Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I need to take a break. I'm thinking of shutting down completely. I started another private blog where I can vent. This blog is supposed to be about the journey to our daughter. Aside from our camping trip, the last three or four weeks of posts have been complaining, or depressing, and negative. This isn't how I live my life on a daily basis. I get up, and I go to work, and I do fun things with the little girl that I watch. I spend time with my husband. I create things. I enjoy life, for the most part. I don't think that comes through on this blog.

But I suffer from depression.It affects every aspect of my life. It is a constant battle for me. I hate that. It affects my thought patterns and makes it hard for me to see things clearly.
Lately I have been having a rough time. Very rough. My husband and I finally sat down last night and I poured it all out for him. I cried and cried and cried. For over an hour. There was so much that he didn't know, because I hadn't told him. I hadn't told anyone. I need some time to get better. To get some help. I didn't realize how much being unemployed and unable to find a job was going to affect me. It is affecting every aspect of my life. Financially. Emotionally. Physically. I have been teetering on the edge for a couple of months now, and the move was what finally put me over. I am finding that I just can't cope. So I'm taking some time to regroup, and re-evaluate, and try to get to a better place. Because the place I am right now is dark. And scary. I'll still be around, reading other blogs. But when I come back, this blog will be different. Thanks for following along. I am glad to have the support of this community. It truly has helped me the last two years.


M3 said...

Take all the time you need sweetie. Sending you good wishes and thoughts. Life is so hard sometimes, and we all need regrouping time. Take good care of yourself.

Kayce said...

Michelle...hang in there! You're doing the right thing by taking care of yourself. We'll all be here when you want to come back.

Shelley said...

Michelle, I know you have been through a rough time, and I think it's very positive that you are focusing on changing your world.

At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that you (and Joe) work through the issues, and make things right for you and your family.

Just know that you are not alone and things WILL change ...and that you will be a better, stronger person for having had these experiences.

It will be great to hear about your triumphs once you get over the hump.

The very best of luck to you.

Take care and hugs,


Anonymous said...

God Bless You! Take care of yourself and I will be looking forward to your return. Sending prayers for your healing.

Mary McG
in TN

Kylie's momma said...

Good luck Michelle! And do what YOU Need to do! You're what's important right now. Thinking of you as you wade thru your darkness.And understand your need to stop and take a step back. Know we're here for you to vent. cheer or cry! Hugs from MT. Susan

Kim said...

Take care of yourself, Michelle. I'll be thinking about you.


Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

Hang in there.. Sometimes you just need a little break..
We will be waiting for you when you get back..
Take care

redmaryjanes said...

I will continue to pray for you. I hope that you are able to see that this situation you are in is not a reflection of you. I am glad that you told your husband all of your feelings and got it all out. I'm also glad that you are considering seeking help for you depression. There are things that can be done that can help you tremendously. Hang in there my friend.

Laura said...

Hugs to you Michelle! Not having a job and this excrutiating wait gets the best of us. I'm glad you were finally able to lay it all out with your hubby who I'm sure wants to help. Take care of yourself. If there's anything I can do in the cyberworld to help, let me know.

Debra Sue said...

Take care of yourself. Depression can sap the energy right out of everything. Realizing that you need a shoulder and some help is the first step to better health. Stay strong.

Joannah said...

Take care, Michelle. This too shall pass, and there's good stuff on the other side of this challenge.


Michele said...

Take the time you need to work things out. Life seems unfair at times, you CAN handle it as long as you reach out to people who support you. We will be waiting here for when you feel you want to start blogging again.

Michele, Mom to Emily and Alyssa

Kristin said...

I think a private blog is a great idea... sometimes, as I am learning, just talking about things can really take away their power...

BIG hugs to you, Michelle, and don't forget, I am close by if you ever need to chat over a cup of coffee!

Jeff and Michelle said...

Bless you. You are on the right track. Take some time to refocus, and you will come out with the sun shining!


Laura said...

I will be thinking of you. I hope that this time "off" will make you feel lots better.

We will all be here waiting for you when you are ready.