Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Tonight I Wanna Cry
Sigh. That pretty much sums up how I am feeling today. Big sigh. Wrapping things up at work, still trying to figure out how to solve Big Financial Fiasco, and freaking out big time over my surgery. Yeah, good times. I saw the nephrologoist today. At least I waited until he left the room before I burst into tears this time. That's progress. I guess. The bottom line is the protein leak from my kidneys is getting considerably worse. Which means the kidney disease is no longer in remission. I stayed in remission for all of five months, which the doctor says is quite common with my type of kidney disease. If we cannot control the protein leak, my kidneys will start to degenerate much quicker than we would like. Not that I would like them to degenerate at all. But apparently I don't get a say in the matter. I gained half of the weight back that I lost. He was not at all happy about that. I, myself am thrilled with it(insert sarcasm here). I don't know if you have ever had to sit on a examination table while a doctor tells you that you are entirely too fat, but it is a party, let me tell you. I have been in a lot of pain and have not been walking. I have been on my period since Easter. Easter. I don't even know how many days that is, but it is a long time. And I'm sick of it. Two more days before my period ceases forever. Maybe that will be worth all of the pain and aggravation of the surgery. I am in one bad mood and am going to drown my sorrows in chocolate chip cookies(weight be damned). You know that country singer Keith Urban's song "Tonight I Want to Cry"? Well, that'll be me. I hope you all are having a better week than I.