Sunday, August 21, 2005

Well, we never made it to play tennis last night. I think Joe was a little dissapointed. I have been feeling crummy since I got home. I have had 6 "episodes" in the last 2 days alone. I'm grateful that they waited until after I came home. I would have hated it if my time in S.F. was ruined because of the pain. I had a horrible one this morning. It lasted almost 25 minutes. Usually they are done in about 15 minutes. The pain is so bad. It feels like someone is taking my insides and trying to wring them out like a wet rag. I was surfing the internet last night, checking my bulletin boards. I belong to several. A few for infertility support, and one for Endometriosis. I was so bummed because some of those women have had 12 surgeries and are still in pain. Twelve!! I am debating about wether or not to have a third! Some of them had the surgery I am supposed to have and their pain was relieved, but one of them was still having pain even after. That REALLY bummed me out. I did some research and it seems that for this type of surgery it is possible for around 30 percent of women the surgery doesn't work and they still have pain afterwards. It's funny how the doctor doesn't tell you that when you are sitting across form him! I thought this was a sure thing, the answer to my prayers and now I am not so sure. I have to have hope that his will work though. If I don't have hope then there is nothing left to hang on to. Well, I have to go because I am meeting my infertility goup for lunch. I can't wait to see them. It seems like forever since I saw them last! They are the only people that will truly understand the dissapointment of my cancelled surgery. I need someone to talk to right now when I am feeling so bad.

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