I am trying to take things little by little. Like I told myself last night after I cried myself to sleep, "If I can just get up and go to work tomorrow, than I'll be O.K". Then after I did that I said "If I can just get to work and make it to lunch time, then I'll be O.K". And now I'm telling myself "If I can make it until five, then I can go home and crawl into bed and then I'll be O.K". It appears to be working so far. 



There's this thing in "Blog Land" that people do every Thursday, called "Thursday Thirteen".

Basically it is just a list of thirteen things about a certain topic. Like, your favorite musicians or thirteen things about your house, etc. In the spirit of focusing on the positive, I thought I would list thirteen things I love about my husband. Because he really is an amazing man. He has just made some very bad choices lately. I don't know where we stand right now. We're kind of muddling through, day by day. But I do know this. I love him.

Thirteen Things I Love About My Husband:




1. His smile. It warms my heart.


2. He is the smartest man I know. He lacks some common sense. But dude-is he smart. My co-worker and I often ponder over things like politics or the war in Iraq and whenever we don't know something(which is every single time), I'll say, "Let me call my husband". And he knows the answer. Every single time.

3. He takes care of me. He goes with me to every single doctor's appt. I have(which are many), he picks up my prescriptions, he makes me dinner when I just don't have energy.

4. He is the most tolerant person I know. He firmly believes that every single person living on this earth is equal to the other. Regardless of Race, Faith, Political Party, Sex, or Economic Status. His favorite saying is "We are all the same. We are Human." He will not allow any kind of stereotype or racial slur to be uttured in his presence. Don't even think of saying something like "Women(or Asians) are bad drivers" or "Jewish people are cheap", or "Blondes are dumb.". Nothing infuriates him more. Nothing. I love that about him.

5. He writes beautiful poetry. For me.

6. He is an amazing teacher. I love to sit in the back of his classroom and watch him teach a class. He is funny and charming, yet firm and in total control of the class. You do not want to give him any Sh**. You will lose that argument.

7. He says Hello to every single person that walks by him. It doesn't matter if they answer back or not.

8. He will watch any television show that interests me. We watch Project Runway, Dancing with the Stars, Super Nanny, Grey's Anatomy, and So You Think you Can Dance together, even though these shows really don't interest him in the least. Same goes for Movies. He will see any Chick Flick I want to see.

9. He has gotten dressed at ten o' clock at night, driven to the store, and returned with chocolate ice cream, just because I really wanted it. Many, many times.

10. When I said I wanted for us to adopt a little girl from China, he said "O.K.", without missing a beat. No questions, no doubts, no fear. Just "Let's do it".

11. He dislikes the dog we have at the moment, because she's not really his(I kind of dumped her on us a few years ago), she is not housebroken, and she is not the brightest light bulb in the pack. Yet I have come out of our bedroom after going to bed and he is cuddled up on the couch with her laying on his chest.

12. He lets me decorate my house with a Shabby Chic theme, with Roses, and purple and teacups, even though he really doesn't like it. But I like it. So he looks past it.

13. He brings me presents all the time. A book from work. A candy bar from the store. Some bath products he got when he was at the Mall and just happened to walk by Bath and Body.

There you go. 13 things I love about my husband. I could go on even longer. But I'm tired. I think we're gonna be O.K. It's like he said yesterday. " I know I screwed up. But we can always begin again."

I guess that's what we'll try to do. Begin again.

