Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Can't we all just get along?

I’m having issues at work. Women issues(No, not that kind of women issues)
What is it with women anyway? They are catty, and backstabbing, and at times outright bitchy. I am referring to myself also. And a lot of times they lie(I try not to do this. I do not always succeed). Why is it so easy for us to say unkind things about another person to someone else, but could never say it to their face(the person they are talking about)? That’s what I mean by backstabbing. And yes, I admit I have done this too. This runs rampant at my workplace. People are always telling me nasty things that someone else said about me or another co-worker. Yet the person that actually said it would never in a million years repeat it to me(or to the co-worker they are talking about). This is starting to get confusing. Are ya still with me here? What I’m trying to say is there is a lot of “He said, she said” going on(Or She said, She said). I have even confronted the person that said the nasty things about me and they say “I never said that”. Liar! If I push it and say “So and so told me you said it” they say “They must have misunderstood me. I never said that” Liar, liar, pants on fire!!! I HATE that. If someone outright asks me if I said something about them, I will admit it and apologize. I don’t LIE and say “I never said that”. Obviously you already know I said it, or you wouldn’t be confronting me about it. I have one co-worker in particular that I am having issues with. We have worked together for fourteen years. Fourteen years, people! You would think after that many years we would get along. But we don't. And I know why. I don't like her. I never have. She is not someone I would spend time with if I wasn't forced to work with her. She is unprofessional, negative, and at times downright nasty, to the kids and other workers. How she has been there as long as she has is a mystery to me(that's a whole other Oprah). I simply tolerate her presence. I don't talk to her very much, unless I am giving her a direct order(I am her superior, but only when my boss is not on campus). I don't chit chat with her. I don't tell her things about my life. By the time another competent adult comes to work(four hours later) I am so starved for adult conversation(not that talking to the five year olds isn't fascinating) that I pretty much have diarrhea of the mouth and talk nonstop. Well, she noticed this. Who wouldn't? And she confronted me yesterday about it. She wanted to know why I didn't talk to her, and had she done something wrong, and was I angry at her? I'm telling you, it took every ounce of self restraint I had not to reply "No. I'm not mad at you. I just don't like you."
I almost said that! I swear, sometimes I have no filter on my big mouth. I was trying so hard not to say that that I had a hard time thinking up something else to say! (a lie). I was silent for a few minutes while I gathered my thoughts. Inside my head I was thinking "Don't say what you are thinking, don't say what you are thinking, DON'T SAY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW!" Sometimes I yell at myself in my head. So I told her a partial truth. I told her I didn't talk to her because we didn't have a lot in common(she is MUCH older than I am. Like thirty years). I also told her that other people were telling me the nasty things she said about me when I wasn't there, and that I didn't like it. She denies saying any of the things I mentioned. Okey Dokey then. I guess two other people I work with are liars then, because she told them both the same things. I told her that if everyone that worked there(myself included) would just keep their mouths shut, most of these problems would be solved. And she agreed. And then a few minutes later she went and told the Milk Lady(yes, she has a name, but that's what we call her) that I was mean to her. How do I know this? The Milk Lady told another co-worker who works in another department and she told me. Sigh. But you know who I told? NO ONE(well, you guys). Because I have learned my lesson. My mouth will be shut and my ears deaf to this kind of crap from here on out. Because I'm tired of it. It is emotionally draining. And I have enough to be drained about.


G & G Hadden said...

OMG! You are a saint....I would have told her just what I was thinking...not that that is a good thing but I too have a hard time keeping things in. Yes, I yell at myself (quite often matter of fact) telling myself "don't say it, don't say it" but I usually say it. You were very nice to tell her you had not much in common....she is the one that should be feeling bad not you....she is the chatter box! Just remember when they are talking about you they are thinking about you...if that helps any :)

Joannah said...

Working with women can be very difficult!