Happy Halloween!

Not a lot of going on around here for Halloween. In fact, I have no plans at all. Since I don't work with kids anymore, there will be no parties or crafts or anything(we didn't allow costumes at our school). I'm off today, and Joe is working tonight, so this Halloween will be pretty uneventful. No trick-or-treaters come by our apartment, so it will be a pretty quiet night. Halloween makes me a little bit sad. It is truly one of those holidays that centers around children, and I don't have one of those. Sometimes it feels like I never will. Every year we say "Maybe next year we'll have Sophie to share in the Halloween fun". Then next year rolls around and Nope, not yet. I'm tired of "Not Yet". At the rate it's going, it could be two more Halloweens before we have our daughter. Gosh, I started this post just to update you on my lack of Halloween plans, and then I turned all maudlin on you. Sorry 'bout that. I'm done feeling sorry for myself now. Hope you all have a wonderful day. Oh, you wanna see something funny? Go here. I stole it from Kylie's Mom. It cracked me up!

Bloggy Parade of Homes Halloween Style

I promised Shannon over at Bless Your Heart that I would post pictures of my Halloween decorations today, and then I forgot! Then, when I tried last night Blogger wouldn't let me(grrrrrr). So here they are. Better late than never, I suppose.


My front porch. I kept it kind of simple this year. Last year I went to town with the fake spiderwebs, but they were a pain to remove, so I skipped them this year. I think I'll put them up again next year, becasue it looks rather bare without them.
















Spooky chandelier hanging over our coffee table. I decorate it differently for every season. I got this obsession for holidays from my Mom:)



















Cute Tole painted Witch one of the kids gave me one year.


















Plaster ghosts my Mom painted many years ago.
My Dad gave them to me after my Mom died.











Creepy skull that glows in the dark paired with cute ceramic pumpkin.

I don't have much today. I'm tired. Work is going better. I think I am improving, although I did make a couple of mistakes today. That's normal right? There will never be a time when I do everything perfectly. It just pisses me off that I try so hard not to make the mistakes, yet I still do. That's all I got. Told you it wasn't much. Did I mention I'm tired?
Here are my three thanks for today:
1) I finally received something in the mail today that I have been anticipating for two months. Finally.
2) My sister and I are planning a little trip over Thanksgiving. It's a bit unconventional for Thanksgiving, but I think it is going to be so much fun(look for travel details to come in your e-mail soon Dad!) I'll post more when I get more details.
3) I am thankful that fires seem to be contained and the smoke smell is diminishing. The smell was very strong and it made me a bit queasy, not to mention my allergies are out of control.

My husband is working tonight so I'm off to see him on his break.

The following conversation took place at my house last night.
The scene:
I am sitting out on the couch waiting for Joe to get ready to go to the movies. He is in the bedroom. I hear him calling my name.
Me:(not moving from the couch) "WHAT?"
Him: Could you come back here for a minute?
I walk into the back bathroom, where he is standing in front of the mirror.
Me: "What is it?'
Him: (Pointing to the electrical outlet where he plugs his beard trimmer in. I have unplugged it to plug my hairdryer in.) "Do you think that when you are done using the hair dryer in the morning you could try and remember to plug my beard trimmer back in? Everytime I go to use it, it is not charged."
Me: "Ummmm...Sure. I could try to remember to do that."
Him: " Thanks"
I walk back out into the living room. After a few minutes I call his name.
Him:(From the bathroom) "WHAT?"
Me: "Could you come out here for a minute?"
He walks out to the living room. "Yes?" He asks.
I take him in to the kitchen, where every single kitchen cupboard is standing open.
Me: "Do you think that when you get something out of the kitchen cupboard you could close the doors when you are done?"
He smiles and slowly nods his head. "Well Played."
Me: "Thanks".

Date Night

My husband has a rare Friday night off. We're going to the movies. And maybe dinner. We'll see how it goes. I don't want to put myself into shock by doing too many things on the same night! We very rarely go out. And never at night. We're like two senior citizens. The other day, after all of those doctor's appointments, we found ourselves picking up dinner at four thirty. Four. Thirty. I'm pretty sure no one ordered the senior special though. Or maybe Joe did. I don't know. Sometimes I don't pay attention. But I digress. So we're going to the movies. We're going to see Dan in Real Life. I'm not usually a movie kind of girl. I have a short attention span. Usually about halfway through a movie I find my mind wandering and I start thinking about the hundreds of things I could be doing instead of sitting in a dark room. I also hate crowds. And sitting that close to a stranger. In a chair that is never cleaned. But I'm not an anti-social freak. I swear. My husband, on the other hand, loves the movies. He loves nothing better than to spend all day sitting in a dark room, losing himself in the story taking place on screen. So we compromise. We go to the movies a couple of times a month. Always after the movie has been out for a few weeks, and always during the day when it is cheaper. Once in a blue moon a movie preview will strike my fancy and I'll feel the urge to go see it right away, because I am sure I will love it. I don't listen to movie critics. I decide purely from the trailer. It's like judging a book by its cover, I know. But it works for me for the most part. Dan in Real Life was one such movie that appealed to me the moment I saw the preview. So we're headed out right now to see it. I hope it's not too crowded. I'll let you know what I think(without spoiling any major plot points). TGIF!

