and CT scan. I have cysts on my left kidney. Now at my last annual there was NO blood in my urine. Don't think the worse. Some people just have blood in their urine with no medical reason. I'll be thinking about you!!

Sandy said...

You poor girl! Good luck on your tests and I hope you are able to treat yourself to some retail therapy after such a stressful time. Sending hugs your way.

Joannah said...

Michelle, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this! Hopefully it's nothing serious and you'll be moving forward shortly. Hang in there!