Feeling overwhelmed

Today was not a great day. It wasn't horrible, it just wasn't wonderful either. I don't think I slept well last night. Woke up exhausted. So far the hideous contraption is NOT helping me, as far as I can tell. I'm feeling stressed about all that needs to be done for the adoption. I'm so stressed about it, in fact, that I have done NOTHING since the day before Thanksgiving. I really just don't know where to start. I know we have to get ready for our home-study. THAT's stressing me out big time. Not the home-study itself, but everything we have to do to get ready for it. Totally overwhelming. I know this is all going to be worth it in the end, but there is a part of me that still wishes we didn't have to go through all of this. That we could just get pregnant like everyone else. I'm also starting to really stress out about the Big Scary Surgery. I am feeling very nervous about it. I wish I didn't have to have it. But I do, so I need to get over it. Work is stressing me out. They want me to have everything ready for them when I'm gone. That means I have to prepare art projects, make up lunch schedules, check out library books, and leave detailed instructions for every little thing. It's a huge pain in the butt. I think I'm just hormonal. I heard "Silent Night"on the radio on the way home, and it made me cry. Even though I truly do love Christmas, it makes me feel sad too. I can't believe we have to go through another Christmas without a child. It feels like we have been going through this forever. I can't remember my life before we started trying. I miss my Mom more at Christmas too. I can't believe we have had so many Christmases without her. Sometimes it hits me that she is really never coming back. I know it's weird to be thinking that after 9 years, but there's something about Christmas that makes me miss her so much more. I'm going to go take a shower now, and get into my pajamas. I'll feel better tomorrow. I'm obviously in some kind of funk. Everyone has days like these(right?)

Fun in S.F.

More fun in S.F.

A hint of things to come?

Home Safely

We made it home safely today, in a little over six hours. How come the drive seems so much longer coming home than going? I'm going to be in a little bit of trouble tomorrow at work, as I called in "sick" today so we wouldn't have to fight the traffic. At least that's the reason I gave. The real reason we decided to come back today instead of yesterday is because Lisa bought us tickets to see "A White Christmas" in the city. She got us third row seats and they were awesome! The show was so cute too. If anyone is need of some holiday spirit, I definitely recommend you go see this musical. I would make it a girl's night out though, judging by the look on my husband's face when I showed him the video clips on their site. Lisa and I had a great time, just the two of us. Thanks Sis! I hear it's playing in L.A. right now, as well as S.F. It would be so fun to go with the whole family on Christmas Eve. Maybe next year. Now I have to buy the movie. I saw it a while back, but now I think it needs to be a part of our Christmas tradition to watch it every year. I know Lisa already posted this, but here's their website: Irving Berlin's White Christmas; The Musical. It's good to be home, although I miss the kids already. Boy is our house quiet! Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes not. Right now it makes me miss Cameron and Gracie a lot. I have no one to ask "What does a turkey say?". Well, I COULD ask my husband, but he won't reply(in a very cute two year old voice) "Gobble Gobble Gobble!" Yep, I'm gonna be needing a video clip of that so I can replay it over and over!

Having a Blast in San Francisco

We've relly been enjoying ourselves this weekend in S.F. We arrived at around 1:00 in the afternoon, to a lovely spread of appetizers. Then we took a nap(Hey, I got up at 3:30 a.m.!) and were ready for Turkey at 5:30. Scott outdid himself, as usual and diner was scrumptious. Friday we spent the day in Sacramento. See Lisa's blog for pics. I, of course forgot my camera cord again. I am so absent minded sometimes. I'm told it gets even worse after the baby comes. I don't know if that's possible! Today we took a hike at Land's End, then had lunch at a place near there right across from the beach. Then Lisa and I got away for an hour to do some shopping. I'm babysitting the kids right now, so Lisa and Scott could have some much needed time out. We're having a "Polar Express" party. We made caramel apples, and popcorn, and now we're watching the Polar Express and I'm about to go make us some hot chocolate. This much fun should be illegal!

One year ago...

Here we are last Thanksgiving in Tahoe. Sigh. I guess not every Thanksgiving can be perfect and absolutely magical. As you read this, I am hopefully at least half way to San Francisco, if not there already. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited about spending this Thanksgiving at my sister's. I love spending time with my niece and nephew. It's just we had such a wonderful time last year and I hope someday we can experience it again.

