Monday, October 17, 2005

Today is my husband's birthday. Happy Birthday Joe! I love you! Now I will proceed to tell you how I am ruining it for him. I did not go to work today.(Gasp!) Yes, you may recall my post a few days ago about how I never call in sick. I might go in and leave early, but I always suck it up and somehow make it into work in the morning. It was my husband's idea. He actually placed the phone call for me. I have been home in bed for the last four days in extreme pain(almost four days. I have been home since 1:30 on Friday). Last night the pain was so bad I seriously thought we would be spending the night at the E.R. This pain is very similiar to the pain I had five years ago when three ultrasounds and a thousand tests revealed I had small cysts on my left ovary that were bleeding. I was off my feet for seven days until I finally started my period, four days late. I would bet money we are dealing with the same situation here. You are probably asking yourself why we didn't head straight to the emergency room instead of trying to stick it out at home. I'll tell you why. I have a severe fear and distrust of most medical personnel(especially those who work in the E.R.) I have not always been treated nicely by these people. I have been to the e.r. four times in the last 10 years, all with the same complaint. Severe pelvic pain due to endometriosis. Each and every time I informed the nurses of this. Every single time they ignored me and proceeded with every test known to man. X-rays, blood work, multiple ultrasounds. I don't know if you have ever had a vaginal ultrasound, but it is uncomfortable under normal conditions. It is excruciating while being done when you are having severe cramping. I even had a technician do one while my bladder was completely full(they had tied off the catheter).I have had enough vaginal ultrasounds to know you are not supposed to do that! I was writhing and screaming in pain and she had NO compassion at all. NONE! And of course they won't allow your husband to be in there with you. Why the hell would they let you do that? It might actually make you feel better!(Sorry. I have serious anger issues towards this particular hospital). So anyway, they do all of these tests and of course they all come back normal(it wasn't until later they discovered the cysts. I don't know how). Of course there was that one time they diagnosed me with diverticulitis. Even though I told them I KNEW the pain was from my cycle, not from my bowels!(It turned out I did NOT have that. DUH!) So anyway, the tests come back normal and then they act like you are either crazy, or seriously overreacting. They did give me the drugs though. That is the only thing that made it worth it. So that is what keeps me from rushing over to the emergency room to get some good drugs. I am praying that I don't start late like last time, because I have to go to work tomorrow. Anyway, back to how I am ruining my husband's birthday. I did not go to work today. I have just gotten out of bed. I am sitting here in my pajamas. We have no plans for dinner, which is a good thing since I probably wouldn't be able to go anyway. I left all of his presents at work. One of them was quite large and I had no place to hide it here, so I kept it there. I left ALL of them there. He has no presents. I did manage to buy his favorite cake mix a few days ago, but it is sitting on the counter unmade. I am really going to suck it up and bake it for him. He deserves at least that. Here was what was supposed to happen today: I was to go to work as usual. I would put his presents in my car so I wouldn't forget them. One of them still needs to be wrapped. On the way home I was going to pick up some Sushi for dinner(Joe's favorite). I was going to stop at the store and get some balloons, and make a quick trip over to Barnes and Noble to pick up a gift card. Rush home and pop the cake in the oven. Wrap remaining presents and arrange on coffee table with balloons so it is the first thing he sees when he walks through the door. Shower and dress in a slimming(HA!) outfit, with hair and makeup done. Sit down to a wonderful dinner. Finish with yummy chocolate cake, complete with me singing Happy Birthday. Open presents. If it is early enough, head over to tennis courts to try out said presents. Finish evening off with an hour or two of relaxing television, letting him choose which programs to watch. All in all, a wonderful birthday experience. I'm sure you can guess what will actually take place. Joe will come home from work to me lying on the couch in my pajamas. There will be no dinner ready. I don't even think we have any actual food in the house. There will be no presents for him to open. God willing, there WILL be a cake. I will still sing for him . I will go to bed early and try to prepare myself for working tomorrow despite the extreme pain. All in all a dismal birthday experience. So I'm so sorry! I love you and never wanted your birthday to end up this way! I will try to make it up to you somehow. (In about three days, after my dreaded period has started). I'm soo sorry.

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