This day has honestly been one of the hardest days of my life. But it's over, and I'm still standing. Barely. First off, thank you for all of the comments and e-mails. I cried reading every single one. I want to get back to each of you individually by e-mail, but I need a few days to get back on my feet. There are a few things I do want to touch on though:
Shelley- you are so right about the self loathing. I know it isn't healthy and it isn't helping the situation, but I'm so good at it! :) The doubts that were coming through last night came from a place of fear so deep I felt like it was swallowing me whole. I was so scared. So, so scared.
Oh my, #6-You are right too. Positive thinking is key. Unlike the self loathing, I am not very good at positive thinking. Especially when it seems like my life is falling apart. Must work on that.
Kim-I'm so glad you stopped by because I lost track of you when you went password protected and I've been wondering about you. And I'm sorry things are rough for you right now too.
Avery's Mama-When I said I was pretending like everything was O.K. I meant at work. At home I have done nothing but talk, shout, cry, scream, cry, and scream some more about the things he has done. Trust me, things are out in the open between my husband and I. Way out.
Everyone else-Thank you so much for being so supportive, even though I always have some kind of drama going on in my life and it must get pretty old after awhile. It gets old for me, so I know there must be people that come here and think "Now what?" I think that often.

15 Months

****I must be really tired because I can't even get my e-mail address right. My actual e-mail address is scrappermg@cox(dot)net. Duh!******* All fixed now.

Wow. That one almost slipped right by. I don't know how many more months we have to go. I'm trying to be O.K. with this wait. Truthfully, we need some extra time right now to figure some stuff out and get our Sh** together before we bring a child into our home. Lots going on. Can't get into it. So in a way, maybe the longer wait times are a blessing. For us. It still sucks for the rest of you out there that are ready now and never signed up for a wait this long. I still get a chuckle out of the original letter we got from our agency stating that we could expect a referral in 12-18 months. Ha! Life sure does throw some curve balls, doesn't it?

Anyway, on to a happier topic. I have been crafting like a crazy person since Thursday night. I do this when I am anxious or upset. It helps take my mind off of things and calms me.

So far I have made 70 Valentine's that are ready to be sent out(yes, you read right. Seventy). I signed up for this handmade postcard swap on another blog and I misunderstood the directions and thought I was supposed to be sending out to fifty people. Apparently I only had to send out to ten. Oops. My bad. You'd think after working with five year olds for 15 years I could listen and follow directions better. I guess not. So now I have 20 cards that I'll be sending out to family, and fifty handmade postcards ready to go out too. Anybody want a handmade Valentine from me? E-mail me your address and I'll drop it in the mail next week with the others-scrappermg(@)cox(dot)net. My plan is to send the extras to some of our troops in Iraq. I'm thinking some of those guys (and gals) may not receive too many Valentine's.

Here are some pictures of my crafting mania:

I ordered this vintage lace from Esty for like $6.00. I heart Etsy. And vintage lace. It makes me happy.














These are the cards going out to family and friends. Still have to print and crop the photos for the center. I know it seems egotistical to put our picture on our cards, but it's our fifteenth wedding anniversary too and it's kind of like how you put your picture on your Christmas cards so people that you haven't seen in forever don't forget what you look like. At least that's my logic. It's probably still egotistical. I don't care.










Here are the postcards. These will be going out to the people in the swap, as well as the troops, and maybe you! If you send me your address! Oh, and if you got a Christmas card from me(blog friends included), you'll be getting one of these whether you asked for it or not :)













Gotta go. More cards to finish.

Since our 15th wedding anniversary is coming up, I have been desperately trying to come up with ideas on something to do. Usually we don't do anything on the actual day(Valentine's Day), because it is entirely too crowded but this year because it's a big one I decided we must. do. something. They were advertising on the local radio station that Barry Manilow was going to be doing a concert in a town near us on Valentine's Day, and I thought that sounded kind of romantic, so I brought it up to my husband the other day. Here's how that conversation went:
Me: Joe, I really want to go out on our anniversary. Have you thought of anything we might do?
Him: Blank stare, followed by "Ummmmmmmmm................no?"
Me: Okay. I was thinking it might be kind of romantic to go see Barry Manilow in concert.
Him: Complete and total silence.
Me: Joe?
Him: Just exactly how old are you?
Me: Shut up! It would be fun! I hear he's actually pretty good in concert. And I'm two years younger than you are, thankyouverymuch!
Joe: But that just seems like something my Mom would do.
Me: Great. Fine. Just forget it. We'll sit home like we always do.
Him: You could always call my Mother.
Hardy har har. Hmph!

