What's the best way to beat the unemployment blues? Why to go to the Happiest Place on Earth, that's what! We're headed over there now. We decided to wait until it cooled down(although it really has only cooled very slightly since I arrived home). We're planning on staying late and taking in a parade and some fireworks. We live only twenty minutes from there and we have annual passes, but it has been awhile since we went. Lucky us!

My three thanks for today:
1. The Beach. Miss K and I spent most of our day there today and the weather was perfect and I swam in the ocean. Must do that more often.
2. I am thankful my nephew got into a different elementary school where he is going to Kindergarten. The one in his district is rated three and my sister has been trying to get him into a better one. Finally a space opened up today in a school that is rated a ten.
3. I am thankful I get to spend the evening with my husband having fun.

It's official

It's offical. As of four o'clock today I am unemployed. I will be bringing no income into our house. Miss K is going back to school and I have not been able to find a job in the last eleven weeks. But I'm not freaking out. Noooooo, not me. I'm cool as a cucumber. I know I'll find a job soon. Everything is going to be just fine. Yup, just fine. (Could somebody pass me the Xanax please?:) I'll do my three thanks later on today. Yup, two posts in one day. You lucky, lucky people. Bye for now.

Thankful Thursday

Every Thursday a blog post will be set aside for readers to list what they are thankful for. You can do it here, or Go on over to Heather's blog to participate
You know you want to! Here are my three for today:
1. I am thankful that I am presently working near the beach(two blocks). It is predicted to be ninety-eight degrees at my house today and it is only in the eighties here.
2. Remember that annoying chocolate Lab that lives at Miss K's house that gave me such a hard time when I started there? Well, of course he won me over(he is much better behaved now). He is the sweetest, funniest dog and he keeps us laughing all of the time. I am thankful I get to spend my days with him.
3. I am thankful for the long weekend coming up. We still are not done unpacking, and I'm hoping to finish it this weekend.

What are you thankful for?

A Long Day

Gosh this has been a long day. I had two job interviews today. I am wiped. Here's how my day went:
5:45 Get up
6:15 Leave for Miss K's house
7:00 Arrive at Miss K's House
8:00 Miss K gets up. Prepare breakfast, get her dressed and teeth and hair brushed
8:00-11:00 Keep Miss K entertained. Watch "Hannah Montana" for a half hour, play a board game, make a city with "Moon Sand"(this stuff is cool!), sit outside while she rides her bike.
11:00 Get ready for my first interview. Fix hair and makeup, change out of my shorts into nice outfit.
11:30 Prepare lunch for Miss K and little neighbor friend. (Note to self: change into nice outfit after preparing lunch. Not before)
12:00 Get everything packed for Kayla to go swimming(swimsuit, towels, extra clothes, pool noodles, snacks). Leave for interview
12:10-12:45 Drive to interview. Get lost. Totally freak out because you are going to be late.
12:50 Arrive at interview. (They let me bring Miss K)
12:50-1:15 Wait for doctor to be ready, as she is running late. Try to keep Miss K entertained while we wait.
1:15-1:45 Interview with doctor and doctor's husband.
1:45 Back in car to go swimming.
1:55 Realize I am starving because I haven't eaten all day. Stop for fast food.
2:00 Arrive home. Change into bathing suits. Go to the pool.
2:00-3:30 Hang out at the pool. Aaaaahhhhh.....
3:30 Back to my place for a shower and to get ready for my next interview.
4:15 Stand on front porch tapping my foot, waiting impatiently for Kiss K's mom to pick her up. Freak out because I'm going to be late again.
4:30 Get in car, race to interview.
4:45 Arrive for interview, right on time. Whew!
5:00 Meet with interviewer, only to be asked "Didn't you get my message? I called to cancel because the boss's wife wants to hire her friend." AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
5:00-5:20 Have a nice chat with her anyway. She says she will keep my resume in case something pops up. Realize it wasn't a complete waste of my time after all.
5:20 Get in car to go home. Call my sister. Listen to kids scream in the background.
5:40 Home. Tired.
Is it Friday yet? :)

My Three Thanks for today:
1. I am thankful for job interviews. I know one of them is going to pan out sooner or later, and I would much rather be going on them than not getting them at all.
2. The swimming pool. It was HOT today!
3. The new paint on two of the walls in my apartment. Joe painted two small walls in our living room lavender. They are so pretty. One of them I have all of the pictures of my Mom and family hanging on it, and it looks so nice with the purple. I call it my "happy wall".