Pre-Thanksgiving Exhaustion

I am just so tired. Night number two with the hideous contraption did not go as smoothly as night one. The chin strap is helping to keep it on my face all night, as it was all askew this morning when I woke up, and Joe said I was "struggling" with it when he came to bed. No wonder I'm so tired. Apparently I'm fighting the hideous contraption in my sleep unbeknownst to me, and the hideous contraption is winning! It is so darn uncomfortable. I'm a stomach sleeper and it's literally impossible to sleep on your stomach with that thing on your face. It gets in the way big time. I'm trying to train myself to sleep on my back, but it's hard to undo a 34 year old habit. Oh well, enough whining. It's Thanksgiving tomorrow, so I should be telling you all how thankful I am. As for adoption news, I filled out a bunch of paperwork today(it was kind of slow at work. Lots of kids out of town for the holiday). After Thanksgiving I'll be able to turn in a bunch of the paperwork, and then we'll get ready for our home-study. I'm very lucky because I already have in my possession our certified marriage certificates, birth certificates and my passport. Obtaining these documents can sometimes hold up the process. Going to China with Lisa and Scott last summer is really coming in handy now! All we have left to do as far as documents go is for Joe to get his passport, since his is expired. We're both running around here like crazy tonight, trying to get the house cleaned up for the pet-sitter, plus get the car packed so we can leave tomorrow morning. We're planning on leaving our house at 4:00 a.m. Not that many people are going to leave for their trips that early are they? I really hope not. I really hope to miss at least some of the traffic. I keep having flashbacks to Thanksgiving two years ago when we left at 2:30 p.m. on Wednesday for S.F. It was a NIGHTMARE! I have never seen that many people on the road, ever!(And I hope to never again!). Well, I'm supposed to be cleaning right now, while Joe is at the store, so I best be going. I'll try to post from Lisa's house, but may not get the chance. Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving!

What was I thinking?

O.K. I have removed the picture of me wearing the hideous contraption. What a horrible picture! Why would anyone put a picture like that up for everyone to see? And what was up with my eyes being so red? It was kind of scary! I must have been REALLY tired last night when I posted that. I have decided I don't want that picture on my blog. If you got to see it, consider yourself lucky! Just promise me you won't picture me wearing that every time you see me(for those of you that see me).
On the adoption front, I have still done nothing. I called the agency today, but they didn't return my call. I'm a little confused as to what we need to do first. I already have all of the documents I need(birth certificates, marriage certificates, my passport, ect.) I think we have to make appts. for our fingerprints next. I'll try to do that tomorrow. We have some serious work to do on the house before we have our home-study done. I will only have two weeks after Thanksgiving to get stuff done before my surgery. I'm thinking a lot of this stuff is going to have to wait until after the New Year.



P.S. My first night wearing the hideous contraption went alright. I didn't rip it off my face. I think I MIGHT be able to get used to wearing it. (Maybe) I really don't feel less tired today than normal though. I wonder if I will feel the effects right away, or after wearing it for a couple of weeks.

As promised..pictures of me wearing the hideous contraption

Well, here it is. A picture of me wearing the C-Pap machine. Can I ask you something? Does this look like something that would be conducive to sleep? DOES IT? I think not! I'm hoping it works because as you can see from my bloodshot eyes, I am very tired! I'm going to bed now, and hopefully to sleep!


P.S. Joe thinks I am crazy brave for posting this picture on the internet for all to see. I told him after all I've been through these last four years, this is nothing!