On another occasion I asked him what he would like me to get him for his anniversary. I about felt out of my chair when he replied "A puppy". A what? I know he misses our Tessie, but a puppy is so much work! Not to mention the fact that the one he wants we could never afford. Ever. He wants an English Bulldog. I was able to find one for half the price of all the others I looked at, but is still wayyy out of our budget. He said he'd settle for a Boxer, but even then we're looking at $400.00. So it looks like we'll be staying home this year, and not exchanging any gifts. Happy Anniversary to us!

Yesterday was a cold and rainy day. It suited my mood perfectly. I drove around all day yesterday, frantically running errands trying to get something done that is very important that has been long over due. Then when I got to my final destination I was unable to complete the task. This had me so frustrated that I ended up crying at the counter of the DMV. Uhhhhh...dramatic much? The woman behind the counter was very nice about the whole situation and gave me not one, but three numbers to call to try and get the situation sorted out tomorrow. So I will sort it out tomorrow. But I really wanted to get it done today. Sigh. On the way home Joe and I drove by the beach and it was a beautiful, stormy day so we went for a walk on the shore, where I wrote this in the sand:



















Cue more tears on my part. Must. Get. Hormone Level. Checked.
Soon.

Wordless Wednesday

Japanese Tea Gardens
12/07

This makes me sad. I know, it's just another Hollywood actor out of control, but it really is sad. I understand Depression. I've been in the throes of some pretty bad depressive episodes in my life. But I always had my family and my husband by my side, keeping my head above water and showing me that I am loved. It makes me sad that someone who was so successful didn't have one person that recognized that he was in trouble or in pain(It is still not clear if it was suicide or not, but pills were found at the scene). And he has a beautiful two year old daughter who will never know her Daddy. So sad.

Here's what I was doing a year ago today

This is where we spent MLK Day last year.

*Sniff*  Oh how I wish we could go back.  We had such a good time.  I so want to plan a quick weekend get away over one of the three day weekends I have coming up. My three day weekends differ from "normal" people, as I take mine when there is an orthodontic conference instead of when there is a holiday.   Our fifteenth wedding anniversary is coming up quick, and I had hoped to have something to look forward to.  We can't really afford it right now.  Sigh.  Once can dream though.  

Only one taker on the Pay it Forward Exchange so far.  C'mon people!  This will be fun!  We need something to get us through this long, long(looonnngggg) wait.  Don't let the "sending out a handmade gift" part freak you out.  Do you sew? Make a little pillow or blanket.  Do you scrapbook?  How about a personalized picture frames using a pre made  frame and some letter stickers. Are you a stamper?  A set of stamped notecards would be nice.  The possibilities are endless!  Plus, I really want to send people gifts.  I love sending people gifts.  So don't be so shy!

Pay it Forward

I’m taking part in a Pay It Forward exchange that Julie turned me on to. I've seen it going around on a couple of other blogs and I love the idea of it.

Here's the deal:









It’s the Pay It Forward Exchange. It’s based of the concept of the movie “Pay it Forward” where acts or deeds of kindness are done without expecting something in return, just passing it on, with hope that the recipients of the acts of kindness are passed on. So here’s how it works. I will make and send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment to this post on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange. I do not know what that gift will be yet, but I promise it will be something fun. I will try to get the gift out within the next three weeks.

What YOU have to do in return, then, is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

If you’d like to take part, be one of the first three to comment mentioning that you’re signing up for the PIF exchange. You’ll have to agree to the this pledge:

I, [insert your name here] will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange, and who make the same pledge on their own blogs.

Did you say it aloud? Come on, put your hand over your heart and say it like you mean it!


I'll even send gifts to more than three people, as long as you are willing to make the same promise on your blog. I'll contact you via e-mail to get your mailing address to send the gifts to. This is gonna be fun!

Out Germs, Out!

