Monday, August 27, 2012

Blue

Blogging from my phone again.  I'm really missing my computer at home. I can get internet on my kindle fire but there is no blogger app and I find it hard to type on it. It's so much easier to type on my phone, because it's an android and has the swype feature.

I'm feeling blue.  I know that is to be expected.  It doesn't make it suck any less. 

I feel very much in limbo right now too, and that's hard.  Everything I need has been moved to the new place but I'm still staying at our apartment because we have it until the first and joe is still here.  We have only our couches and bed here now, all of which we not taking with us.

I have hesitated to write about this next part because I know I will be judged.

We have to put our dog to sleep. It's not because we are moving.  Not entirely.  She has been biting people lately.  She bit a little girl at lisa's house at thanksgiving and she very nearly bit our downstairs neighbor's kid a few weeks ago.

As she gets older she has been becoming more and more fearful of people.  She has also been very sick.  She has a tumor and she has lost a great deal of weight. 

And so we will be putting her to sleep.  There are no words for how sad I am about this.  My eyes and nose are raw from crying.

We love her so much but she is nine years old and being so sick we don't see any other choice.

Any one of these changes would be enough to overwhelm someone.  The combination of them all is very hard on me.  I haven't  slept in days and I'm exhausted.  I feel a cold coming on and a sore throat.  I suppose that could be from all of the crying.

There has been much crying. 

I know that this will get better and I will be ok, but this part sucks.

We love you gizmo, and we are so sorry   :(


3 comments:

Jenna said...

Michelle,
I am so sorry. I am sure you are so sick of hearing that right now, but how horrible to have to make that decision. I am so sorry. Life is so unfair right now, no one should have to deal with all this. I only pray that when this all passes the rest of your life is peaches and cream.
You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry about Gizmo. I am so sorry about Joe, I am so sorry you are sick... Hugs.

dawn said...

Your like is so unfair right now. Goodness me.

Cora Huffman said...

This is obviously a decision that you did not come to lightly. I am sorry that it has to turn out this way but only you know what has to be done. I hope that the following weeks bring some healing.