A new day

I am feeling much better. I'm not going to lie. I had a nice cry over the events that took place yesterday. I guess what I'm feeling now is confusion. The only thing I can think of is that some resumes came in since Wednesday that were awesome and would make the director look good if she hired them, and she regretted making her decision to hire me too soon. Because I know it is nothing that I did. I am highly professional. I am wonderful with the children. I got along well with the other staff. I did everything that was asked of me the day that I worked there. And at the end of the day, she offered me the job. There was no misunderstanding. Anyway, it is done. Moving on. I sent out four more resumes today and set up a job interview for later in the week. I will find something. I know that. I still pray that it will be soon, but if I have to wait a little longer to be sure it is the right job, then I will. This certainly has been a lesson in patience. Because I want this blog to be a more positive place both for me and people who visit, I am going to be doing something daily called Three Thanks. This is not my idea, I totally stole it from Heather over at Digging a Hole to China. She has given me permission to use it, and to invite you all to go over and visit her own site to give your three thanks every day. I have many things in my life to be thankful for. At times it is hard to focus on these things, especially when I am going through a rough patch, like I am now. Anyway, every day at the end of my post I will post three things I am grateful for, or my "Three Thanks". You are welcome to tell me what yours are for the day too, or you can go to Heather's Three Thanks site and list them there. I have been going over there almost every day for awhile now. I will probably still do that, but I would like to do it here also. I think it is important for me to focus on what is positive in my life and be grateful for each good thing that I have.

Three Thanks
1. Today I am thankful for the support of my husband. When I am upset he is always there for me, no matter what. Do you know what he said when I called him crying over that job yesterday? "They are idiots to not hire you and if that's how they conduct themselves then you don't want to work for them anyway." Everyone needs people like this in their lives. I am lucky.
2. I am thankful I remembered today was street sweeping day at Miss K's house and I didn't get a ticket(again). Hey, it's the little things, right?
3. I am thankful my husband is working during the week this week and has Friday evening off. He is usually gone on Fridays and I am home alone.

What are you thankful for?

I spoke too soon

You know that saying "I spoke too soon?" Well, I did. About the job that is. The job I referred to in my last post was at the Jewish Preschool. I spent two hours a week ago Friday interviewing there, and I worked a "trial day" there last Wednesday to see if I liked it. After my 9-6 shift, the director brought me into her office and offered me the job. In fact, as I was sitting there talking to her, someone called about the position and she told them "I'm sorry. The position was just filled." She asked me to come back on Thursday and fill out the necessary paperwork so I could get on payroll. She also asked me if I could work on Thursday, but I couldn't, due to my obligation to watch Miss K. I never made it over there on Thursday to pick up the paperwork, so I called today to see if I could come by later and get it. It was at this point that I was told they had "reconsidered". She told me that a whole new slew of applicants had sent in resumes over the last four days and they wanted to "explore their options". She also told me I must have "misunderstood her" about offering me the job. I hate to be lied to. Hate it. There was no misunderstanding. She offered me the job, and for whatever reason changed her mind. I don't know why. I never will. I am so upset. I was so relieved to have finally found a job. People keep telling me that I shouldn't take this personally. I'm sorry. This feels very personal. One day I had the job, and the next day I didn't. The only thing I can think of that went wrong is that I mentioned to a co-worker that I had kidney disease. Stupid. I know that now. But it really doesn't affect my job. I'm not even sure how it came up, and it was only in passing. I tend to be a very honest person. It is hard for me to lie outright. So if so someone asks me a question about my health, I tend to answer honestly. I feel so defeated. And scared. I need to find a job in the next week. Miss K goes back to school, and then I won't be bringing home any income at all. It will be okay. I know that. I'll pick myself up and move on. I always do. I just wish everything didn't have to be so difficult.

