Tuesday, May 01, 2007
I'm feeling kind of Blah. Tuesdays tend to do that to me. Not Mondays. Tuesdays. I don't know why. I'm living for the weekends right now, and counting down my last days at work, and my surgery(seven to go!). I was talking to one of my Moms today. She is going to coordinate people to bring me meals for a week after I come home from the hospital. This will be a Godsend for Joe, because I vaguly remember refusing to eat something Joe made for me after my last surgery because I was cranky and in so much pain. He was none too happy. At least these meals will be completely prepared and he can just pop them in the oven. It was during the conversation with this Mother that I realized I will be coming home from the hospital on Mother's Day. How ironic. The very first Mother's Day that I have wanted to celebrate since my Mom died and I will be recovering from surgery. Yay me. Sigh. I am a master planner, I am. I never was very good with dates. I had a dream about Sophie the other night. My very first dream about my daughter. It was so real. It was one of those dreams where it is so real and so good that you want to cry when the alarm goes off and it is over and you realize it was just a dream. It was that good. Here's the strange part. She was not Chinese. In my very real dream, Sophie was very obviously not Chinese. It wasn't that she looked like us. My dreams about bilogical children always included babies with pale skin and a shock of red hair, like my husband had as a child. No, she was obviously adopted, with dark skin and beautiful, large, round brown eyes, and dark hair. But in the dream she was my daughter. And I was her Mom. There was no mistaking that. I know this means nothing. Yet it was strange. It was wierd to realize when I woke up that that this child was my daughter, yet not from the country we chose. Maybe this means we'll adopt again? Who knows. All I know is I hope there are many more dreams like that to come. It was beautiful.