Okay, I'm going to finally start up with my Three Thanks again. I don' t know why it is so easy to let things that I know are important slip. Today was a loooong day. We had our CPR recertification class right after work, so I was there from eight-thirty this morning until almost eight-thirty at night. That is far too long to be at work. But I'm home now. Alone. Sniff. Joe is working tonight. The good news is that he isn't working tomorrow night. Yay! Oh, get this. You know how yesterday was a tiring day and I got all of those doctor's appts. out of the way? Well I'm not sure what happened, but about a half hour after I got my flu shot I started not feeling so good. Kind of tired and achy, with a headache. After I came home and wrote last night's post, I went in a took a shower. When I got out I was so sleepy that I told Joe I was going to go and lay in bed and read a magazine. At 6:30. By 7:15 I was dead asleep and I didn't get up until this morning at seven o'clock! Can you believe that? Although it is true that people with my type of kidney disease consistently need ten or more hours of sleep per night(yeah, that's gonna happen), I honestly don't think I have ever gone to bed(and sleep!) at seven fifteen. I think it may have been a reaction to the flu shot because my arm was hurting and I felt pretty lousy overall. I feel just fine today. Weird. At least I'm well rested! It's only nine o'clock now and I'm about ready to turn in for the night. Here are my Three Thanks:
1. I am thankful that the fires in my neck of the woods seem to be lessening. The winds have died down too.
2. I'm thankful my husband isn't working a Friday night this week.
3. I'm thankful to have been logged in for a whole year already. Regardless of how long this wait gets, we have one year behind us. Considering the obstacles we faced in even gettin gto DTC, that feels like quite an accomplishment.

Put a Fork in me. I'm Done.

For today anyway. This has been one long, exhausting day, let me tell you. Since it isn't easy for me to take off of work early to go to the multitude of doctors appointments that I require, I have been making my appointments for my day off. So today I had scheduled a appt. with my OBGYN. It was just a follow up for my hysterectomy, no biggie. Well while I was there he decided he should do a thorough checkup, which I wasn't expecting, so I had to have a pelvic exam. Fun. And then he looked at my chart and realized I had missed my last mammomgram(Bad. I know). So I decided to call right there in the car to make my appointment. I flipped my datebook open to February, because they are always booked a good four months in advance, when she says "I have an opening today. Can you make it?" Of course I could. It's my day off after all. So after a stop at home for something to eat I headed over there for my annual squishing. I had also previously made an appointment to see the kidney doctor, so I headed right over there after my mammogram. The news is good from the kidney doc too. My kidney disease appears to be in remission still, saving me from the evil that is Prednisone for another few months. And while I was in the office they asked me if I would like to get a Flu shot, so I had that too. So all of my girl parts have been checked out and declared healthy, as well as some of my inside parts too. My arm is a little bit sore, and I am tired and ready for bed at six p.m. So much for my day off!


P.S. There are a couple of other body parts of mine that are sore too, but I'll save you the details of that. Heh.
P.S.S. Twelve months baby!

As you all probably know already, things are pretty scary in my neck of the woods right now. If you are the praying type, please send some our way. For the firefighters. For the winds to die down. For the thousands of people who have been displaced and/or lost their homes. I am very fortunate in that the fires have not affected me all that much, aside from the overpowering smell of smoke that has permeated my house, the burning eyes, and the hassle that has been my commute since Monday. These things are all minimal compared to what others have endured, and for that I am lucky. Here are a few pictures that I took to give you a little bit of an idea how close to home this has hit for me.


Here is the view out the window from my desk at work on a normal(albeit, smoggy) day:

















Here was the view yesterday:

Taken from the exact same spot at my desk. You can't even see the mountains through the smoke.



















