Gearing Up for Back to School

Well, the room is clean and decorated, the crayons are brand new, and the toys and games are all in their places. All that's missing is the kids. Today was Kindergarten orientation. The children met their teachers and stopped by to check out their new childcare center. These kids are coming from Preschool, so their parents are nervous and have a million questions. The kids themselves are fine. Once they see the toys, they start playing and forget about their parents. No, it's the parents that need the reassuring. I'm actually looking forward to the school year starting. Mostly because the teachers are back on campus. During the summer it is just me and the bunch of idiots I work with. I look forward to having contact with people who are professional and intelligent. I know that sounds harsh, but you just have no idea the mentality of my co-workers. It is that bad. I'm feeling a little down. Usually this time of month makes me happy. I love when referrals come out. Seeing all of those sweet faces usually makes me feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And while I'm thrilled for the bloggers that I read that received their referrals(Do I even need to link to Mary Mia's site? I think not. Talk about great news!) the amount of referrals that were sent out has me down. So do the rumors about new changes coming. We're still waiting on our I171. At this point I really have no idea when we could be LID(if ever). For the first time since starting this process(almost a year ago), I am having doubts. Not about the adoption, but about China. We chose China because I have a beautiful, amazing niece that was adopted from there. I was able to travel with my sister and family to meet her, and knew right then that was what we were meant to do. I truly felt that God had chosen this path for us. And then the CCAA started slowing down their referrrals. That's O.K., we thought. We need the extra time anyway. That's when we thought the wait would be 8-10 months instead of six. Then the wait went to a year. Still O.K. And now with the amount of referrals that were sent out this month, who knows how long we'll be waiting? Realistically it could go to two years. And even if the wait stays at one year, there is talk about new regulations that would exclude us from being able to adopt at all. What if this isn't the right path? I'm afraid this won't really happen for us. That at the end of all of this waiting, there won't be a baby. I don't know if I can handle that kind of dissapointment, especially after everything we have been through in the last four years. So I'm feeling a little insecure about the whole process. And I'm tired of waiting to wait. I just want my LID already.