I'm Back

I am back from my break. I think. I'm going to take it slow. Probably post every other day or so. I did a lot of thinking about what I want this blog to be about. It isn't going to be the dumping spot that it once was. I'm going to try to focus on the positive things in my life. But it isn't going to be all fairies and rainbows either, because that just isn't' the kind of person I am. I wish I were. But I'm not. I can't change who I am. But I certainly can try to look on the bright side a little more often. This has been quite possibly the hardest four months of my life. I thought nothing would ever come close to the twelve months after I lost my Mom, but this did, in terms of stress levels and depression go. It was such a hard decision for me to leave my last job. It was something I had wanted to do for a few years, but didn't have the courage. I felt "stuck" there. Finally deciding to leave was scary. At that same time all that was going on, I had life changing surgery. Surgery that I had been putting off for years. I had to let go of any hope of ever having a biological child. It was so final. Soon after the recovery from that was complete, we lost our baby. Our dog Tess, who we had for fourteen years. I still miss her every day. In the midst of my grief, I was trying to find a job. In a completely different field than the one I had worked in for so long. It was hard. And scary. And humbling. After eleven weeks and eight job interviews it became clear that this might not be the path God wanted for me. No job offers came from that eleven weeks of hard work, sweat and tears. I was devastated. Not to mention the fact that we were financially on the brink of homelessness. We couldn't pay our bills or rent. If not for my family, I don't know where we would be now. I will be forever grateful to them for that. Finally, there was The Move. Of my gosh, The Move. That alone was a nightmare of gigantic proportions. You only know a very small part of the problems that move encountered. I probably won't ever divulge them here, because I don't ever want to relive them. I think that may have been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I fell so deep into a depression that I couldn't see the way out. All I saw was darkness. A big black, gaping hole. And the light at the top was covered. I couldn't get out of bed. I cried all the time. Every minute that I wasn't at work, I slept. I started wondering what I was doing here. Maybe it would be better if I just disappeared. Poof! Then I wouldn't have to worry anymore, or feel this pain. It was at this point that I knew I had to confide in someone how bad it had gotten. I talked to my husband and my therapist extensively. We formulated a plan. And slowly I started to come out of it. I'm still not there. Not completely. Not yet. But I will be. Slowly but surely, I'll get there. Because I have to get myself healthy for when Sophie comes. She deserves that. I deserve it. Things are starting to look up. I got a job(more on that later). We joined a gym. We only have to make it for four more weeks until my husband is back to getting his full pay. Then we can start climbing out of this financial hole we have dug ourselves into. My favorite season is coming. I love Fall. And Christmas. We now live in a brand new, shiny apartment(with granite countertops!). We have been waiting ten months now for Sophie. And although I know the wait only continues to grow, we are getting closer each month. I can feel the distance between us grow shorter each passing day. We will wait for as long as it takes. Yes, things are looking up. Way up.

I'm back. Well, sort of. Not really. Still working on stuff. Anyway, does anybody have any ideas about the following conversation that took place between me and the seven year old today? Because it really threw me for a loop. I think I handled it okay. First a little information about what's been going on. I received a job offer from a Preschool. I have gone on two interviews, and worked one full day there. They offered me the job. It is not certain yet wether or not I will accept the job. There are so many factors to consider. I have a whole other post on this coming in the next few days. Miss K accompanied me on one of the job interviews, so she has seen and been to the school. I did not watch her on Wednesday so I could do a trial run at the new school. The next day, I am sitting at the computer when Miss K wakes up and comes to sit in the office with me. The following conversatiion took place:

Miss K: "Did you like your job interview yesterday?"
Me: "Yes. I think it went very well. I might take the job"
Miss K "I bet it was scary."
Me(puzzled) "Why do you say that?"
Miss K "Because of all the Jewish people there."
Me "Huh? Why would that be scary? They are just people. Like you and me. No difference."
Miss K "I know. But they're Jewish." And she physically shudders!

