I need to take a break. I'm thinking of shutting down completely. I started another private blog where I can vent. This blog is supposed to be about the journey to our daughter. Aside from our camping trip, the last three or four weeks of posts have been complaining, or depressing, and negative. This isn't how I live my life on a daily basis. I get up, and I go to work, and I do fun things with the little girl that I watch. I spend time with my husband. I create things. I enjoy life, for the most part. I don't think that comes through on this blog.

But I suffer from depression.It affects every aspect of my life. It is a constant battle for me. I hate that. It affects my thought patterns and makes it hard for me to see things clearly.
Lately I have been having a rough time. Very rough. My husband and I finally sat down last night and I poured it all out for him. I cried and cried and cried. For over an hour. There was so much that he didn't know, because I hadn't told him. I hadn't told anyone. I need some time to get better. To get some help. I didn't realize how much being unemployed and unable to find a job was going to affect me. It is affecting every aspect of my life. Financially. Emotionally. Physically. I have been teetering on the edge for a couple of months now, and the move was what finally put me over. I am finding that I just can't cope. So I'm taking some time to regroup, and re-evaluate, and try to get to a better place. Because the place I am right now is dark. And scary. I'll still be around, reading other blogs. But when I come back, this blog will be different. Thanks for following along. I am glad to have the support of this community. It truly has helped me the last two years.