I am banishing all sickness from my house today. I'm done with it. I'm washing every single linen we own, all of the windows are open and we're airing the place out. I'm tackling some clutter piles we have laying around from Christmas too. I'm convinced that clutter plays a part in my getting(or staying sick). I'm sure of it. My husband disagrees. Perhaps because most of the clutter I have been tackling belongs to him. I'm still feeling a bit weak. I think probably because I haven't been up and around in three days. And also I'm not eating. I'm just not hungry and nothing sounds good and I'm a little bit nauseous. I've lost a bit of weight. Nothing to write home about. A couple of pounds. I have to go back to the gym in the next week or so. I promised my kidney doctor I would. And since now I have to go back and see him in a month instead of three(darn sickness!), I have to have lost at least a little bit of weight or he'll be all over me about it. Fun. I found memory card laying around in my suitcase from Christmas(Yes. I just put it away today. So? :) I'm going to download it right now and if it is anything interesting I'll post some of them. Gotta go. Have tons of laundry to fold.

Things are Starting to Look Up

I am feeling so much better today. Finally. The cold seems to be almost completely gone. All of the swelling/joint pain is gone too, except for some pain in my knuckles. I am resisting the urge to get out of bed today. I promised myself I was going to rest all weekend and get completely better for work on Monday. We are crazy busy on Monday, as it is a holiday and all the kids are out of school and they all want to get into the orthodontist on their day off. I will be better by then. I will. Anyway, I have so much catching up to do. I was nominated for another blog award while I was gone, and I'm going to be participating in a "Pay it Forward" exchange(that I am very excited about), and I have lots of crafting to get done. Chinese New Year's and Valentine's to get out, and I'm going to get my sewing machine out this month too. Lots to do! But first, rest. And healing.

Things get even more worse(worser?).....but then slightly better

The pain and swelling of every joint in my body went from bad, to worse, to the worst pain I have ever felt last night. I couldn't stand upright. My hands were frozen in what I can only explain as "lobster claws". My knees and ankles felt like someone was sticking pins and needles into them. This was a whole other level of pain. And I know pain. I suffered with it for over twenty years and had four surgeries to try an relieve it. But this pain? No, I have never in my life experienced it. And I have to say, if this is what people with arthritis feel on a daily basis, my heart goes out to you. Because I don't know how one goes about living with this type of pain on a daily basis. I just don't. So after an agonizing night(Joe had to take me to the bathroom. I couldn't untie my pajama pants), it was decided that we need to go to the hospital. We pulled into the hospital around ten this morning, and they were pretty quick about getting the show on the road. My hands were so swollen they had to cut my wedding ring off. There were some tears shed over this fact. It's just a ring. And it can be fixed. I know that. It's just I haven't had it off for more than a few hours time in the entire length of our marriage and we're coming up on our fifteenth year and I felt a bit sad watching them cut it off with what looked like a teeny-tiny table saw. Next came the I.V. Followed by some pain medication. Ahhhh, wonderful, glorious pain medication. And some Benadryl. Lots of Benadryl. And some Steroids, and anti-nausea medicine. This was followed by my immediate passing out on the bed(and I use this term loosely) on my part. Because no sleep + Benadry + pain and nausea meds = nighty night time for me! We were there for a couple more hours before they came in and told me I could go home, and then I signed some papers, got dressed and Joe helped me to the car, and we drove home and I don't remember one thing. He told I even ate a hot dog before I climbed into bed. Huh???? How could I eat something and not remember it?
And I just got up. Just now, at 6:10 p.m. I slept literally like a rock. And I'm not planning on leaving this bed until I get up for work on Monday. Because I have to get better this weekend. I just have to. My life has been a blur of sickness and bed rest since January First and I'm tired of it. I've got some living to do. I am feeling so much better right now, that I am hopeful this will all be a distant memory by Sunday(squeezing my eyes shut as tight as I can and praying "pleaseGodpleaseGodplease." Maybe you all could pray as well. I could really use it about now. Oh, and like Kylie's Momma says, for Joe too. Because he really is quite a trooper. And he's my trooper.

