I thought I wanted to do this blogging-every-day thing because I kept coming here and having stuff to say but then when I came here today I realized I really don't have anything to say.
And yet here I am.
I'm so tired. Yes, I know I said that yesterday. But today I am TIRED.
Like stupid tired.
I'm so tired that I kept forgetting what I was saying, in the middle of my sentences. That makes for interesting conversations with your co-workers.
Me: "so yesterday I was packing up my room and ...........".
My co-worker: "And what?"
Me: "I don't know. I forgot what I was going to say. What was I talking about?"
Thankfully the phone usually rings about then and we all forget that I was talking in the first place. At least I hope so, otherwise I'm pretty sure my co-workers think I am losing it.
Actually they may be right. I think I may be totally losing it.
I keep counting things off in my head, like:
Four more days until I move.
I only get to take a shower in this shower(*my* shower) for four more days.
As I pull into the parking lot of our apartment complex: I will only be coming home to this place (my HOME) for four more days.
As I went into our local grocery store this morning to get cat food: I will only be coming to this grocery store, where I know all of the check out people, for four more days.
I will only be living with my husband for four more days.
This last one is always accompanied by tears and serious thoughts of "WHAT AM I DOING?"
I like to yell at myself in my head sometimes, especially if I am having self doubts.
I want someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be o.k, but I don't have anyone to do that for me because that's usually my husband's job and I'm LEAVING him so he isn't in the mood to do that for me right now.
I don't blame him.
Please think good sleepy thoughts for me tonight because I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
4 more days.
(I guess I did have something to say after all).