In the last 6 months I have learned to adjust to a severe cut in our income, as well as the changes that came in my marriage as my husband and I went through a rough patch that we are only just coming out of.
In the last six weeks I have had to learn to adjust to life without a car, and the inconvenience of always having to depend on someone else to get me where I need to go. Also in the last six weeks both my husband and I have had to adjust to my husband's new job.
The new job came about as a necessity after the fact that my husband lost one of his teaching jobs in December. He looked for a job for five months. He couldn't get another teaching gig because the semester had started already and all the teachers were hired.
That five months was an adjustment. A difficult one.
Approximately five weeks ago my husband found a job. Finally. He would start working for a large retail corporation on the night shift.
Some people call it the graveyard shift. Ten p.m. to 5:30 a.m.
We were so grateful that he found a job that we didn't care that the hours were unusual. Or that the pay was crappy(five times less than he was making at the teaching job he lost. Five times.) At least it was a job. And it paid something.
In fact, we thought the hours would suit him perfectly. My husband is somewhat of a night owl. He rarely came to bed before two or three a.m. anyway, and this job would enable him to finish the semester with the classes that he still had.
How could two people be so completely wrong?
The last five weeks have been one of the biggest adjustments to date. For both of us. Needless to say, the hours are rough(on him. I am asleep.)
It is not natural for your body to awake all night long. Couple this with the fact that it is an extremely physical job(unloading trucks and stocking shelves), and that leaves my husband in an utterly exhausted state. All. The. Time.
What does this mean? It means that every daytime(and into the night) hour that we are together, my husband is asleep.
8:00 o'clock in the morning. Twelve o'clock in the afternoon. Seven o'clock in the evening.
On the couch. In our bed. In the car(waiting to pick me up from work).
Except for the seven and a half hours that he is at work, and the time it takes for him to drop me off or pick me up from work, he is sleeping.
We haven't had a real conversation in six weeks. We haven't slept in the same bed, at the same time in six weeks. On his days off he can't get his internal clock to switch back to nighttime sleeping, so he is in the living room awake. While I sleep. During the day, when I am in the living room awake(on my days off) he is in our bedroom asleep. It's like we're living separate lives.
Do you see the problem here? To top it off, I am accustomed to having his help with the household chores. Picking up the clutter, doing the dishes and the laundry, taking out the trash, making phone calls when needed and paying the bills. I am used to having help with these things. And now I don't have any help at all.
All of the above mentioned things are slowly driving me insane. Add to that the fact that I can't go anywhere without him because I don't have a car and I can't get him to take me anywhere because he is asleep. Insane, I tell you!
This will get better right? He'll adjust to working these hours. Right? There will come a time when he isn't exhausted and we will actually be awake at the same time, right? Please tell me this is so. Lie if you have to. I know I have a couple of readers whose husbands work the night shift(Stacey?). Can you help me out here? This will get easier?
It has to. Because I miss my husband. Even though he's right there in the room next to me.
Sleeping like a baby.