I got nothin'.
I am tired.
Exhausted actually.
I can't sleep.
Every time I eat I have stomach cramps and feel sick.
Last night I had a panic attack. Like, an actual panic attack. I started hyperventilating. Have you ever hyperventilated before? This is the second time I have ever in my whole life hyperventilated. The last time was a week or so ago. It was just as fun the second time as it was the first(not).
It's scary to not be able to breathe, even though you are trying very hard to. I was freaking out and Joe just kept saying "You need to calm down, you need to calm down, you need to CALM DOWN or you're going to pass out."
I don't think him yelling at me to calm down was helping me at all.
But I seriously could. not. breathe. Then I started to panic because I couldn't breathe. It was like a panic attack in the middle of a panic attack!
Can you say spaz??
Aren't you supposed to breathe into a paper bag when you are hyperventilating? Or am I thinking of something else?
O.K. I googled it and that's kind of a myth. In fact it says that you actually shouldn't do that. There are, however, many good tips on what to do when you hyperventilate. I will be bookmarking that site for future use.
I really hope I won't be needing it. It really sucks.
T-minus 5 days until I move.
5 days until I leave my home.
5 days until I leave my husband.
Deep breath.
I might be needing that paper bag after all.
3 comments:
although if you pass out your body will relax and you will start breathing again, I know not funny, now. It is super scary not being able to breathe, I've been there. Thinking of you and hoping you find what you need to, whatever that turns out to be.
Hugs. You are strong. You will get through this.
Well if it makes you feel any better I totally would have gone for the paper bag too -- maybe it's been in movies or something? :-)
Hugs, my friend. And peace.
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