Here was my view today:
(Looking out at the hills to the left of the previous mtns., but still from my desk.)
This is a little too close for comfort for me. They evacuated homes just two blocks from the office that I work in. Even though I had a couple of co-workers that were quite nervous about the proximity of the flames, the doctor said we would stay until we were told to go.


















And lastly, here is a picture of the sunset I snapped on my way home from work today. The smoke causes the vibrant colors. It almost seems wrong to find a bit of beauty among the tragedies that have occurred.














I pray that these fires go out soon.

Something Strange is Going on around my House

The strangest things just happened. First I noticed a bee in the house. It was buzzing around the lampshade. I calmly(ha!) mentioned it to my husband, and he took care of it. Then I saw another one! Wierd! And then! A wasp! In my house! And then another one! I'll stop with the exclamation points now. As soon as Joe killed one, another one would appear. I was really freeaking out at this point. Where are they coming from? What do they want from us? Then I realized they were crawling in through the doggy door. Eeeeeewwwww......it's like something from a horror movie! Of course we removed the doggy door immediately, and killed all remaining insects in the house. Are they coming inside to escape the smoke? The smoke is pretty thick out there. If anyone knows, please share. It is creeping me out.

There is a large fire burning pretty close to my house. The smoke and ashes are terrible. The smell is overwhelming. I closed all of the windows, but it still smells like a campfire in our living room. Joe said I should try and pretend we are camping. He's a funny guy, my husband. I know we are not in any real danger, but it is scary. I pray no firefighters are injured or houses lost. It may affect my commute tomorrow, as the toll road I take to work is closed at the moment. I wish the wind would stop. Other than that, it was a nice day. I had breakfast with two of my friends that I met through an infertility support group I attended two summers ago. There were five of us originally. One girl got pregnant and dropped out(her loss), two became preganant after IVF, and the other one is pursuing domestic adoption. Only the three of us live locally still, and we try to get together every three or four months or so. Jenny has the handsomest little boy, and Lynn has the cutest little baby girl I have ever met. I would post pictures, but I don't have permission and I won't post pictures of other people's children without their consent. You'll just have to take my word for it. Extreme cuteness. I managed to shake off the insecurity and negative vibe I had from the last two days of work. My motto this week is going to be "Suck it up." Oh yeah, and "Stop making stupid mistakes". Hope your Sunday was good.

The New Look

I have to give a shout out to Verna for the beautiful new look of the blog. I am so happy with the way it turned out. If you are thinking about having a blog makeover, consider having Verna do it for you. All the funds she gets right now are going to help bring little Ethan home to the Shockley family. Check out her link on the right. I'm still in the process of adding back in all of the links I had in the sidebar. Hopefully that will be done tonight.

My Life Could Be A Sitcom

Sometimes the way things are going in my life I have to stop and say(out loud) "Are you kidding me?" If I tell people some of the things that happen, they look at me like I am either exaggerating or making some of it up. I assure you, I couldn't make this stuff up. So many things have happened in the last twenty four hours that the only thing I can do is give you a few of them, in "bullet" style. So here goes.
--You already know I fell down my sister's staircase and sprained my ankle. That seemed to have started things off nicely.
--I was able to get a wheelchair at the airport to get me to the gate. FYI-if you require a wheelchair at the airport, allow yourself forty-five minutes extra time to get to your gate. For some reason, they keep the wheelchairs somewhere in the airport where it takes them almost twenty-five minutes to get them to you. And then you have to go through all the extra security too. We just barely made our flight.
--If they ask you if you will be able to get to your seat without the wheelchair, tell them NO.
I foolishly told them I could "hop" to my seat, not knowing that my seat was in the fourth to the last row from the back. That is a lot of hopping. I mean really, when they saw I needed a wheelchair, they couldn't arrange for me to have a seat closer to the entrance? Ridiculous.
Of course I had to wait until all of the other passengers deplaned and hop all the way back up at the end of the flight too.
--If you have given one set of your house keys to the pet sitter, put your other set in a place where they will be easily found when you return home. We sat on our front porch for thirty minutes last night, emptying out every piece of luggage we had brought, trying to find the keys to the front door. Fun.
--When we walked in the front door, we were met with what smelled like a kennel that had not been cleaned in four days, along with a three page letter from the pet sitter explaining how our dog would not let her near her, and in fact, had bitten her on her second day there. So she left her out without any puppy pads or anything, so there was poop and pee all over the place. On our brand. New. Carpet. And not one message was left for us letting us know that there was a problem. But the check we wrote for her was gone. SIGH.
--Our cable had been turned off while we were away, because someone forgot to send the payment before we left. I have no idea who(hands in pockets, whistling as I walk a way from the computer). Anyway, none of our favorite shows had taped, and I couldn't watch the results episode of Dancing with the Stars. The Horror! Joe found an old pair of rabbit ears in the closet, and he managed to rig them up so I could watch in black and white. Hey, it's better than nothing!
--This morning when my husband tried to take my car to work, he couldn't find the car alarm thingy, (it broke and fell off my key chain last week)so he tried to get into it without it and the alarm went of for thirty minutes straight and he couldn't get it to go off so he could start it and had to take his own car.
--This evening, after we finally found the car alarm thingy and were trying to go to dinner for my husband's birthday, the battery was dead. Apparently the alarm going off for thirty minutes drains the battery. Who knew? We jumped it with his car and went off to dinner.
--I wanted to have a celebratory drink with my husband for his thirty-ninth birthday, and the waitress carded me(are you kidding me?), and I didn't have my ID with me because we just came from the airport and it was in my carry on and I didn't have my carry on with me and "are you kidding me?" So she sends the manager over to have a look at me and he proceeds to tell me that he will go ahead and give me the drink, but it is against the law you know, to serve anyone who appears to be under the age of thirty-five without an ID. By this time I am so annoyed I tell him to just FORGET IT because it is not worth the hassle and I just wanted to TOAST MY HUSBAND ON HIS THIRTY-NINTH BIRTHDAY FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!!!
He quickly brought us the drink but I was still annoyed. Sheesh.
--Now we are home, and all is right with the world, and my ankle appears to be much better, thanks for asking, and I sure hope the next few days are uneventful!


