My Life Could Be A Sitcom

Sometimes the way things are going in my life I have to stop and say(out loud) "Are you kidding me?" If I tell people some of the things that happen, they look at me like I am either exaggerating or making some of it up. I assure you, I couldn't make this stuff up. So many things have happened in the last twenty four hours that the only thing I can do is give you a few of them, in "bullet" style. So here goes.
--You already know I fell down my sister's staircase and sprained my ankle. That seemed to have started things off nicely.
--I was able to get a wheelchair at the airport to get me to the gate. FYI-if you require a wheelchair at the airport, allow yourself forty-five minutes extra time to get to your gate. For some reason, they keep the wheelchairs somewhere in the airport where it takes them almost twenty-five minutes to get them to you. And then you have to go through all the extra security too. We just barely made our flight.
--If they ask you if you will be able to get to your seat without the wheelchair, tell them NO.
I foolishly told them I could "hop" to my seat, not knowing that my seat was in the fourth to the last row from the back. That is a lot of hopping. I mean really, when they saw I needed a wheelchair, they couldn't arrange for me to have a seat closer to the entrance? Ridiculous.
Of course I had to wait until all of the other passengers deplaned and hop all the way back up at the end of the flight too.
--If you have given one set of your house keys to the pet sitter, put your other set in a place where they will be easily found when you return home. We sat on our front porch for thirty minutes last night, emptying out every piece of luggage we had brought, trying to find the keys to the front door. Fun.
--When we walked in the front door, we were met with what smelled like a kennel that had not been cleaned in four days, along with a three page letter from the pet sitter explaining how our dog would not let her near her, and in fact, had bitten her on her second day there. So she left her out without any puppy pads or anything, so there was poop and pee all over the place. On our brand. New. Carpet. And not one message was left for us letting us know that there was a problem. But the check we wrote for her was gone. SIGH.
--Our cable had been turned off while we were away, because someone forgot to send the payment before we left. I have no idea who(hands in pockets, whistling as I walk a way from the computer). Anyway, none of our favorite shows had taped, and I couldn't watch the results episode of Dancing with the Stars. The Horror! Joe found an old pair of rabbit ears in the closet, and he managed to rig them up so I could watch in black and white. Hey, it's better than nothing!
--This morning when my husband tried to take my car to work, he couldn't find the car alarm thingy, (it broke and fell off my key chain last week)so he tried to get into it without it and the alarm went of for thirty minutes straight and he couldn't get it to go off so he could start it and had to take his own car.
--This evening, after we finally found the car alarm thingy and were trying to go to dinner for my husband's birthday, the battery was dead. Apparently the alarm going off for thirty minutes drains the battery. Who knew? We jumped it with his car and went off to dinner.
--I wanted to have a celebratory drink with my husband for his thirty-ninth birthday, and the waitress carded me(are you kidding me?), and I didn't have my ID with me because we just came from the airport and it was in my carry on and I didn't have my carry on with me and "are you kidding me?" So she sends the manager over to have a look at me and he proceeds to tell me that he will go ahead and give me the drink, but it is against the law you know, to serve anyone who appears to be under the age of thirty-five without an ID. By this time I am so annoyed I tell him to just FORGET IT because it is not worth the hassle and I just wanted to TOAST MY HUSBAND ON HIS THIRTY-NINTH BIRTHDAY FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!!!
He quickly brought us the drink but I was still annoyed. Sheesh.
--Now we are home, and all is right with the world, and my ankle appears to be much better, thanks for asking, and I sure hope the next few days are uneventful!


Happy Birthday Joe. I love you.