My Whole World is Falling Apart

It has not been an easy last couple of months around here. First major problems at my job, then the hysterectomy, followed by the aftermath of the problems at work, resulting in unemployment for the first time in my life, then my unemployment benefits being denied. My husband's pay has been cut drastically this summer and I can honestly say that without the help of my family(My Dad especially), we might be living on the street. I sat down to look at our budget last night and realized there can't be a budget, because there is simply no money there to budget. What is that saying? You can't squeeze blood from a turnip, or something like that. All of these things pale in comparison to the fact that today we lost our baby. Our sweet Tess. We have just returned from the Vet's office. They will be calling us later to tell us that it is done. Forgive me if there are typos in this. It is hard to see through the tears that will not stop falling. I know that "it was time". I realize we had her for fourteen good years, and that we were lucky. I know all of these things. It doesn't make it any easier. We have had her the entire time we have been married. She was four weeks old when we got her. I don't remember a time without her. The house seems so empty. I think I'm going to have to shut the blog down for awhile. I can't keep posting here, pretending everything is fine, when it is not. But I can't come here and just complain all of the time either. People don't want to hear that. This blog has strayed so far from the adoption blog it was supposed to be. My world is falling apart and I don't know what to do to stop it. I will probably be back. I don't know. Things seem so bleak right now. I am so very sad.