Happy Birthday Joe. I love you.

My Middle Name is NOT Grace

As in, graceful. Because I am not. Yesterday I was going down one of the many staircases that Lisa and Scott have in their house(they live in a three story), and I tripped on a blanket, fell halfway down, and wrenched my ankle and foot. Bad. Yesterday I was able to hobble around a bit, but today it has swelled up to twice its normal size and I cannot put any weight on it a t all. So Joe has gone to Walgreen's to pick up some crutches, and it looks like I'll be needing a wheelchair at the airport today. Sometimes I think if it weren't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all.

Eleven Years

What's left to say that hasn't already been said. Eleven long years, yet it seems like only yesterday that you were here. Eleven years ago my life changed forever. Eleven years I have been without a Mom. What's left to say. I miss you Mom. Every. Single. Day. Eleven years. If you are reading this and you are able, go hug your Mom. You are lucky to have her. So very lucky.

Funny Things Heard While Watching my Niece and Nephew

The scene: We are in the car. Joe is sitting in the passenger seat(Scott was driving). Gracie has a magic wand and is waving it around, making things appear and disappear. She waves it over the back of Uncle Joe's head and says "Alacazam, alacazoo, I will grow some hair for you."
There was no coaching from me at all. I swear.


The scene:
We had just purchased Cameron a Magic Trick set from Barnes and Noble. We had opened it and I was showing him how to do some of the tricks.
After showing him how to do some coin tricks, he turns to me and says(very seriously) "Now show me how to make something disappear."
I reply "I did. We just made that coin disappear."
He says "No. Make something really disappear. Not just a trick."
I try to explain that's what magic is. Magicians do tricks, and make it look real."
He says "So I can't make something really disappear?"
"No." I say.
"Oh." he says, and looks terribly disappointed. I can't help feeling like I have somehow taken some of the wonder out of his childhood. That is until Lisa told me later how she told him there's no Santa Clause. Now I don't feel so bad.

And my absolute favorite:
We are sitting in a diner eating lunch. Gracie had ordered a hot dog. It was the biggest hot dog I have ever seen. She was clutching it in her fist, holding it vertically(I don't know why). Suddenly, out of nowhere, she holds it up in the air and says(loudly) "Hey! This is bigger than Uncle Joe!" Heh.

Things are going along swimmingly here in S.F. at the Smith household. After a fun morning spent at a Halloween Fair, Lisa and Scott took off in his new convertible to Napa. Joe and I took the kids out to our favorite pancake house and to have lunch. Well, I had lunch, but everyone else chose breakfast foods for lunch. Then it was home for a nap(Joe and Gracie), and a movie(me and Cameron). Not sure what's on the agenda for tonight. Probably Pizza for dinner, then maybe a trip to the old fashioned ice cream stand for some yummy ice cream. Then showers and bed.(for the klids). Although honestly, I'll probably be close behind. I am tired.