Our adoption journey

I have changed the name of my blog to "Our Adoption Journey". I was never completely happy with "Our Journey towards Parenthood" anyway, and the adoption is what it is really going to be about. I bummed because I did NOTHING relating to the paper-chase today. I was going to make a bunch of phone calls(Fingerprint appt., physicals) but there simply wasn't time. I don't get scheduled breaks at work and there is truly no time when I am away from the kids. There is no privacy to be had either. Today a psychiatrist returned my call while we were playing outside, so I went around the side of the building to talk to him and some kids found me there and started arguing about something and he asked me if this wasn't a good time maybe he could call back later? I was so embarrassed. I do get off work early enough to do these things at home, but today I had an appointment to go and get fitted for my C-Pap machine right after work and didn't get home until 5:00. Then it's too late to make phone calls. So I guess I'll have to put them at the top of my list for tomorrow. The good news is that I now have in my possession my lovely C-Pap machine! As promised, I will post pictures later. It really is hideous. It's a good thing we won't be trying to get pregnant now, because nobody would come near me when I am wearing that thing! I hope it helps me. I don't remember feeling any better the last time I had it, but I'm willing to give it another try. I now have a chin strap that wraps all the way around my head, so this should keep me from ripping it off of my face unintentionally in the middle of the night. I did this quite often before. Also, the technician suggested that Joe check to make sure I still have it on when he comes to bed, since he comes to bed often two-three hours later than I do. I smiled at him and said "Sure, good idea" when he said this, but I know Joe will NOT do this for me because I become quite cranky when woken up in the middle of the night, and have often SCREAMED at him for turning on the light and waking me. Of course, I remember none of this, but this is what I'm told happens when he accidentally wakes me at 2:00 a.m. I can't imagine what I would do if he not only woke me, but suggested I put that machine back on my face. I think he would be afraid for his life! I guess we'll just see how it goes. My house is now completely decked out for Christmas(on the inside anyway). Also, I discovered today that we have not one, not two, but THREE stations playing Christmas music 24 hours a day! I don't know if I can stand it! I mean, really, how many times can you hear "I'm dreaming of a white christmas" before you feel like your head is going to explode? Did I mention it was 85 degrees at my house today? It's kind of surreal to have Christmas music playing in your car when the A.C. is blasting on high. I think I will be listening to a lot of C.D.'s over the next month, to get a break from all of the Christmas music. I am trying to pack as much holiday fun as I can into the two weeks before my surgery though. I have a feeling I won't be in the mood for at least a week or tow after that. I really wanted Joe to be in the drive through nativity with me at my church, but he won't. Wouldn't he make a great Joseph? Seriously, look at the photo to the left. He would be perfect! They are in desperate need of volunteers. Oh well, I can always hope.

I've just come from church. I know I've said this before, but I LOVE my church. I have really been making an effort to attend every week. Here's their website for anyone that's interested: Mount of Olives. I especially love it there around the holidays. The message is always relevant, and they have very special holiday services. I'm planning on attending the Thanksgiving service on Wednesday. Today was their alternative Christmas Fair. They had booths from all different charities that you could choose to give to as an alternative to spending your money on gifts for friends and family. I signed up to bring dessert to the soup kitchen on Tuesday, and I adopted an angel. My angel is a twelve year old girl. I'm going to buy her some clothes and maybe a C.D. I'll have to check with the kids at work to see what else she might like. I'm starting to get into the holiday spirit. (I know, this is a complete turnaround from my post last week on how I was denial about the holidays being right around the corner) It helps that we have not one, but TWO radio stations that are playing Christmas songs 24 hours a day! Yes, I HAVE been listening to Christmas music! In fact, I even had Joe get out my holiday decorations so I can put them up before we leave for Thanksgiving! That way it will already be done when we come home. Don't worry, I won't put up any of the outside decorations until we get back. I figured I better get a head start on this holiday stuff, since I'll be having my surgery on the 14th and probably won't feel like doing anything after that. Let the Holidays begin!

A side note...for those of you that were wondering

I did finally start my period(three days late-Ugh!) So I am officially in the "good" part of the month. Sweet! Only one more tortuous period before the big scary surgery that will change my life. Yes! Also, the boutique was a complete bust. There just weren't a lot of people there and only sold two bracelets. I was kind of bummed, but I'm over it now. I did buy a very cute changing pad and baby blanket that were made with Shabby Chic material. I bought my first baby stuff! It was so fun! I think it;s really starting to hit me me. I'm going to be a Mom! Yes, I know we have a long way to go but I don't care. I'm going to be a Mom! There is no feeling in the world better than that!

