Friday, July 28, 2006
It was a long day. I am tired of the heat. I am used to it being hot at my house. We have air conditioning, but this is the most we have had to use it ever. I wasn't kidding when I said I was seriously afraid of getting the electric bill. What I'm not used to is the heat at work. I work two blocks from the beach. The weather there in the summer is usually beautiful. Very little humidity, 75-80 degress, with a lovely ocean breeze. For the last two weeks straight, it has been in the high eighties, with seventy percent humidity. In the course of my day, I am outside with the kids for three hours out of my eight hour day. Now I swore when I returned from China two years ago, I would never complain about humidity again. You don't know what humidity is unless you have been to China! There is nothing like it. For me, it was almost unbearable. But you know what? I'm complaining about the humidity. It is awful! I have sweat dripping down me at all times. I know that my medication(s) have something to do with this, but it makes me very unhappy. And cranky. There has to be a break in it soon, right? I know if you live in any other state than (southern)CA, you probably have it much worse off than I do(in terms of heat and humidity), but I am simply not used to this and I'm getting tired of it! After sweating to death at work, I headed to two back to back therapy appointments. One individual and one couple's. So much fun should be illegal. Today we met the therapist we will be seeing for our couple's counseling. Previously we had been seeing my individual therapist, on an "emergency" basis. I have to say, the jury is still out on wether or not I like this new one. She says MmmmHmmmm..... a lot. I hate when therapists say that. Mine never says it. I got bored halfway through the session, and started counting how many times she responded that way. It was like twenty-two times! At some point you could just nod your head to let us know you were listening, and forego the MmmmHmmmm's, don't 'cha think? She also stops after 50 minutes. That bugs me. For what we(and by "we" I mean our insurance co.) are paying her, you would think she could let us go for an hour. My therapist always lets me ramble on for an hour. Sometimes more! I don't know why it bugs me. But it does. I also find myself very annoyed that I have to be there at all. I know this makes very little sense, since I'm the one that insisted we go. But my husband and I already did extensive marriage counseling early on in our marriage(ten years ago). We went for five years! It saved our marriage. We learned how to communicate better. We worked through a lot of issues(ALOT, including the death of my mother). I believe it is what has allowed us to stay married for the last thirteen years. So the fact that we can't seem to work through the particular issues we are having right now on our own bugs me. I guess because I feel like most of our issues right now have to do with my husband alone, and not our relationship per say. It seems unfair that I have to go to another counseler so he can figure out what his problems are with self esteem and motivation. These all sound like very credible issues we can discuss in upcoming couple's counseling! Don't get me wrong, he is doing things on his own to work through his own issues. There's a lot of therapy going on around our house. I know in the end it can only help. But its draining. So anyway, that's how I spent my day. Sweating at work, then spilling my guts. But afterwards Joe and I went out and had a wonderful Sushi dinner, and now we're headed off to our favorite place, Golden Spoon for some delicious frozen yogurt. And it's Friday for goodness sake's It's all good.