Thursday, August 11, 2005
Well, I wish I had better news to report, but I just don't. My surgery has been officially cancelled until we can pay off our overdue balance. This is so unfair. I could go to a different doctor and probably have a surgery with them in about a month, but I need to stay with this doctor for this particular surgery. There aren't a lot of doctors that are experienced at Pre-Sacral Neurectomies and this guy is the top one in his field. They called me at work to tell me this, and after I hung up with them I was bawling on the phone with Joe inside(while the kids were outside), and several of them came in to ask me something and saw me crying and it really upset them. I wasn't sure what to tell them, so I just told them I wasn't feeling well and tried very hard to stop. We had our end or summer party today, so it was a hectic day already. I feel like such an idiot anyway, because the other person that I work with just lost her husband 3 weeks ago and she hasn't shed a single tear, but here I am bursting into tears at the drop of a hat over something that probably seems so trivial to her. Looking on the bright side, at least tomorrrow is the last day of the summer program and I'll be driving up to S.F. on Saturday. Joe wanted me to cancel the trip because is very worried about my mental state right now, and he wants me close by(and also we are really struggling financially), but Dad and I decided that now is a good time for me to get away, so we're going. Maybe if I get some distance on this I can figure out what I should do next.