The Big Announcement

O.K. I promised to tell you our good news soon, and I decided that today is the day! So here goes....Drum-roll please!
We are going to adopt a baby from China! Some of you already knew this, but I hadn't officially put it on my blog yet. So we are in the process called the "paper-chase". We've chosen our agency, *************** and we've started filling out the paperwork. My Dad has graciously agreed to help us with the financial part. Thanks Dad! We have wanted to do this very much ever since Gracie came home, and now we finally can! We are so excited! We know it is a long process, but we are ready to be patient and take it one step at at time.
The waiting will be worth it once we bring home our beautiful Chinese daughter. I even bought a baby blanket yesterday. I know it's early, but I've waited a long time for this and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it! Right now we are busy filling out the forms that we can, making appointments for our fingerprints and physicals, and getting our apartment ready for the home-study. There's a lot to be done, but we're just so excited to get started. We have thought long and hard about this decision. The longer we traveled on this infertility journey, the more we realized that is wasn't simply a biological child that could fulfill our dreams of becoming parents. What we truly wanted was to start a family, and families come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. We both love Gracie so much. It matters not at all that she came from a different country and not from my sister's womb. She is our niece as much as Cameron is our nephew. And our daughter will be as much our daughter as any child that we could conceive on our own. I know it's hard for some people to understand, but we know in our hearts we are making the right decision. We hope you can be happy for us, and support us the same way you would if I had announced we were pregnant.

Way too busy

I think I have only been home in the last two days to sleep. Aside from lunch yesterday, Joe has either only seen me coming or going. I've been running around like crazy trying to get ready for the Boutique tomorrow. I'll be sharing a table with a friend, selling my jewelry. I'm hoping to sell enough stuff to make a little Christmas money(otherwise there won't be any Christmas!) Technically we're "skipping" Christmas this year, as far as gifts go. I'll only be buying for the kids this year, as well as only one or two presents for Joe. We decided to really tone it down this year and save all of our money for something really important to us that I'm still not ready to announce yet(but soon, I promise!). Well, it's late and I'm exhausted, so it's off to bed with me. Wish me luck tomorrow!

Playing Hooky

I didn't go to work today. I was supposed to go, I just didn't. I was scheduled to go in late because of a doctor's appt.(more on that later), but my appointment ended up taking so much longer than I expected that I decided to call in sick for the rest of the day. Joe had to twist my arm a little, and offered to take me to lunch. It was a difficult choice to make, but I wound up choosing lunch with my husband over going in to work for a few hours. Go figure! I really would have only been able to put in a few hours anyway, and I have plenty of sick time saved up. I had taken this coming Friday off a month ago, so it looks like I'll be having two three-day works weeks in a row. Awesome! Anyway, back to my Doctor's appointment. I went to see a new Gastroenterologist. I want to be sure all of my health issues are being taken care of. After my surgery, I want to feel GOOD. 2006 is going to be a year where I am in good health and am pain free. I am going to do whatever I have to do to make this a reality. So I'm slowly checking off my list of doctors that I have to see about some of my current health problems. So today I was off to see a Gastroenterologist regarding my Reflux and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The doctor I saw is new to me, and I really like him. He seemed very caring and thorough. He was funny too. He did do something that struck me as odd when I first met him though. I was explaining to him some of my medical history, and then I told him that I was scheduled for a Pre-Sacral Neurectomy next month. When I said this he visibly shuddered and said Ugh! He shuddered the kind of shudder where your shoulders shake and your head moves back and forth! Try to picture this if you can. You have just told your new doctor you are going to have a scary surgery to help rid you of your pain and he reacts like that! I was so shocked by his reaction that I burst out laughing and told him that wasn't exactly the reaction I was looking for! He laughed too, and began apologizing profusely, saying that it was something he didn't know a lot about, but the name of the surgery itself is intimidating. No kidding! Later on Joe said it struck him as funny that a doctor who routinely inserts items into people's colons would react like that to a gynecological procedure. I don't know about funny, but it does make me a tad bit nervous about the upcoming procedure. Despite that one incident, I really did like him. He wants me to go on Prevacid for the Reflux, but he wants to wait until after the surgery to deal with the IBS, which is what I figured he would say. I'm scheduled to go back to see him in January for a followup. Now I'm off to run a few errands before meeting up with the friend I am going to share a table with at the boutique on Friday.