At this point I am dumbfounded. And angry. Where would a seven year old pick up something like this? To my knowledge, her parents don't feel this way. I asked her to leave the office so I could finish up an e-mail. What I really needed was time to calm down and process what just happened and come up with something appropriate to say to a seven year old about tolerance.
When I came out of the office we sat down and had a long talk about how people are the same, no matter what their religious beliefs. I explained to her that the school I interviewed at was the same as her school, only they had younger children and a synagogue instead of a church.
I thought I had made my point and I got up to go into the kitchen. I asked her if she understood what I had said. Her response?

"Yeah. But they're still scary."

ARRRRRRGH!!!! Did she listen to a word I said?This is where I let my anger show a little bit and told her I don't want to hear that again. It simply is not O.K. People come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They have different beliefs. It does not make them any different than us. I asked her how she would feel if someone said to her "You're Catholic? Ewwwww!". Do you know what she said? "Why would they say that?" I said "Because not everyone in the world is Catholic." "I'm not Catholic." To which she simply replied "Oh. Can I ride my scooter now?" Sigh. I'm not sure if she got the point but I'm fairly certain she won't be making any negative comments again. She did understand that it upset me, even if she didn't get why. I know I am going to have to face more of these issues when Sophie comes home. I hope I have the patience and understanding to teach people tolerance without letting it upset me.


P.S. I have a whole post coming about my feelings about teaching at a Jewish school when I am not Jewish. Half the staff there is not Jewish, so I won't feel like the odd man out. It is simply a matter of educating myself and learning the curriculum, just like I would at any other school. After all, I worked at a Catholic school for fourteen years and I am not Catholic.

I decided to take Shelley's advice and delete all posts and comments from anonymous. I don't need more negativity in my life. I make enough of my own. I am still taking a break. I am emotionally and physically drained. This weekend I am very blessed to be up in San Francisco visiting my sister and the kids. Gracie and Cameron are having a combined birthday today at Pump it Up. Getting away from the stuff I have been dealing with at home is a relief. Next week is crazy busy and I am just not feeling like I can handle it right now. Three job interviews plus a district proficiency test. I will have to muster up the strength to make it through.

I need to take a break. I'm thinking of shutting down completely. I started another private blog where I can vent. This blog is supposed to be about the journey to our daughter. Aside from our camping trip, the last three or four weeks of posts have been complaining, or depressing, and negative. This isn't how I live my life on a daily basis. I get up, and I go to work, and I do fun things with the little girl that I watch. I spend time with my husband. I create things. I enjoy life, for the most part. I don't think that comes through on this blog.

But I suffer from depression.It affects every aspect of my life. It is a constant battle for me. I hate that. It affects my thought patterns and makes it hard for me to see things clearly.
Lately I have been having a rough time. Very rough. My husband and I finally sat down last night and I poured it all out for him. I cried and cried and cried. For over an hour. There was so much that he didn't know, because I hadn't told him. I hadn't told anyone. I need some time to get better. To get some help. I didn't realize how much being unemployed and unable to find a job was going to affect me. It is affecting every aspect of my life. Financially. Emotionally. Physically. I have been teetering on the edge for a couple of months now, and the move was what finally put me over. I am finding that I just can't cope. So I'm taking some time to regroup, and re-evaluate, and try to get to a better place. Because the place I am right now is dark. And scary. I'll still be around, reading other blogs. But when I come back, this blog will be different. Thanks for following along. I am glad to have the support of this community. It truly has helped me the last two years.

