Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Still numb

I am still feeling emotional today. I went to write a check and realized the date. April 17th. My Mom's birthday. I had kind of forgotten about it. I mean, I knew when it was, but didn't realize it was in a couple of days. She would have been seventy three. Or four. I'm a terrible daughter because I'm not sure. Are you supposed to know how old someone would have been if they hadn't died? I had such a wonderful weekend and now am having such a terrible week. A terrible, horrible, no good , very bad week. Maybe I'll move to Australia. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, that is one of my favorite books to read to the kids). I am counting down my days left at work(seventeen). That makes me sad. I want to move on, but I'm really going to miss the kids. I am staring to stress out about the surgery. What if I'm not doing the right thing? I am awfully young for a hysterectomy. So many things are up in the air right now. My job, our finances(how are we going to pay our bills with me on disability?), my health, everything. I finally got my cell phone up and running. Finally. That's something. I want to go back to this weekend. I had such a good time. I am very lucky to have people like that to share this adoption journey with. I'll try to focus on that. There, I feel better already.

I miss you Mom. Happy Birthday.


Lisa and Tate said...

I cannot even imagine losing my mom and at such a young age that you were. We did have a fun weekend!!! Just keep thinking of the happiest place on earth!! As for the surgery, dreading it is worst than the actual surgery. Once you are done with it you will be feeling so much better!!!


Kristin said...

Hi Michelle... I hope you're feeling better... you are so blessed to have Lisa in your life... a twin sister must be the best kind of closeness.

I have to tell you, I felt like a whole new person... it is so unhealthy to have something in your body that is causing you pain and stress... you are young, but you are on your way to Sophie and life free of Midol, tampons and "period underwear"... it's all good! ;-)