Waiting...

I'm feeling kind of crummy today, just waiting for my cycle to start. We all know it's coming, so why does it have to be so elusive? I am usually like a clock, but lately have been either way early or one or two days late. It's almost as though the more I want it to come, the longer it takes. I'm ready for the painful part of the month to end, and the "good" part to start. Only one more month of this torture before my surgery and hopefully the end to all this pain. I can hardly wait. Do you know what I saw on the way home form work today? You'll never guess. That's right! Christmas lights on somebody's house!!!!! Are you kidding me? I KNOW Thanksgiving is next week, but everybody knows you simply CANNOT put up Christmas lights before then! It actually made me feel a bit panicked. I'm not ready for Christmas! Heck, I'm not even ready for Thanksgiving!
I think I might be in denial about the holidays being just around the corner. I guess I better get over it, because like it or not, here they come!

P.S. Joe and I received some good news today, but I'm not ready to share it with the world quite yet. Only a couple of people know what it is(You know who you are). We need some time for it to sink in before I start blogging obsessively about it(which you know I will do). And no, I am NOT pregnant!(technically). Oops, I think I just gave you a hint. Hee Hee!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I wasn't feeling great. I didn't even leave the house. I spent all day Saturday at a friend's son's birthday party. I had a great time. The food was good, the company great. It was a good party, as usual. I wasn't feeling sad at all like I usually do at these kinds of events. The only hard part of the party was that one of the women there was very pregnant. With twins. I could not bring my self to talk to her! I'm not kidding. I would find her standing beside me and I would turn towards her to engage in conversation and a huge lump would form in the back of my throat and I was unable to speak. I could taste the tears in the back of my throat. I ended up walking away from her on several occasions. She probably thought I was so rude! I hate that I act this way. It's like I have no control over my emotions. I am usually a very nice person. I have no problem talking to anyone. I go out of my way to talk to elderly people and handicapped people that I meet. So why can't I talk to pregnant women? It certainly isn't their fault I can't get pregnant! When will I get over this? I can't go the rest of my life ignoring pregnant women! Will I ever be O.K. with this? The situation is probably made worse by the fact that I am so close to starting my period, but it's still no excuse. I think I am going to need a lot more therapy to deal with these issues. That's it! I'll go tell my PREGNANT therapist how much I dislike pregnant women! Then I'll feel much better! Ha Ha! It's either laugh or cry, and Lord knows I've certainly done enough crying.

100 Things About Me

Well, here it is. My "100 things about me" list. I've been reading blogs for awhile now, and this is something we bloggers do when we reach our hundredth post. So here goes.....

