Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I have been trying to post only happy, upbeat things here lately, but to tell you the truth I'm having a hard time. Work is horrible. I am miserable there. I don't know how much longer I will be able to continue. This alone is freaking me out because, dude, I have to find another job and I have worked at this job for fourteen years and it makes me sad to think it is ending this way. I don't want to get into it(you never know who is reading), but my boss and I aren't on exactly good terms and she is trying to make my life miserable. Successfully. I try so hard not to let it bother me. So hard. But it does. Joe says she is not worth one minute of my tears or heartache. And I know he's right. But when someone treats you badly it is hard not to take it personally. I leave every day in tears. I am terrified of the job hunting process. I haven't been on a job interview in ten years. I am afraid. And sad. And afraid.

6 comments:

Tracy said...

I'm sorry you have to have the stress of looking for a new job, but think of how people are going to react when they see you have been at the SAME JOB for 14 years!! That is unheard of these days and says a lot about you. I would be honest about your health issues and be really grateful for the fact that although you had a rough time when you first diagnosed you are gratefully getting your labs back to normal to let them know you are over the worst of it. I am a total horrible person, so if I were you I would look fast and hopefully get a new job before the end of the job and not give one day over 2 weeks notice no matter how hard it is for them. Let them know they brought on themselves. Again, you have been at your job for 14 years and are probably better than I am when it comes to stuff like that, but I would so want to leave my boss in a bind if I could while still giving my notice so she couldn't say anything bad about me!

Good luck, eat a piece of your sinful apple stuff, that would cheer anyone up and then take a look at your ticker and realize you are 4 months closer to your daughter! Your boss can't take that away!


Tracy

Kathy and Joel said...

What I know is that the more we risk and do the things that scare the hell out of us, the more respect we gain for ourselves. Face it and know that in the end, your happiness is what matters most. You will learn just how strong, capable and amazing you really are.

Joannah said...

Something better is waiting for you. You just have to go find it! Hang in there...

M3 (Mary-Mia) said...

I'm so sorry it bites right now. The thought of looking for a new job would frighten me too, but hopefully you'll end up in a WAY better place and look back on this and think "what a great move I made."

Kylie's momma said...

Maybe it's a sign that change is a good thing?! You're now LID and you're lives are gonna change with the arrival of Miss Sophie. So think of it as an adventure and finding something better for Sophie. You can do it! I know you're a survivor and staying somewhere for 14 years has got to have a little bit of build up...so take it as a sign and start looking now and don't wait until you REALLY are pushed to leave. Better to be picky now while you're employed. It's a new day and I hope we can support you to find the job you really need and deserve. Good luck Michelle! Repeat after me "Change is a GOOD thing!" Your friend in MT. Susan

Jonni said...

I am so sorry to hear that work has been so bad. Nobody deserves to be crying every day. On the positive side, it will be good to find a place that appreciates you, so you don't have to be exposed to the negative people at your job. You are in my thoughts Michelle.

Hugs,
Jonni