I Got Nothin'

Nada. Zilch. Zero. Sorry. Not much going on here. I will have something to post about this weekend though, as tomorrow night the hubs and I will be flying up to spend some time with these two monkeys. We'll be practicing out parenting skills too, so my sis and her hubs can go out of town for the night. Think good thoughts for us. :) I am way behind in my thanks. Here they are for today.

1. I am thankful to have a few days off.
2. I am thankful I get to see my niece and nephew.
3. I am thankful my husband gets to come with me. Most times he has to stay behind(although I will miss my Dad. He is usually my faithful traveling partner).

Proof that my Brain is slowly turning to Mush

The scene:
The office where I work. It is lunch time and the door is locked. I am sitting at my desk in front of the window eating my lunch(alone. sniff).

A woman comes to the door and tries to open it, but finds that it is locked.
I say to her "We're closed for lunch".
She says loudly, through the glass door
"I just need to pick up some rubber bands"
I walk over the drawer where we keep the office supplies and pull out a package of rubber bands from the drawer. "How many do you need?" I ask.
She starts laughing. "Oh, I meant for my daughter's teeth."
(Smacks self in forehead) Did I mention I work for an orthodontist?

Somebody please help me. There must be something I can take for this. If it is true that you lose your mind after you have kids, I am in so much trouble.

Halloween Crafting

I have been doing a lot of crafting lately. Partly due to the fact that I love Halloween, but I think mostly because until about a month ago all of my crafting supplies had been packed up for a good three months in anticipation of the move.
Anyway, I made some Halloween cards, and also some cute little chipboard hangers. Here are the cards. I "scraplifted" the skeleton theme and poem from a layout I saw for sale on E-bay(for $20.00!). I simply bought the same papers they used and refigured it to a card size. I am happy with the way they came out.

Finished card


















The card with the poem is removable


















Card with the poem card removed

Halloween Hangers

These are cute little Vintage Halloween Hangers. You could hang them on a small hook on the wall, or maybe on a door knob. I can't take credit for these either, as I took a class at my local scrapbook store to do these. I love the vintage feel.
Happy Halloween Hanger #1
I opted to add a vintage postcard to this one in lieu of a photo.


















Happy Halloween Hanger #2
I need to add a photo to this one.













Detail on Hanger #2

















Hanger #3 I may add a photo to this one, or another vintage postcard.


















Detail on Hanger #3

Halloween Digi Scrapping

Disneyland Fun

Three Thanks

I am still dealing with the problem that shall not be named that occurred on Sunday night. I so want it to be over with. I am not sleeping, am eating very little, and basically am just a huge ball of stress. I have one more thing to do before it is resolved, and it requires money that we don't have right now, but I don't have a choice. I have to pay it. So there is a lot of praying going on that my retirement money comes through sooner than they said it would, which is the 19th of October. Sigh. On a more positive note, we had such a horrible, terrible, awful, no good morning that we spent the rest of the afternoon and evening at Disneyland. They are having "Halloween Time" right now, and the decorations are so pretty. We are really getting a lot of use out of those annual passes, and it is nice to have a place to go and have fun without spending any money. I brought snacks and plenty of water and the only money that was spent was on a Churro(that Joe had to have). I have a ton of pictures, of course and will try to post them tomorrow.

1. I am thankful that a day that started out horrible ended nicely.
2. I am thankful for my job. It is stressful at times, but I truly do enjoy it.
3. I am thankful it is Fall. I love Fall.

Isn't it Ironic.

We just received the packet from my husband's new Health Insurance Plan with explanation of coverage. Does anyone else see the irony in the fact that his new insurance covers 90 percent of the cost of IVF? (After carrying him on my plan for fourteen years that covered not one cent of infertility treatments and three months after I have a hysterectomy). Still not feeling thankful. I will tomorrow. I promise. (Oh, and having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife is not ironic. I'm just sayin').

I didn't mean to scare you all with the previous post, but thanks for the good thoughts. I'm told that what happened on Sunday night is something I will laugh about one day. But not today. Today it still makes me want to cry. This too shall pass. I know that. I can't give my three thanks right now. I just don't have it in me.

Remember this Scripture, the one that is on my bracelet?
He alone is my rock
and my salvation;
He is my fortress,
I will never be shaken
Ps.62:2
Well today it is going to be my mantra. Because something happened last night and I am feeling pretty shaken about it this morning. I can't get into it here. I wish I could. Oh, how I wish I could, because it always makes me feel better to write about this kind of stuff and you guys are always so supportive. But I can't. Think good thoughts for me today. I need tham.