Saturday, July 23, 2005

O.K., it has been awhile since I posted, so I thought I would write something. The adoption seminar went well. I was kind of bummed because it was mostly about domestic adoption. It's nice to have the info, but Joe and I already have decided to go international when we adopt. We want to go to China like Lisa and Scott. It was such a good experience when I went with them, and Joe absolutely loves Gracie. The seminar was a little depressing, because it really laid out the cost. We have got to start saving our money. I started an adoption fund. We are putting all of our change into it right now, but we are planning on adding to it each month. It's hard to save money when we can barely pay our bills, but I know that the Lord will provide for us. If this is His plan, then he will help us save the money somehow. I'm going to start babysitting again on the weekends. Joe is talking about getting a second job to get us through these looong stretches where he isn't getting his full pay, but I'll believe that when I see it. I'm thinking about putting together scrapbooks for people on the side. I have made several complete albums in the last year(for free, as gifts) but I figured maybe some people would pay me to do theirs for them. I would think that would be very appealing for those that aren't into scrapping. They could give me all their pictures and when they got them back they would be in a complete album. I would have to think about what to charge though. It took me about 20 hours to finish one of the albums I did, plus about $200.00 in supplies. It's just an idea. I need to start thinking about ways we can make (and save) money. I think I'm going to spread the word that we are "skipping" Christmas this year too. We (I) spend way too much money every year, and we simply can't afford it. I'm pretty convinced that adopting is going to be the only way we will ever have a child. I will go ahead and have the third surgery in the Fall, to help with my pain, but I don't think it will help us get pregnant. Joe wants me to think positively, but I'm kind of beyond that. I'm thinking realistically now. I am going to turn 35 years old in 6 months. I just don't think the pregnancy thing is going to happen. It makes me want to cry when I read this(and I probably will when I'm done), but I think God is trying to steer us in another direction and Joe just isn't ready to accept it. Men are never good at asking for directions!

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