PS. I hate Blogger. Lately it won't load all of my graphics or pictures, and today the pink background color is gone so you can't read the text. I'm sick of it and would love to change, but I don't want to lose all of the beautiful stuff Verna did for me. Is it acting funny for you guys too, or just me?

In Which the Situation goes from Bad to Worse

Yesterday evening my husband picked up my prescription for Super Duper Antibiotics. (I'm not kidding. This stuff is used to kill Anthrax). So as soon as he gets home with it, I take one because I need to start feeling better. And now. The evening goes on as planned, with me feeling like crap and going to bed early. At about 9:00 I tried to change the sheets on the bed before getting into it for the night. I say try because I found that I wasn't able to do it. I don't know how to explain it, except that my hands wouldn't work properly. I didn't have the strength in them to pull the sheets over the mattress. Joe had to come in and do it for me. I thought it a bit odd, but got into bed and it didn't cross my mind again. This morning I got up. Still felt like crap. Hoping for the Antibiotics to kick in today. When I went to get ready I noticed my wrists were quite stiff and painful when I rotated them. I had a hard time brushing my hair. And getting dressed. In fact, I was fifteen minutes late getting to work because it took me that much longer to get ready. Weird. Got to work. Still felt like crap. Took my second dose of Super Duper Antibiotics, because dude, I must feel better soon. I must. Continued to feel like crap at work, with the pain in my wrists really becoming uncomfortable. At lunch I went and laid down in my car. And cried to Joe on the phone about how much pain I was in, and how I didn't think the antibiotics are working and how I still feel like crap. Somehow I manage to make it the rest of the day at work, but by four-thirty the pain is becoming unbearable not only in my wrists, but in my neck too. I find I cannot even turn it from side to side. This makes driving home ummmm.......interesting. Well, that and the crying. Because I cried all the way home. Finally reach my apartment, barely able to walk, crying, and in extreme pain. My poor husband. I was running a fever too. Again. Or at this point, still? I got into the bathtub to see if it would alleviate some of the pain. It does, but only slightly. At this point my husband is putting in frantic calls to my doctor, to see what to do, and my co-worker, because he tells me there is no way I am going into work tomorrow in this much pain. I am oblivious to all of this because I am bawling in the bath tub. I've never felt joint pain like this. I couldn't even lift a glass off of the table to drink from it. Or turn my neck even the slightest bit from side to side. Finally my doctor returns Joe's call, at which time he tells me I am having a serious allergic reaction to Super Duper Antibiotics and stop taking them immediately! Oh, and maybe even head on over to the emergency room if I have time. Or, wait an hour or so to see if things get worse, and then head over to the emergency room. Well you know how much I love the ER, and since I have been there twice in the last four months already, we decide to wait it out. Well, I beg and plead with my husband to please let me try to wait it out because I don't want to go to the ER, I don't want to! So much Tylenol and another bath and an hour and a half later, and things seem to be improving. Slightly. Still can't move my neck but pain from wrists is easing up a bit. I am laying in bed with my laptop perched precariously on my stomach and my wrists resting on a pillow just type this. So tomorrow it is back to the doctor for a 411 on how I am allergic to Super Duper antibiotics and plan B to get rid of this sinus and kidney infection. I won't even go into how this whole situation is destroying any credibility I am trying to gain at my new job. That's a whole other Oprah. Or another post, at least. And I'm thinking I've got to catch a break here somewhere. I just have to. You hear that Universe? You win. I'm standing here waving my white flag. I surrender.