We still are not completely done moving. Can you believe it? It is day five of the nightmare move and we still are not done. We are mostly moved into our new apartment, but not completely moved out of the old one. Okay, that made no sense. What I mean is, we still have some junk at the old apartment that needs to be gone through and thrown away, we need to clean it up, and put one more coat of primer on the wall we painted red. I don't think we'll be painting any walls in the new apartment red. It is kind of a pain to have to repaint in the midst of a move. Our cable, phone and internet should be turned on today, so that's a good thing. I'm ready for things to get back to normal. The job that I interviewed for on Friday did call. I didn't get it. I also didn't get the job that I interviewed for yesterday. I showed up for the interview, filled out the paperwork and was brought back to start the interview. It was quite intimidating. They led me into a room and had me sit in a chair at the front of the room while the entire staff sat in a circle around me and the doctor(chiro) started asking me questions. They got to the fourth question, which was how late are you available to work? I had written six o'clock. Apparently they need someone to stay until eight. Actually they are looking for someone to work a split shift from 8:00-11:00 and 3:00-8:00. Ummm, no thanks. I like to have a life aside from my job. I wish they had put that in the ad. I never would have applied. Oh well. I'm not going to lie. Between the wasted interview and the rejection from the other job, it stung a little. Okay, a lot. But I had myself a good cry, and I'm ready to continue looking today. I have three weeks until Miss K goes back to school and then I am out of a job completely. Please let me find a job before then. Here is something I found on Red MaryJane's site, and it spoke to me so I'm posting it here. It might be up for awhile. I am feeling another blogger's break coming on, at least until I find a job and we get settled into our new place.

Let day two of The Nightmare Move now commence! Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and prayers. I know this will pass. I just wish it would pass a little bit quicker! We have to be out of the old apartment by tomorrow, so come Hell or high water, the actual moving part will be done by then. Then it is on to the unpacking......Blah. Do you know that the majority of the fights that my hubby and I have been having is about the amount of useless crap that we own and are putting into boxes and schlepping over to our brand new, shiny apartment? I don't want to schlepp it over there. I want to schlepp it right out to the trash. Or Freecycle it. (If you haven't heard of this, you should look into it. You post stuff you don't want anymore on their website and people come right to your door and take it from you. It rocks!) He wants to keep it all. He says he needs it. Most of it is his stuff that we schlepped over here from the house we rented seven years ago. I'm telling you, he has a problem. We have fought on and off since then about it sitting around in boxes(out on the patio, in the baby's room, filling every closet), but for some reason now it enrages me that we have to still deal withy stuff that in my eyes, we do not need.UGH! I am annoyed just typing it. My brother just called and he is on his way over to help us move so I have to get going. Keep those prayers coming!

I just came from another job interview. I so want this job. It is everything that I want in a job. I'm afraid to get my hopes up. I haven't received a call back on any of the last four interviews I have gone on so far. It is so dissapointing. I'm going to try not to think about it. Other than that, my life is a shambles right now. Literally. Boxes and crap everywhere. Joe and I have been fighting non stop. I wonder how many moving experiences have ended in divorce? Ours may be the first one. Oh, and you know something you shouldn't do when you are in the middle of moving? Schedule job interviews. Because in the middle of being sweaty and gross and yelling at your husband and shedding copious tears(don't ask), you have to get dressed up and look presentable and smile and act like everything is just fine and dandy and no, I'm not a freak, so please hire me. Please. Yeah. I can't wait till this move is done. Can. Not. Wait. Please pray for me. For both my job situation and my sanity. Thank you.

Sick

Well, I managed to make myself sick. It started with what I thought was a migrane yesterday. Then last night I had a fever and chills. I woke up this morning feeling like I had been run over by a truck. I had to call in sick and I haven't been able to do one thing all day. There is still sooooooo much to do. How I wish I could wave a magic wand and have this move be done. Poof! Just like that. Wouldn't that be great? The good news is that I am feeling better now, so hopefully I can at least help with some organizing of things tomorrow while Joe starts moving. I am hoping my brother can come and help us out on Saturday with the big items like the entertainment center and couches. Must call him. Right now everywhere I look I see boxes and piles of stuff. What is all this stuff and why do we need it? Seriously. Time to purge. I'm gonna go pack up the baby's room now. Fun.

My job interview was cancelled because they hired someone else who interviewed before me. Lovely. I have had a migraine all day. We are moving in two days and half the house isn't packed. UGH! Tomorrow will be better. It has to be.