100 things about me

1. I am almost 35 years old.
2. I truly believe I am married to my soul mate.
3. I have two dogs, a cat, and a turtle.
4. I have a twin sister. People always ask me if it is fun having a twin. I always say yes, but truthfully I don’t know what it’s like NOT to have one, so I don’t really know the answer to that question.
5. I work with children and I love it.
6. I have never had another job besides working with children.
7. I am highly underpaid.
8. I grew up in Orange County, and live there now.
9. I took four years of Spanish in High School, yet cannot even formulate one sentence.
10. I have enough college units to obtain two A.A. degrees. Liberal studies and Early Childhood Education. It states Liberal studies as my major on my diploma.
11. My favorite movie is “When a Man Loves A Woman”
12. My favorite singer is James Taylor.
13. I have all but three of his C.D.’s and have seen him in concert 11 times.
14. I love candy.
15. I love to read, but rarely put the time aside to do it.
16. I love Mexican food. I could eat it every day.
17. I love scary movies, but they often give me nightmares.
18. I’ve never gotten a ticket(moving violation)Parking tickets don’t count!
19. Family is very important to me.
20. I love dogs. If I could I would have at least four or five.
21. I have blue eyes. People often comment on how blue they are.
22. My favorite holiday used to be Christmas.
23. Since my mom died, it is too sad to be my favorite. My favorite now is Easter.
24. I love rain. I wish it rained more where I live.
25. I love Disneyland. I try to go at least once a year, even though I don’t have kids.
26. I’ve seen Rent four times. I know the words to every song in it.
27. I am Christian. I don’t attend church as often as I should, but I have strong faith.
28. I have cried myself to sleep more times than I can count in the last four years.
29. This is not where I thought I would be at almost 35 years old.
30. I live in an apartment, but sometimes don’t tell people because I am embarrassed that I can’t buy a house.
31. I don’t like watching any kind of sports.
32. I used to have a horse. I miss having one.
33. I have had no living grandparents since I was ten years old.
34. I am adopted.
35. I sometimes think about my biological mother. Not that often.
36. I listen mostly to country music.
37. I love to take pictures.
38. I love to create scrapbooks, but am currently far behind.
39. I suffer from depression.
40. I have only been with one man in my life.
41. Fall is my favorite season.
42. I am a worrier.
43. I am overweight and currently doing nothing about it.
44. I am not a morning person, yet I have had a job for the last 13 years where I have to be there at 6:45 a.m.
45.I don’t have a favorite color.
46. My feelings are easily hurt.
47. I don’t play any instruments.
48. I doodle when I’m on the phone.
49. I find it hard to make friends.
50. I love camping in Big Sur, but don’t go often enough.
51. I am a pretty good cook, but don’t cook very often.
52. I have only three first cousins.
53. I had mono when I was twelve.
54. I have broken only one bone(my ankle, when I fell off my horse at age 12).
55. I snore terribly. I have sleep apnea. I am supposed to sleep with a CPap machine on my face, but I haven’t in two years. I am about to get one again.
56. I was afraid of the dark as a child. I still am. Ask my husband.
57. I have absolutely no sense of direction.
58. I have never lived alone.
59. I let my dogs sleep in bed with me. Under the covers.
60. I’ve never tried drugs of any kind. I am proud of this.
61. I used to be asthmatic, but seem to have grown out of it.
62. I care what others think of me, and I hate it.
63. I have never been pregnant.
64. I’m afraid I never will be.
65. I don’t enjoy going to the movies. I always feel there are more productive things to be done.
66. I despise humid weather.
67. I love candles.
68. I can’t sing.
69. I’m terrified of spiders.
70. I’m addicted to popsicles. It started when my nephew came to visit last Easter and I had to buy popsicles for him. Now I HAVE to have them almost every night.
71. I will never bungee jump or parachute from a plane.
72. I found a turtle in the gutter by our house and spent a hundred dollars on an aquarium for him(her?). I’m told he will live for at least 40 years. That is more of a commitment than I bargained for, but I feel responsible for him now.
73. I am not at all graceful.
74. I’ve seen the movie “Grease” more times than I can count.
75. I used to be able to recite every line from the movie “The Breakfast Club”.
76. My birthday is January 5th. Because it is so close after Christmas, people often forget it.
77. I make lists, but rarely complete what’s on them.
78. My ears are pierced, but I never wear earrings.
79. I suffer from insomnia quite often. It is horrible.
80. I rarely(never?) wear high heels.
81. I was married on Valentine’s Day. At the time I thought it was romantic. Now I think it is a pain.
82. I spend way too much time on the computer.
83. I have way too much free time(see post #82)
84. I don’t like change.
85. I know the words to every song that comes on the radio. It doesn’t matter what genre. Rock, Country, Top 40, Oldies, 80’s, soft rock, you name it. If it comes on the radio, you can bet I know at least some of the words.
86. My husband thinks this is funny.
87. I like to collect things, but get bored easily and switch to something else before my collection gets too big.
88. I love my niece and nephew like they are my own children.
89. I hate snakes, yet there are two living in my house currently. My husband likes them.
90. I have not been unemployed since I was 16.
91. I have endometriosis that causes me a lot of pain. I have had two surgeries to get rid of it. I am about to have another.
92. I used to be afraid of roller coasters, but now I love them.
93. I didn’t do very well in school, from grade school to my first year of college.
My parents said I didn’t apply myself.
94. My second year of college(after getting married and taking a two year break) I got straight A’s, after simply deciding to do so. I even made the Presidents list once.
95. I think my parents may have been right.
96. I have low self esteem.
97. I am very quiet in a group of people I don’t know well, but often talk too much around those I am comfortable with.
98. I have a short attention span.
99. I am afraid of heights
100. My husband says to be sure and include that I make the best potato tacos.