Sicker than a dog

I wonder where that phrase came from. Or what it means. Do dogs get really sick a lot? Hmmmmm....something to ponder. Anyway, that phrase fits me to a T. I have been very sick this last week. Aside from dragging(literally) myself to work every day, I have been in my bed. That's where I went when I got home from work on Friday. It's where I spent all day Saturday and Sunday, and where I crawled after work on Monday and Tuesday. I've been there all day today. I have just been so sick. Today Joe made me go to the doctor. It's a good thing too. I have a raging sinus infection. I am about one day away from Bronchitis. And(it gets better!), I have a Kidney infection. No wonder I've been in so much pain. My doctor was none too pleased. A kidney infection for those of us with kidney disease is not something to be taken lightly. So of course I got a fifteen minute lecture on how dangerous this is, and how I have a compromised immune system, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm not trying to be condescending about what the doctor had to say. It's just that I had a fever of a hundred and two and was having a hard time sitting upright for any length of time and really just wanted him to give me something to make me feel better so I could go home. So now I'm on a course of heavy duty antibiotics. Heavy duty. In fact, I don't think I have ever been on such a strong dose before. So that's how my week has been. How about yours? You know how in my last post I was saying that when it rains it pours? Well it's raining cats and dogs over here. And I can't for the life of me find my umbrella.

I deleted that last post because man, depressed much? The depresssion is due to more than just the bleak news regarding the wait. Lots more going on. When it rains it pours I guess. So I'm still taking a break. Be back when I'm feeling physically and hopefully mentally better.

I'm trying to shake the negative vibe that's been hanging over me lately. Between the never ending sickness that has been plaguing me, and the issues my husband has been having, to the financial situation right now , combined with new rumors that we won't be getting our referral for Sophie until 2011, I can feel myself slipping into that dark place where I have nothing good to say(or write). I don't want to go there, and I especially don't want it to spill over onto here. So I may be taking a break. I'm not sure yet. I'll see how things go over the next few days. If I start to hear that little voice in my head saying "Step away from the computer", I may be gone for a little while. I don't know for how long, but I'll keep you posted(ha! get it? Keep you "posted"?) I'm off now to rest and think positive thoughts.

Today did not start off well at all. I had to take the morning off because Joe needed me. I had a temp of 102 degrees last night. It doesn't appear as if this cold is getting any better. I felt so bad taking off because it leaves the office manager there to deal with things alone and I know that's hard. This job differs from my old job in that I could not take off in the morning at all, but I was able to leave early if needed. At my new job the afternoons are crazy busy, but the mornings are sometimes slow. I have tried not to take any time off, as I am still pretty new there, but there have been a couple of mornings already that I have missed. I'm headed into work in a half hour or so now. I hope things went smoothly and were uneventful while I was gone. I guess I'll know in a short while. I was able to get something important taken care of for Joe, so it was worth it. And it's Friday, so Yay! Maybe this weekend will bring rest, and healing and alleviation of some worries.

This is kind of random. I don't think I have ever shared this before, but my husband writes beautiful poetry. His is after all an English Professor, and has a Master's degree in English. He writes much of his poetry for me. It truly is beautiful. It often makes me cry. He doesn't let me share it here because he says it is very private and is only for me and him to read. I respect that. But sometimes it is so beautiful that I want to post it here for the world to see and shout "Read this! It is so beautiful! My husband wrote it!" But I don't. Because he asked me not to. I'm thinking that in honor of Valentine's Day and our fifteenth wedding annniversary next month, I may convince him to let me share some of it. I'll see what I can do. He is having a hard time of it lately. Again, because of his privacy I can't share what's going on, but I feel so badly for him and want so much to help in some way. He is always taking care of me. He takes me to my docotor appointments. He picks up my medicine from the pharmacy. He cleans the house and cooks when all I want to do is lie in bed all day. I'm not as good of a caretaker as he is. I have much guilt about that. I try to be better. With marginal success. The truth is, it's hard for both of us right now. We're struggling financially. Everyone is, I'm sure, because of Christmas. We have some other financial issues that we're dealing with on top of that, along with struggling to pay the astronomical COBRA fees to keep my health insurance up. Right now we're behind. I don't qualify for health care through my job until March and right now I wonder if we'll make it that long. I think about letting it lapse, if only for a short time. But I have to have continuous coverage in order to qualify for my job's plan. So I can't afford to keep the plan I have, but I can't afford to be without it. But there is no healthcare crisis in this country. Sigh. Anyway, the point of this post was that I am worried about my husband. Send good thoughts our way. Please. It will be fine. I know that. I just wish there was something I could do to make it better for him. All I can do is hug him and tell him I love him and that it wil all be okay.

