Friday, May 18, 2007
Thank you to those of you who have been through this and left comments. It helps me so much. Today is slightly better. I still am feeling very emotional. I had to turn off Gray's Anatamy last night and go to bed because I could not stop crying. Is it my imagination, or does every single storyline on that show include a pregnant person? My favorite is the one about the chief's wife being pregnant. His fifty-two year old wife. Whatever. I have been crying a lot today. I woke up crying. Joe isn't sure what's going on, or quite what to do about it. I had been perfectly fine up until yesterday. I am taking Estrogen in the form of the patch, and it is possible we haven't found the right dose yet. I only just started taking it. I have been worrying quite a lot about our financial situation these last few days. I think in the first couple of days home from the hospital I was so drugged up I wasn't thinking or worrying about anything. As that cloudiness dissapates, I find myself obsessing over the fact that I'm not sure we can pay our rent next month, and I don't have a job. I'll get one more full paycheck before the disability kicks in. Joe's classes are ending next week and his summer class doesn't start until the middle of June. I know it is doing no good for me to worry about these things but when you are sitting at home, in pain, with nothing but the television for distraction, there is not a lot I can do to control it. Joe has to work tonight, so I'll be flying solo for the first time since the surgery. He is a little worried about my emotional status, but I just smile and tell him I am just fine. I can tell he doesn't believe it. But he has to go to work. One of us ought to.