The Surgery is back on!

That's right. My husband called my doctor this morning and told them it was imperative I have my surgery before Christmas. It looks as though if he hadn't done this I would have been waiting until after the new year. Yet another reason why I love him so. My surgery has been scheduled for Wednesday, December 14th at 2:00. I don't know why they always schedule so late in the day. I'm forbidden from eating anything from 10:00 p.m. the night before. Last time my surgery was delayed three and a half hours, so I was absolutely starving by the time they put me out. I wouldn't be surprised if my stomach was growling during the surgery! They gave me a turkey sandwich when I woke up(because I had to spend the night) and I swear it was the best sandwich I had ever tasted, that's how hungry I was! I have to admit I'm a little bit nervous. Although I have had a laparoscopy two times before, I have never had my nerves cut. It's a little bit unnerving Ha Ha! Pun intended! The good thing is that I go on Christmas vacation on the following Wednesday, the 21st. So I'll simply take an extra week off and we'll head up to my sister's as planned on the 23rd. That means I will have a total of three weeks off. Woo Hoo! I should be rested and ready to go back to work on January 5th, which is my birthday. It's hard to believe I am sitting here writing about Christmas. Wasn't Summer just a few weeks ago? It seems like it!

Hi, my name is Michelle and I am NOT an alcoholic!

Well, that big storm they talked about on the news ended up being not so big. We actually got very little rain from it. We were able to take the kids outside for lunch and to play. This really helps me keep my sanity. We had 78 children attend yesterday, and 89 today. Eighty-Nine!(said very slowly for dramatic effect.) And I fed every one of those kids lunch! To say the least, I am very tired. I had a lot of pain today. A LOT. I spent quite a bit of time in the bathroom. Of course, with that many bodies in the room I got no peace in there at all. All three times I was in there kids were knocking on the door, jiggling the handle, or just standing outside the door calling my name. Not conducive at all to relaxation, which is what I am trying to do in there. I find if I can stretch my body out a little(sit on the floor) and breathe slowly the pain is not as intense. It still takes around 15-20 minutes before I feel O.K. Fifteen minutes seems like forever when someone is knocking on the door waiting for you to come out. Joe is going to call my doctor tomorrow and nicely suggest we get things going. I can't live like this every month. I wish I had a dollar for every time I have said this! I'm having quite a bit of pain right now. Joe is fixing me something that we have found helps. I will tell you what it is, but you have to promise not to judge me. It's Tequila. Yes, you read right, I said Tequila. Don't get me wrong. I don't have a drinking problem. I actually drink very little. I have gone months, even a whole year, without having a drop of alcohol(does this sound strangely like something an alcoholic would say?). We kind of stumbled upon this by accident. We were out at a Mexican restaurant and I was in quite a bit of pain. Joe suggested I have a margarita to help me relax. I resisted, but he ordered one for me anyway, so then I had to drink it! I wouldn't want him to feel bad! Anyway, I noticed that my pain was decreased considerably after drinking it. So the next time I had an "episode", I tried it again. And you know what? It worked! So now when I am having particularly bad episodes(like the last three months), I will drink a Margarita to help ease my pain. At this point I am going to do anything that will help me deal with the pain. You can think what you want, but I do not have a drinking problem!(I really don't!)

Still no news from the doctor. I'm starting to get impatient. I had quite a bit of pain early this morning, but it went away by the afternoon, and I even felt good enough to play tennis tonight. It didn't rain today (thank goodness!), so we were able to take the kids outside. It was a good thing, because we had over 60 kids today! Try to imagine 60 children in a building as large as a triple wide trailer. Not fun! And very loud! I think the rain is headed our way tomorrow for sure. I did receive a call from the company that will be providing my sleep apnea machine, so it looks like I will be getting that within a week. Yay! I'm so excited! I promise I will post a picture of me in it so you can see how torturous it really is. That's all for now. We're having a late dinner because we got a late start at the tennis courts. Joe had some traffic on the way home tonight.