It's called a Life....Get one!

It is my day off. How I love those words. My day off. In the middle of the week. I love my job. Anyway, it's my day off and it is 12:35 p.m. And I am in bed. In fact, I haven't gotten out of bed yet. I've been reading, and fooling around on the computer. My husband even brought me coffee and a bagel in bed. It's going on day seven of this cold and there is no end in sight. My sinuses are swollen shut, I have a horrible cough and my snot is yellow with a slight green tinge. Sorry. That was entirely too much information. And really gross. Yes, I know it is time to go to the doctor. But I've been putting it off. When you have to go to the doctor as often as I do, you're really not in the mood to go unless it is absolutely necessary to do so. So I lie here in bed. At 12:35 p.m. Don't hate me because I have no kids. And am lazy. I have so much to do. So much. To do. I still have not cleaned out my car from our trip. Yes, the one that we came back from a week ago. I've been sick, okay? I still have the last of the Christmas decorations to put away. Don't worry. I took them down. I just haven't put them away. Speaking of which, I have seen at least three different houses(in different neighborhoods) on my way home from work with their Christmas lights on at night. What the? Listen people--Christmas lights need to come down right after New Year's. It is not Christmas anymore. It's time to move on. I mean, some of you have had them up since the day after Halloween, so it's not like you haven't had the time to enjoy them! This post is very informative, no? Because I know you are all sitting around at home or at work and thinking to yourselves "I wonder what Michelle is doing on her day off?" Inquiring minds want to know. So yeah, I kind of need to get a life. And soon.



**Alright, I used to work at a Catholic School(for fourteen years!), so I should have known this, but the Advent season just ended on Sunday with the Epiphany of the Lord, so that may be the reason for the lights. So if you have your lights on for religious reasons, I apologize. But if you have them up because you are just lazy, for goodness sakes don't turn them on!

I try to get something out on this here blog every couple of days, but sometimes I got nothin'. Spent the whole weekend in bed, except for Sunday night when we braved the rain to go out to dinner with some friends. We had a great time. Must do it again soon. And they have an adorable eight month old baby girl, so I get my baby fix too. The cold that was stuck in my head last week has now taken up residence in my chest. Yippee. I sound like a seal when I cough. And it's somewhat painful. Hopefully it clears up without turning into something ugly. Tomorrow is my day off and we have no plans. I would love to go to Disneyland for a couple of hours, but my annual pass expired right before Christmas(sob!) and we won't have the money to renew it for at least a month. Of course my husband likes to remind me quite often that HE could go anytime he wants to, since his pass doesn't expire until February. Nice. Who would we torment if not for our spouses? :)

Thank you so much for all of the Birthday wishes. You guys sure do know how to make a girl feel special. My birthday was fairly uneventful. I am still feeling pretty under the weather, so I stayed home all day. In my P.J.'s. I think I may have a pretty bad sinus infection. The pain and pressure behind my eyes was horrible. It seems better today. It was a cold and rainy day, so it was a perfect stay-at-home-in-your-pajamas-and-watch-movies day. Joe didn't get me anything because we are so totally broke right now. But that's okay. When things settle down he promised I could go and pick out a watch from here. I already have a $50.00 credit there, so I won't feel too badly about spending so much on myself. My friend from work brought me a cake on Friday(and some balloons and flowers!), so we had that last night. Thanks D! She also got me a gift card to the Cheesecake Factory, which we will use probably next weekend. So nice. My sister went way over the top and got me one of these:

















It's a navigation system! I am so stoked. She got one for Christmas and I used it the whole time we were there. I'll never get lost again! She also got me some pretty cool scrapbooking software too. How lucky am I? Pretty lucky. I'm thinking about staying in my pajamas again today. I want to kick this cold out as soon as possible. Well, not all day, as we're meeting some friends for dinner at a Japanese restaurant that does Teppan(think Benihana's). So I'm looking forward to that. And I'm done feeling sorry for myself about the whole not being a Mom because I'm so old thing. 37 is starting out pretty good. Bring it on!

