I wasn't going to post anything today, because all I have is complaints, but then I thought, Hey, it's my blog, and if I need to complain, then so be it.
--My new temp job wasn't great. I am watching one child, in her home. It isn't that it was demanding. It was just boring. I am accustomed to handling twenty five kids or more, doing art and crafts, cooking, games, etc. I am used to noise and chaos. This was certainly the opposite of that. The child I am watching is a good kid, and she didn't give me any trouble. There just wasn't enough to do. She kept asking every ten minutes "So what do you want to do now?" That makes for a very long day. We even went to the park and to McDonald's for two hours and she was still bored. What do you people do with your kids at home in the summer? I don't think I can take another day like today. It was the longest day ever.
--My hubby and I are working opposite schedules a few days this week. I work 7-4 and he works 4-midnight. He is gone when I get home, and I am asleep when he gets home, so I don't get to see him at all. I hate it. I won't see him now until Saturday evening. Sigh.
--Between spending my whole day with a seven year old and not seeing my husband, I am starting to feel very isolated again. I need to be with people! Grownups! I didn't realize what a social outlet my job was until I didn't have it anymore. I miss the adult interaction.
--Money is so tight right now it makes it hard for me to breathe whenever I even start to think about it. My husband's pay is cut by $1500.00 a month in the summer and I have to come up with a thousand dollars more a month to pay for my health insurance. Don't even ask me how we're going to do that. I just don't know. I have seriously considered letting my health insurance lapse. I know this is a terrible idea. I can't be without health insurance. Not with my health conditions. It's just so much money. I may have to bail out on this temp job(even though I promised my friend I would do it) and find something permanent that has benefits. The whole thing is freaking me out and making me very scared. It is not a good feeling.
--It looks like we are going to be moving. To another apartment in our complex. They are renovating the entire complex, and they want the people who live in unrenovated ones to move to the one that has been renovated. It isn't that I don't want new carpet, and countertops, and appliances, because Lord knows we need them. It's just the thought of moving right now makes me feel sick. The work involved. The stress. Ugh.
There. I think I am done complaining for now. I know I have so many things in my life to be grateful for. I shouldn't dwell on the negative. But I'm having a hard time lately. Between the surgery, and financial woes, and quitting my job, and possibly moving, there are so many things that are uncertain right now it leaves me feeling very worried. Which is not good for my blood pressure. So I need to "knock it off", as Joe so lovingly puts it. But I don't know how. Any suggestions?
4 comments:
Michelle, it seems like you have so many things going on at once and all of them provide some stress on their own. When you put them all together, it just seems like way too much.
You have every right to whine once in a while, we all have to do it sometimes. Don't feel bad about it.
I say you need to do whatever you can to cover the health insurance payment. It's murphy's law that as soon as it lapses something comes up, and God knows you don't need medical bills on top of everything else.
Try and keep your chin up and get through what seems like a rough patch right now...on the other side it's much better. It's only a matter of time. I'm cheering you on!
Donna :)
Things me and my kidlets do all day.
Make and play with playdo
Make and play with bubbles
Tye Dye T Shirts
Water play
Board Games
Nature Walks
Walks with the Metal Detector
Read a thons
Library, Library, Library ( we love the library)
Kids Museum
Take our bikes to the park
Cooking projects
Art Projects
Movies ( our locally owned theater does free kids movies during the summer, they are second screenings but still fun)
Play Dates
Treasure Hunts
Frisbee
Launch Rockets
Science Experiments
Sidewalk Chalk
The list is endless. You can do all the fun things you did in the classroom, often on a larger scale because you are only managing one kid.
My husband works with the uninsured. WHATEVER you do DO NOT let that insurance lapse.
Just hang in there.
We have had times like that before.
It will pass and everything will turn out fine.
Sounds like spending time with the seven year old could be good training for you when you have your someday-seven-year-old Sophie! :-)
I hope everything works out. I agree with Donna that you should find a way to pay the insurance. Do you have stuff you could auction off on ebay or Amazon?
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