It is seven o'clock at night and guess what I just did? I just woke up! After sleeping for two and a half hours! Miss K and I spent the afternoon at the pool, and then I dropped her off at her Mom's work. I was feeling very drowsy while we were there. I didn't even go in the water, which is so unlike me. Anyway, I got home around four-thirty and Joe was in the shower. I laid down on the bed to wait for him and tell him about my day. The next thing I know, he is waking me up telling me he is going to get more boxes, and it is seven o' clock! Now I know something is wrong with me. I have to be coming down sick or something. I simply do not sleep for two hours every evening. Either that or I am falling into that depressive hole again due to all of the stress. I have two more interviews this week. I am trying to remain hopeful and have a positive attitude. Fuzz and Fuzzlet commented on the last post that possibly my boss is not giving me good references. Unfortunately this is entirely possible. We always had a tumultuous relationship, and although I left there on fairly good terms, she was quite angry at me for leaving, and felt that I scheduled my surgery at the last minute just so I could use all of my sick pay. She really isn't allowed to say anything other than that I worked there, and for how long. She isn't supposed to give any info regarding my job performance, but then again she never was the smartest or most professional boss. I truly hope this isn't the case though. There is not much I can do about it, and I'm going to think positively and hope it isn't true. I must go. I have to pack. It is never ending.

You know what's really depressing? When you are scouring the boards looking for a job and you see a brand new posting for a job you already interviewed for three weeks ago. They still haven't found someone. But they don't want you. Hmph. It is hard not to take it personally and wonder what you did wrong. Oh well. Thanks for the comments. I did apply at my local school district, but as of now they have only three jobs available and I have to go and take the test, which is held in the morning and I can't do it right now because of my temporary job during the day. I also tried several temp agencies but they say they can't help me because either they don't place for the medical field or because I have no experience. Sigh.

Manic Monday

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it wasn't a good day, it being Monday and all. Mondays are supposed to be bad, right? Ugh. What a rotten day. I am so discouraged and frustrated with trying to find a job. I send out fifteen resumes a week(at least). Most of these say "No experience needed. We will train". Then how come they won't train me? Most of the time I don't even get a response. I have gone on five interviews. I have not gotten a call back on any of them. Is there something wrong with me? Do I not interview well? I have gone on many interviews in the childcare field over the last fourteen years, and I was offered all of the jobs. Every single one. I don't get it. This is really doing a number on my self esteem. I am starting to think there is something terribly wrong with me. I am about to throw in the towel and start applying to preschools and childcare centers. Even though I can't see myself doing that anymore. Not to mention I physically think I just can't do it. But I need to start bringing in more money. Now. We simply can't live like this for much longer. We can't pay our bills. I cried myself to sleep last night. In the middle of all of this we have to move in four days. Most of our stuff is not packed. There is so much to do and I feel so overwhelmed. When I came home today I lost it because Joe hadn't gotten more done(he had today off), and we got in a huge screaming fight. Well, I screamed. He mostly just tried to stay out of my way. I actually threw something. I didn't throw it at him, but still. That's how pissed I was. Then I went into the bedroom and cried. And cried some more. And then I fell asleep. At five o' clock! I slept for an hour! I have been so tired lately. My eyes are practically swollen shut now. I am actually looking forward to going to bed in an hour because when I am sleeping I don't have to think about any of this. Sigh. (Yes, I do realize that is a sign of depression. I'm depressed, okay?)

Happy Birthday Cameron!

Today is my nephew's 6th birthday. Wow. I remember the day he was born. My sister had a very difficult labor and he was born through an emergency C-section after twenty four hours of labor. I remember thinking "If this is how labor is, then I don't ever want to do it!" I think God took that thought a little too seriously. Heh. Anyway, he was such a cute little guy(er, I mean big. Nine pounds!) that shortly after his birth Joe and I decided we needed our own little one, and started trying soon after. You all know how that turned out. Anyway, Happy Birthday Cameron! Uncle Joe and Aunt Michelle love you!

