Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Is it Friday Yet?

This feels like a long week. I don't know why. I am feeling fine and all signs of sickness are gone, so you would think that alone would make the week go by faster. But it hasn't. My day started with me seeing a co-worker in the staff room with a big pregnant belly who I didn't even know was pregnant. Obviously I haven't seen her in quite some time! I hate being surprised by this kind of thing. Then I had a conversation with a co-worker and she told me I should not be bitter and just be happy for her. Oh, and she knows exactly what I'm going through because it took her five years to get pregnant with her first child(twenty-two years ago). She went on to have three more. But she knows exactly how I feel. Yeah, O.K. Then I had to explain to her how much pain it causes me that I will never be pregnant, and she kept arguing with me and I got all defensive. If you have been pregnant with a pregnancy that produced a healthy child, you do not know how I feel. Please don't give me insensitive, unsolicitated advice. Thank you. Later in the day I found out that I will be out of a job this summer. It had been kind of up in the air until now, and the way I found out was pretty lousy. Then I went to lunch and had a huge freak out on the phone with Joe about what we are going to do this summer when we are both unemployed. I know it's a long way off. But it scares me. I have never in my life been unemployed(from the age of sixteen). But now I'm home, and Joe is home with me, and we have had a lovely dinner together. Check me out, looking on the bright side. Sigh.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

Listen, I don't mean this as unsolicited advice, but really, once Sophie is home, you won't look at pregnancy the same way... you will (and I promis you this) be happy that you didn't get pregnant because then you might not have taken the road which led you to your daughter... sounds corny, but it's true.

My SIL recently announced her 2nd pregnancy, and my husband and I were like, "Pregnant? Why?"

Because adoption is THAT great!

Feel better and don't let the bitches get you down... notice I am not telling you that you shouldn't feel the way you do, I am merely pointing out how perspective changes as life unfolds... ;-)