Saturday, April 29, 2006
Ummm..I would like to publicly apologize for last night's post. It stemmed entirely from my depressive state and my own insecurities, and was not targeted at anyone in particular. Thank you, thank you for those that left such nice comments. That wasn't the reason for the post(No, really, it wasn't), but it is nice to know that people do care. This has been a truly horrific week for me. It was hard for me to leave my sister's (darn it, we should just move there). I have been in a great deal of pain. I do not cope well when I am in pain. I had to go to the doctor and have some pretty uncomfortable tests that I am still feeling the residuals from(I never knew it could burn so much when you pee!). I hate going to the doctor even for a routine check up, let alone invasive tests! We have been worried about money lately, and the state of my husband's job situation. Then on Friday I got a notice in my mailbox at work that my health insurance premium is going up, and they are discontinuing free vision and dental. Grrrreat. This could end up costing us quite a bit, since I carry my husband and will carry Sophie on my insurance policy. My husband's job doesn't offer health insurance, as he is considered part-time at each separate school he works at. Sometimes I think we are crazy to be thinking about adding a child to all of this. We are barely providing for ourselves! Add all of those things with the fact that I'm going to start my period, and needless to say, I am an emotional wreck! My husband and I have been talking about the fact that it might be time for me to go ahead and have the hysterectomy I have been putting off. It should eliminate the monthly pain, and the severe PMS. Anyway, sorry for last night's late night post. I was not myself when I wrote it. I haven't seen that person since last summer, early Fall. I have made an appoinmment with my therapist on Monday, and an appointment for a new psychiatrist next week. I might still take a short break form posting, but I haven't decided. I like writing on this blog. It is only lately that it has started to bring me down, and that is entirely due to the depression, not anything that anyone else has done. I think maybe I should write drafts and sit on them awhile before posting them so I don't end up with more posts like that! Sheeesh!