Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Weight loss and feeling nervous
I lost 2.5 pounds this week. With the weight I lost on my own, that adds up to seven pounds. I know I should be thrilled. But I'm not. It's just that when I look at the big picture and the outrageous amount of weight I have to lose, it is so overwhelming. If I lost 5 pounds a month, it would take 14 months. You do the math to see how much total I am supposed to lose. I can't even type it without tears welling up. How did that happen? How did I manage to get this fat? I can't do this to myself. I have to focus on one week at a time. Forget the above paragraph. I'm overly tired and extememly worried about the doctor's appointment that I moved up from next week because I can't take the waiting anymore. I am praying that whatever condition I have, it is treatable and won't pose a problem with the adoption. Praying hard.