This day has honestly been one of the hardest days of my life. But it's over, and I'm still standing. Barely. First off, thank you for all of the comments and e-mails. I cried reading every single one. I want to get back to each of you individually by e-mail, but I need a few days to get back on my feet. There are a few things I do want to touch on though:
Shelley- you are so right about the self loathing. I know it isn't healthy and it isn't helping the situation, but I'm so good at it! :) The doubts that were coming through last night came from a place of fear so deep I felt like it was swallowing me whole. I was so scared. So, so scared.
Oh my, #6-You are right too. Positive thinking is key. Unlike the self loathing, I am not very good at positive thinking. Especially when it seems like my life is falling apart. Must work on that.
Kim-I'm so glad you stopped by because I lost track of you when you went password protected and I've been wondering about you. And I'm sorry things are rough for you right now too.
Avery's Mama-When I said I was pretending like everything was O.K. I meant at work. At home I have done nothing but talk, shout, cry, scream, cry, and scream some more about the things he has done. Trust me, things are out in the open between my husband and I. Way out.
Everyone else-Thank you so much for being so supportive, even though I always have some kind of drama going on in my life and it must get pretty old after awhile. It gets old for me, so I know there must be people that come here and think "Now what?" I think that often.