Thinking

I have a lot of thinking to do, and some decisions to make. The meeting with the School last night went well. I don't think it is doable right now though. The funny thing is, it isn't the financial part that is holding me back. No, they were able to come up with a very comfortable financial aid plan for me. The part I'm not sure about is that it is a ten month accelerated course, and I would have to attend school from 6:30 p.m.-10:30 p.m. Monday -Thursday! If you read this blog, you know that I go to bed no later than 9:30 every night. If I don't get to bed by then, I am literally falling asleep on the couch. There is no way I could go to school until 10:30 every night. I am already supposed to be getting more sleep than I am because of the Kidney disease. I have to work full time too, and when you add in time for studying, I don't think there are enough hours in the day or even in the week. I know I could take classes at my local comunity college, but the classes are so long, and I would only be able to take a couple every semester. It took me four and a half years to get my last two year degree! So I am kind of overwhelmed right now. I have two job interviews next week and I pray something comes of them. I don't have to make a decision regarding school right now. But soon, because most of the schools around here will be starting up in late August. Decisions, decisions.

More camping pics-an undiscovered beach

More camping pics-coastline, bridge, dunes

More camping pics-the beach

More camping pics-old cemetary

Camping pics: cool cemetary

I'm going back to School

Yup, you read right. I just decided. Right this minute. My husband doesn't even know yet! I just made appointment for this evening with a local Tech school to take classes in Medical assisting and billing. It is only fifteen minutes from my house, and they have classes both online and in the evenings. I figure if I am going to be serious about this career change, I ought to get the required education. My degree in Early Childhood Education isn't going to help me much in this field. Most programs are between six months and eighteen months in length. That should give me plenty of time to finish and get a good job before Sophie comes home. I am really excited! Now I just have to figure out how to pay for it................small, insignifigant detail! :)

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming

Please disregard the previous post. I really should just remove it. I'm not even sure where it came from. It is just something that has been rolling around in my big empty head lately. I didn't write it to solicit comments. But thanks to those that did. I read a lot of blogs, and really only comment on a few. The thing is for me though, is once I start reading, I keep on reading. I don't take blogs off of my blogroll because I don't like what they are saying, or don't like the "vibe" of their blog. Nope, once I put you on my bloglines, you are there for life! :) Okay, this topic has gone on much longer than I wanted it to. It is Thursday already! How about that? The week is hurtling by at warp speed. Taking Monday and Tuesday off will do that, I guess! Well, off to find a job. (Did you notice I didn't say look for a job? That's because I am going to find one. And soon.)

Do you ever wonder

This question is just for you bloggers out there. The ones who actually have blogs. Do you ever wonder why people who used to read your blog don't anymore?(Even though you still read theirs) Or people who used to comment on your blog stopped commenting?(Even though you still comment on theirs) Do you ever feel like you did something to cause this? I think I need to get rid of my Stat counter if these are the kinds of questions it conjurs. I don't have my blog because I want to be popular, or get the most comments. I think the most comments I ever received was twelve. And it doesn't matter. It really doesn't. But sometimes I wonder what happened to certain readers, or why people don't comment more. My guess is that it is because my blog isn't the "happy" blog, where everything is sunshine and roses. We've been having a rough time of it lately, and I am brutally honest about it. That leads to some depressing stuff and I think people don't really want to hear it. That's just my guess. Or, as Joe would put it "Not everything is about Me", and people have lives and are busy and don't have time to comment on everyone's blogs. He always has a way of putting things into perspective, doesn't he? Time to go check my Stat counter! (I am kidding. I only check that thing like once a month or so. I was just missing some people who used to visit and don't anymore)

Home

Yup, we made it safely home. I am none too happy about it either. I even shed a little tear when we left yesterday. It is just so beautiful there and I was so not looking forward to coming home to the job hunting, and the upcoming move, and the bills we can't pay. Why can't vacations last forever? :) Oh, and just FYI, 8 straight hours in the car is too many. I think we both wanted to kill each other by the time we got home last night. I took a shower and promptly went to bed. And I am still tired. But I have three phone calls to return regarding jobs, so I have to do that. If I don't find something this week I am going to a Temp agency on Monday. We simply aren't making it without my income and I need to start bringing in some money now. We have just barely enough to cover the rent this month, with nothing left over. Bad timing for a trip, I know, but I needed it. And we had the. best. time. I wish I could share some of the two hundred and seventy pictures I took, but I packed away the cord for my camera, so it will have to wait until I can borrow a card reader so I can get them onto my computer. My sister has a few up on her site, so go here if you want to see them.