I have nothing new to post. I'm only posting because I know you all look so forward to it(Ha Ha!) The job interview went well, but that means nothing to me. We have had other job interviews go very well and not gotten the job. I'm trying to be positive, but I am not going to get my hopes up. At least he GOT an interview! I think we may be moving in the right direction. Still waiting for my doc to call about the surgery. Last time(August) they called me right away. I'm worried that they are much busier now, with the end of the year so close. A lot of people try and schedule procedures before the first of the year, when their deductible starts over. I hope that's not the case. I was really hoping to hear from them by now. I had quite a bit of pain earlier today, but it seems to have subsided for now. This has been a much better cycle than the last two(or three!). With only five days left until I start, I think this will be a pretty good month. Hopefully I didn't just jinx it by writing that! Tomorrow starts another loooong week for me at work. Parent-Teacher conferences will be going on the rest of the week, and the kids have half days. To you a half day might sound good. You might think it means only a half day of work! What is actually means is that children get out of school at noon instead of 3:00. That means they come to us three hours earlier! So instead of spending three hours with us, they spend six! It also means that I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off the whole time, trying to get them fed and keep them entertained. To top it all off, the forecast calls for rain! Noooooo!!!!! Inside with 50 kids and no way to get all of that energy out? Maybe I should be asking for you to pray for ME over the next three days! I think I am going to need it!

Send good vibes our way

Well, we just returned from playing tennis. I think I may actually be getting better(a little!). The change in time didn't affect us at all. Even though I am more prone to not leaving the house after it gets dark, the tennis courts are lit up like it is daytime(there goes my excuse for not wanting to play!) Anyway, the real reason I am writing is that I need some help from you guys, those who read this blog. Joe has a job interview tomorrow(Shhhh....don't tell him I told you. He doesn't want anyone to know, so if he doesn't get it he won't have to explain). It is a temporary job, for next semester. One of the full time faculty is going on leave and they need a replacement. Even though it is temporary, it IS a full time position from late January to mid May. It is definitely a step in the right direction, so it would be great if he got the job. That's why I need your help. We need all the prayers we can get. If you don't pray, maybe you could just send some good vibes our way tomorrow. Either way, please keep him in your thoughts tomorrow. We could really use some happy news around here. Thanks!

I must take a moment to say happy birthday to my Dad. Happy Birthday Dad! Even though I don't have a cute video to post here(like Lisa. You should check it out. So cute!) I did go to lunch with him yesterday, and I am thinking of him today!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I'm sure you were all very dissapointed! :) I spent the whole day with an old friend. Oops! I didn't mean that SHE was old. I meant we have been friends for a very long time! We hade such a fun day together, having lunch, getting a pedicure(and manicure!), and doing a little shopping. Her kids are so cute, and getting so big! I'm looking forward to her youngest's child's birthday party next Saturday. She always has the best parties. Not too much time to write now, i'm off to lunch with Dad. More later.

Just another day in paradise. Still nothing exciting to report. Nothing from the doctor's office regarding my sleep apnea machine(I can hardly wait!), no news about my surgery, Nada, Zilch, Nothing. I have a three day weekend ahead of me. I am soooo excited. I don't know why. I have nothing planned. It's just that the kids have been driving me so crazy lately, and I haven't been feeling that great and I need a break. My thyroid must still be low because I have been feeling achy and feverish on and off for the last week and a half, as well as being so tired I am ready for bed by 8:00! These are both symptoms of hypothyroidism. I hope the new dosage of meds the doctor gave me kicks in soon. I only had a little pain today, which is pretty good for where I am right now in my cycle. Well, it's almost 8:00, so I'll be off to bed soon(you may think I am kidding, but I am not!)

Still nothing to report. Had a little pain today, but manageable. It was much cooler today. Good. It might rain tomorrow. Even better! I have a three day weekend coming up. Woo Hoo!

I have nothing to report. I had a normal, uneventful day. No pain. Yay! Sorry so boring. Not liking the heat. I already put away all my short sleeve shirts/capri pants. Not looking forward to dragging them out again(if it comes to that). I never listen to the weather, so I have no idea how long this will last. I'm ready for some cool fall weather. No news on my surgery yet. I'll keep you posted.(Ha! Get it? I'll keep you "posted"? This is a post!) I crack myself up!