Happy Birthday!

Today is my Sees-ter's birthday! So go on over there and wish her a happy birthday. Go on! Go!





***Da nah nah nah naah naah...you say it's your birthday? Dah nah nah nah naah naaah.....It's my birthday too!
(I sing this to everyone I know on their birthday.)



***It's a Beatles Song. But it's also from the movie 16 Candles, and that's what I am referring to when I sing it to people. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, click on the link. Click "continue" in the box in upper left corner to see clip.

So yeah, if you are paying attention, you know it is also my birthday, seeing as though we're twins and all. But I'm just not feeling it this year. I kind of feel like staying in bed and hiding under the covers until this one is over. One more year older without becoming a Mom. How many more?

My first day back to work was relatively painless. I'm still sick. I don't like being sick. My head feels like it is going to explode. I want to take something but I usually wait until closer to bedtime before downing the Theraflu. It's only six o'clock. I was planning on going to bed a little early, but not this early. At least the scratchy throat is gone. Just the stuffy nose and chest cold left. Tomorrow is Friday. Can't complain about that! Maybe I'll wake up and the sickness will be gone. Probably wishful thinking huh?

I'm sick. Blech. Scratchy throat. Runny nose. Body aches. Last day of vacation. Don't even have energy for complete sentences. Blah. Not my favorite way to start the new year.
Hopefully little better tomorrow.

I was gonna do a post about my New Year's resolutions for this year, but then I got bored so I'll just leave you with this little tidbit.

We got in from San Francisco around five-thirty. After such a long time in the car we were tired so we picked up dinner and came home to relax. Joe was channel surfing and the movie "Music and Lyrics" with Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant was on, so we watched it. It wasn't that great. Anyway, at the end of the movie Hugh Grant's character and Drew Barrymore's characters start kissing and she jumps up and wraps her legs around his waist.
I turned to my husband and said "Remember when we could do that? There's now way we could do that now. Your knees are bad and I'm too heavy. Gosh I feel old."
Do you know what my husband did then?
He got up off of the couch and went to stand in the dining room.
I said "What are you doing?".
He asked me to come over to where he was.
I was like "Why?"
He said "We could totally still do that. You are not too heavy and we are not too old. Come over here."
I said "No Way. I'm too heavy. You'll hurt yourself."
He said "Get over here!"
After much persuading on his part, I finally got up and joined him in the dining room.
And you know what? We totally did it! And nobody got hurt! I'm sure it wasn't pretty, but we did it :)
Now that's romance!

We're hitting the road in a little while to go back home. I have to say, aside from that one moment of panic, the rest of our time here was pretty uneventful. Overall the kids were very good and we kept them pretty busy. I'm not sure what came over me while I was here, but I was bitten with some kind of cleaning bug and I cleaned almost the entire house. Well, the two top floors anyway. I didn't make it down to the third floor where the kids rooms are. I would need another week for that! I have scrubbed toilets, tubs and showers, done six loads of laundry, mopped floors and vacuumed each and every room. Sometimes twice. I cleaned out all of the kids toys and sorted them into containers. I even placed a photo label on each container so the kids know where to put the toys away when they clean up. I purged a bunch of their toys too. Don't tell the kids. Or Lisa. The babysitter is coming tomorrow to spend the night until Lisa and Scott come back on Wednesday, and I am a little worried that Lisa won't get to see all the hard work I have done because the kids will mess it all up again. Oh well. For now it's home and then back to work for me on Thursday. Joe has another week off. Lucky. I have one more day off before I have to be back and I plan on doing one thing only. Sleep!

Happy New Year!